Step into the world of infomercials. A world where every human being is incapable of making an omelette and every ketchup bottle is a nuclear war waiting to happen.
It’s an undisputed fact that food fail infomercials are the best. Ever. It’s the only reason we stay up until 3 am. So we delved into the world of infomercials and picked the most hilarious scenarios of humans forgetting how to food.
Because no one really wants to buy an egg popsicle maker. We all just want to watch the world burn in flurry of tupperware and cellophane.
Now that’s how you eat a taco
Oh stove you so sexy. Let me slide my hand across your smooth titanium surface… fireFIREFIREFIREEEE
Sad desk lunch just got sadder.
JUST MAKE IT STOP
Four Wieners, One Spatula
The struggle is real
TIL that putting a lid on an overflowing container of chili does NOT work
It’s easy they said. Just give it a tap they said. Aim for the pan they said.
Damnit bobby, I’m tired of your shit!
Just a splash of milk…
Couldn’t you just set the soda on the floor so you don’t have to balance it on your knee? No? Too easy? Ok, then.
Not again mom! This is why we can’t have nice things.
Why is this blunt doorstop not slicing my bread?!!?!
Dear Sandwich, You are THE WORST
Let me just grab the salt real quick ARGGHHHHNOTTHEFACE
People never learn.
Let me just smash this spoon against my face.
This face will haunt your nightmares.
First world problems: We’ve all got ’em, and they’re pretty much unavoidable when you live in ‘Murica. But the worst kind? First world food problems. Imagine you’re craving a delicious PB&J, and you come to find out only the bread butts are left. Terrible situation? Yes. What about getting a cracked corn dog? Totally rude.
These issues receive a huge no thank you in our books, so here’s to #firstworldfoodproblems!
17. Ughhh Worst Cookie + Milk Situation, Ever
16. Being left with just the butts.
15. When pudding lids don’t cooperate.
14. Even Worse: Outta Control Yogurt Lids.
13. And then there’s THIS. UNACCEPTABLE.
12. What are we supposed to do, lap up overflowing soda with our tongues? (Yes.)
11. Why don’t they invent more accommodating fridges? #champagnesadness
9. This is why we can’t have nice things.
Picthx Little Panda Bear
8. Just threw up in our mouths a little.
7. This should be illegal.
6. It’s like staring into a watery pool of hopelessness.
4. We want a refund.
3. Soggy Cereal. Nuff’ Said.
2. You’re Ruined, Taco. RUINED.
1. Oh no! Too. Much. Awesome.
I get it. I do. Sometimes, the standard teddy-bear-holding-a-chocolate-rose thing gets boring. Even I get tired of champagne sometimes. You wanna spice up your Valentine’s Day. Completely understandable. That’s fine. We have Pinterest now, and I’m sure they can offer hundreds of unique ideas, okay, guys? It’ll be okay. You don’t have to revert to any of these things. In fact, please don’t. Ladies, if you’re reading this and you wanted fly juice, I’m sorry. Write me — we’ll fix things.
1. Heart-Boiled Eggs (Get it?)
These are cute . . . for breakfast. But giving anyone a hard boiled egg for anything ever is just . . . no.
H/T + PicThx Instructubles
2. Raw Beef Bouquet
“Carpaccio!” she’ll say if she’s a foodie. “What the hell?” she’ll say if she isn’t. Or if she’s normal.
H/T + PicThx Gizmodo
3. Lover’s Chips
Even if these potato chips are heart-shaped, lemon pepper and “sugar butter”? What is that?
4. Heart-Shaped Frying Pan
Cute! Until you make her use it.
H/T + PicThx Homes and Bargains
5. Spanish Fly Juice
It’s an aphrodisiac, and it’s exactly what it sounds like. Apparently, it can also cause “itchy genitalia,” fever, seizures, and oh yeah, death. Happy Valentine’s Day, honey!
H/T + PicThx Bizarre Food
6. Pizza Box Proposal
Popping the question is one thing. Popping the question with a $10,000 pizza? Maybe not.
H/T + PicThx izismile
7. Anatomically Correct Jell-O Heart
Maybe if you guys met in a bio lab?
H/T + PicThx GeekAlerts
8. Beef Jerky Underwear, AKA “Brief Jerky”
If I have to tell you what’s wrong here, it might be too late to save your V-Day.
H/T + PicThx Technabob
9. Candy Nipple Tassels
Hint: Don’t ever combine those three words ever.
H/T + PicThx ShadePlus
10. Penis Pop
. . . no comment.
H/T + PicThx PartyPops
Header PicThx Pingapore