A few years after their drinks were banned for mixing caffeine and alcohol that could result in “health risks” and blackouts, Four Loko’s found a new way to turn the crunk up in their booze.
The beverage brand just dropped a new line of hard spirits, called “Four Loko Shots,” and they look and sound absolutely wicked. Each one dials in at 35% alcohol, so it’s pretty standard for spirits, but the colors and flavors behind each sound as loko as you’d expect from these guys.
Four Loko’s new Shots include the neon-green apple Green Tornado, vibrant yellow lemon Screwball, and fiery red Dragon’s Breath shot flavors, all of which sound like they’re meant to mess you up within a couple of shots and probably would actually do so.
Between these new shots and Four Loko’s other drinks, we can already see the drink creations in store for these guys. Sure, they could be used in Tipsy Bartender-style drinks that are as colorful as they are powerful. What is likely gonna happen, however, is people will put Four Loko Shots into their Four Loko malted beverages to get even more turnt as the night goes on.
Four Loko Shot bottles are already available “anywhere you can purchase alcohol,” so if you’re ready to get LIT at a new Loko level, make sure to grab a few bottles.
Wooo! America! Time to pound some more alcohol! Give me another shot! Let’s drop a deuce on your neighbor’s back porch!
Admit it. You’ve heard some variation of the above, and as much as you hate to agree with it, it’s true. You’re at a really awesome 4th of July barbecue (maybe even your own), and things get really bad, really fast.
This post is dedicated to four drinks that are guaranteed to ruin your entire day, either by means of drinking way too much, or because of serious 3rd degree burns from a BBQ grill that floats on water.
Without further ado, I present the fantastic four game-enders at any party:
1. Four Loko’s New Coconut, Peach and Strawberry Lemonade Flavors
Just recently, Four Loko released three brand new flavors. And even more recently, some idiot (maybe you) decides to bring Four Loko to a party because, “Hey, what better way to get drunk on Independence Day than with a can of Four Loko?”
Wrong. You know the drill, you and your buddies start off sipping one can, even though you all think it tastes utterly disgusting. Then, you drink another because of how drunk you’re starting to feel, and then you trick another unassuming friend into having some. Although there may be no caffeine or stimulants since the man cracked down on the drink’s ingredients, things can go south pretty fast with just one or two of these. Or eight.
2. Lime-A-Rita — Bud Light’s Take on Margarita
As gross as it may seem, I’ve heard first hand reports that Bud Light’sLime-A-Rita doesn’t taste that bad. And that, my friends, is another reason why this drink could be a party ender this Fourth of July.
In case you’re wondering what it is (or can’t tell from the photo), the Lime-A-Rita is Bud Light’s take on infusing the flavors of an ‘authentic margarita with a refreshing splash of Bud Light Lime.’
Since the drink doesn’t taste too bad, you’ve got everyone from your 22-year-old brother to your 82-year-old grandma to shotgunning these cans. But! (A big but, here) Since the drink resembles a beer taste and is carbonated, there’s a big chance drinkers will feel sick way before they feel drunk.
3. Kahlua Introduces Cans-To-Go
Kahlua tastes good. Kahlua also contains alcohol. When you put the delicious taste of Kahlua into a handheld can, casual, not-so-hardcore drinkers can get drunk pretty fast after they’ve realized how many cans they’ve gone through. Kudos to you, Kahlua, you’ve created a little monster. Kudos.
4. Really, Really Delicious Marshmallow and Whipped Cream-flavored Vodka
Knowing this from first hand reports in the office, SMIRNOFF Whipped Cream and Fluffed Marshmallow Flavored Vodka is delicious. Dangerously delicious, almost. The vodka tastes like a liquid cupcake, if you may. Even with the strongest taste buds, finding the taste of alcohol in this line of vodka is what deems it so deliciously evil.
Not too far back, we even dedicated a video that showcases a night out on the town with some of the FOODBEAST staff, with a little bit of SMIRNOFF pre-gaming action. See for yourselves just what I mean by dangerously evil and delicious:
On a final note, we at FOODBEAST want to make sure you’re all drinking safely and responsibly. Be careful if you’re driving on the Fourth of July, and be sure to have a designated driver if you decide to go out and drink.
It’s always nice to hear from Phusion Projects, the parent company of once-controversial flavored malt liquor Four Loko.
With the looming days of sumer, Phusion Projects has unleashed a XXX Limited Edition flavor, Strawberry Lemonade, alongside two new Four Loko flavors, Coco Loko and Peach.
The brand’s research into the spirits world led them to focus on coconut and peach as two of “the hottest flavors.” Whether their research will ring true long term remains to be seen, but the products are available now.
