Gratuitous Food Porn: Froot Loops Edition

froot loop porn header

This week Foodbeast learned that Froot Loops has been deceiving cereal eaters around the world for years. Passing off rainbow colored loops as their own individual flavors, our cries of Froot Loop shenanigans were echoed across various news stations devastating cereal lovers everywhere. Now that the truth is out, we figured it’s as good a time as any to recycle your drab cereal into something with actual flavors. From cereal treats to boozy creations, your Froot Loops would be better off mixed with other ingredients where you can cover that “mildly sweetened cardboard” taste.


Fruit Loops Treats

froot loop treats

Recipe: Dana Made It


Fruit Loops Vodka Infusions


Recipe: Faded Industry


Cereal and Milk Popsicles

cereal and milk popsicles

Recipe: The Little Foodie


The Loop Donut


Via: Susannah Hope


Froot Loop Cupcakes


Recipe: Whimsical Cookery


Froot Loops Mosaic Cookies


Recipe: Meaningful Mama


Fruit Loops Pie


Recipe: Easy Baked


Fruit Loop Macarons


Recipe: The Washington Post


Fruit Loops Waffles With Milk Glaze


Recipe: The Blonde Buckeye


Malibu Rum Fruit Loops Treats

malibu rum fruit loops treats

Recipe: Averie Cooks


I Learned Something Devastating About Froot Loops Cereal Today


First things first, yes, check the box. They’re spelled “Froot Loops,” not “Fruit Loops.” We know, right?

Second, the outrage. Honestly, is there no end to the high fructose corn syrup lies? It turns out the “fruit flavored” circles touted by Toucan S[c]am are actually just “froot-blend”-flavored.Yep, all those pretty ROYGBV dyes don’t mean diddly, since each color tastes exactly the same!

Q&A site The Straight Dope (via Reddit) reports that, just as that blue tropical bird mascot hasn’t changed since the cereal’s creation in 1962, neither has Froot Loops’ flavor — that’s flavor, singular. According to Wikipedia, “The cereal pieces are ring-shaped (hence ‘loops’) and come in a variety of bright colors and a blend of fruit flavors (hence ‘froot’),” and not “fruit.”


Of course, not keen on destroying precious childhood memories, we decided to do a little blind taste testing ourselves, only to find that each loop does in fact taste like mildly sweetened cardboard, with negligible or no differences between them.




(Method: We handed our three blind tasters random samples of Froot Loops and asked them to guess which color they had been given. The results were pretty sporadic, with nearly each color being wrongly identified as around three or four others. The yellow loop, for example, was guessed to be red, orange, and purple twice; the purple loop, red twice, and then yellow, and green. Our Trix and Fruity Pebbles tests afterward yielded similar results.)

Basically, all our childhood heroes are nothing but big fat liars. Infinite tears. </3





The Man Behind Fried Cereal

Fried Cereal

Every morning during the commute to the FOODBEAST office, I’m either listening to Madeleine Brand and Larry Mantle on KPCC or some new tunes from KCRW. I felt very fortunate to catch the end of Madeleine’s show yesterday because I got introduced to the man behind Fried Cereal, Charles Phoenix.

Phoenix is known for his previous culinary contributions including the Cherpumple, a dessert version of the Turducken/Inception Dessert combining 3 cakes and 3 pies into 1, and the Inchezonya, an entree that combines lasagna and enchiladas!

Phoenix’s fried cereal includes a fine mixture of name-brands including Frosted Flakes, Lucky Charms, Cap’n Crunch, Cocoa Krispies and Fruit Loops. I definitely think adding some Cinnamon Toast Crunch wouldn’t hurt! What brands would YOU put in your fried cereal?

Phoenix’s videos definitely put the kitsch in Kitchen, but his culinary creations are definitely worth taking note. Below find his videos for Fried Cereal and the Cherpumple.


Cravings Sweets

Pizza Cake

A large single layer cake topped with white icing (cheese), gummy strips (green and red peppers), chocolate coins (pepperoni), turtles chocolates (sausage pieces), purple fruit loops (black olives), strawberry syrup (pizza sauce), and a circle of Twinkies to hold everything together as the crust!  (Thx TIWYF)