All three products are 12% ABV and come in 23.5-ounce cans. As with all Phusion Projects products post-controversy, the new flavors are malt beverages that do not contain any caffeine or stimulants.
Four Loko, the once controversial alcoholic energy drink is ready to stir the waters again on the biggest prank day of the year, April 1st. Through their social media channels, the brand has announced the launch of a Peanut Butter & Jelly flavor.
The attached press image contains the brand’s notable camouflage pattern in reds, pinks and cream, with two slices of bread slapped on either side of the can, held together by a respective slathering of peanut butter and jelly. Happy April Fools’ Day y’all:
It’s interesting to note that Smirnoff just underwent a very high profile release of of a “Fluffed Marshmallow Flavored Vodka,” marshmallow-flavored vodka is now in the public eye more than ever. There is no explicit information that ties the Smirnoff product with the following incident, but it’s certainly something to think about.
Chicago Sun Times has just reported on the arrest of a 19-year-old man who allegedly broke into two homes — fueled by none other than an unnamed marshmallow-flavored vodka. Information on the case includes a 2 a.m. 911 call from a homeowner who claimed she was awakened by a loud bang and witnessed a white male break into the back of her home.
The police later identified the man as Howard Brundage, a 19-year-old out of Riverside, Illinois. Earlier that night, police received another 911 call from a man who believed Brundage entered his house through a sliding glass door that had been unlocked.
Brundage was taken into custody after having been found at the scene, asleep on a couch, with his shoes off. Police reports mention that he did not know why he was in the home he was found in. Charges filed include residential burglary (felony), as well as criminal trespass to residence and criminal damage to property (misdemeanors).
The last thing he remembers was drinking marshmallow-flavored vodka.
As far as we know, marshmallow-flavored vodkas on the market don’t contain caffeine, and this particular incident can most likely be chalked up to someone who simply can’t handle their alcohol. But when your alcohol tastes this good, will we be seeing more and more people drinking more of this delicious liquid than they should?
The “Blackout in a Can” is under fire once again as external pressure from the Federal Trade Commission has prompted Phusion Projects to divulge the alcohol content of their Four Loko beverages relative to a regular 12 oz can of beer on each container. The FTC has accused Phusion Projects of misrepresenting the alcohol content of their drinks by stating each can being equivalent to 1 to 2 cans of beer rather than the true value of around 4 to 5 cans.
This isn’t the first time Phusion Projects has had to make concession due to external pressure from government regulators. After the backlash that occurred when a 15 year-old died after drinking 2 cans of Four Loko, and pressure from the Food and Drug Administration, Phusion Projects completely removed the caffeine content of their alcoholic beverages.
While Phusion Projects has admitted to no wrong-doing on their part, they have agreed to re-label their cans to better inform consumers.
Leave it to the Epic Meal Time guys to build a mess of a chili dish like the one pictured. Chunks of SPAM were diced into the shape of fries, thrown into a batter, deep fried, and further covered with a homemade chili with plenty of bacon to spare. If that weren’t gruesome enough, the boys lather on multiple layers of cheese sauce and moisten the entire dish with a pre-ban can of Four Loko. SPAM Four Loko Fries, are you on board?
In the summer time, strange things happen. It must be the heat…mixed with the stash of original recipe Four Loko alcoholic energy drinks we still have in our garage, but I feel like this recipe was one that was bound to happen — Four Loko Popsicles. Just as a preface, this is a terrible idea.
Four Loko‘s flavor profile was never its strong suit. In fact, one of the best ways of consuming the now banned substance was as quickly as possible, in order to get as drunk/wired as possible, without having to savor the taste for too long.
By turning it into a Popsicle, you are doing the opposite of what God intended — savoring the atrocious flavors of the drink. But with the recent appeal of alcoholic frozen treats like Vodka Popsicles and Watermelon Mojito Popsicles, we decided we’d give it a douchey-spin of our own, fittingly created from the original caffeine recipe and frozen in a blue party cup mold:
Everything was done scientifically [/ofcourseitwas]. Couple blue plastic party cups, tall metal spoons for handles, clear tape and your favorite (or available) flavor of Four Loko.
No — the tape wasn’t for added taste. It’s actually to hold the spoon in the center of the cup during the freezing period. Tape it down to the circumference of the cup’s opening. Unless you like to suck on popsicles at a weird angle. We won’t judge.
Put your popsicle cups in the freezer — preferably alongside frozen vegetables and bags of oversized pita bread. We then proceeded to let freeze overnight. You’ll want to find the coldest freezer and settings available, because although the alcohol content is freezable, it will take a bit of work for it to get past a slushy stage.