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FOODBEAST Hit-Or-Miss Humor Opinion

Here’s What Ya’ll Said About Costco Tinder Dates And Hot Cheetos Waffle Cones [Feedback Oct. 28]

Welcome to another edition of our weekly Foodbeast “Feedback,” where we feature your Facebook comments, and respond directly to your views on our recipes, videos, and stories.

In a wild 7 days, full of some crazy food news stories, you guys provided some worthy comments, per usual.

This week Shaquille O’Neal bought himself a Kripy Kreme franchise, someone made a Hot Cheetos waffle cone, and we found out that Costco dates are totally awesome.

You guys responded to those stories through Facebook, and now it’s our turn to respond back.

We always appreciate that you read our posts, and take the time to add your own commentary.

Here’s what made the cut this week. Think you can make next week’s list?


 

pumpkin-stuck

STORY:Girl Tries To Prove Her Head Fits In A Pumpkin, Doesn’t End Well

Dude, her head is in there. You can’t just smash the shit out of it with hammer, Gallagher-style. Fire department would have been a good call, unless they end up just smashing the shit out of it with a hammer.



shaq-krispy-kreme

Story:Shaq Loved Krispy Kreme So Much, He Bought His Own Franchise

I just peeped your profile to talk shit, Robbie. It looks like you’re an indie wrestler, and looking at your matches on YouTube, I’ll admit you’ve got some hops. Maybe you can actually dunk on Shaq.


hot cheetos cone

Story: Dude Makes A Hot Cheetos Waffle Cone And Stuffs It With Mac & Cheese
Holy shit, dude. It’s just cheetos and mac & cheese, why the hell would it give me cancer. I guarantee it’s not the same as drinking drain cleaner. Don’t tell me how I know, just trust me.


STORY:Josh Elkin’s ‘Pizza Pong’ Table Is The Newest PBR Challenge Invention

Getting high as f*ck and eating the table after is the only way to play this, really. You’ve got the right idea.


taco-bell-steal-a-base-cover

Story:Taco Bell Is Giving Everyone A FREE Taco On Nov. 2

There is something about Taco Bell that makes me spend quality time with my toilet. Fair enough, plumbers just might have their hands full after the World Series.


costco

Story:5 Reasons to Take Your Tinder Date to Costco

SAVAGE. You might be on to something, though. I’m going to take a date to Costco, see what happens. Guys need to step their game up.


playground-mcds_fotor

Story: 13 Of The Strangest Things Seen In A McDonald’s PlayPlace

I’m sorry you had to go through that. I hope that turd wasn’t in the ball pit. I can only imagine it’d plop out when you’d least expect it, just making your day shitty.

Categories
#foodbeast Feedback Humor

This Customer Got Punched In The Face, Here’s How YOU Reacted [Feedback Oct. 2]

Welcome to another edition of our weekly Foodbeast “Feedback,” where we feature your Facebook comments, and respond directly to your views on our recipes and stories.

The week was wild, and full of some crazy food news stories, and your comments were just as crazy, per usual.

We saw taco trucks in Las Vegas build a wall around Donald Trump’s hotel, a guy drink cyanide without dying, and even a customer get decked in the face for spotting on a food vendor’s grill.

You guys responded to those stories through Facebook, and now it’s our turn to respond back.

We always appreciate that you read our posts, and take the time to add your own commentary.

Here’s what made the cut this week. Think you can make next week’s list?


 

trump-tower

STORY:Taco Trucks Form A Delicious Wall Outside Trump’s Hotel in Las Vegas

It is possible, but not probable that they gave Trump’s hotel more business. Unless they fed people so many tacos that they got the Itis, and were forced to spend the night at the hotel, it probably didn’t spike the hotel’s patronage. Plus, the Trump International is so far from the heart of the strip, it’s hardly worth staying there, anyway.


Story: How To Make A Giant Cake-Sized Pop Tart

I did notice that our boy @blake_201 was shirtless. He’s actually shirtless a lot and it makes me feel sexually confused, kind of. If I was that shredded, I’d probably be shirtless all the time, too. Especially in the Foodbeast office.


Story: This Food Blogger Just Created Edible Pizza Shot Glasses

Ah, the microwaved pizza dilemma of burning the shit out of your mouth. Yeah, there’s no doubt in my mind that these pizza shot glasses will do the same, even if you let them cool down. There’s something in the frozen pizza’s chemistry that automatically burns you, regardless of what you do. Probably.


fds

STORY: Watch This Guy Purposely Drink Cyanide In The Name Of Science

That’s exactly the face I made, when I saw him chug that cyanide water. Thankfully , he was all right, but damn.


Story: This Hot Sauce-Filled Shot Made A Guy Crawl In Agony And Quit This Show

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Sean is not a pussy! A terrible human being, maybe, but not a pussy. Plus this shot looked brutal. I’d love to bet that y’all would cringe after taking that shot.


Story: Justin Bieber’s Used Glass Of Milk Is Currently Selling For $70K On eBay

To this day, I would eat Britney Spears’s anything.


punch-hot-dog-vendor

Story:Watch This Guy Get Punched Out After Spitting On A Vendor’s Food

Yeah, the guy didn’t know what hit him. That’s what he gets for being a dick. He’s lucky he didn’t end up on the floor like Pacquiao.

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#foodbeast Hit-Or-Miss

Feedback: Top User Comments Of The Week [Oct. 7]

Welcome to another edition of our weekly Foodbeast “Feedback,” where we feature your Facebook comments, and respond directly to your views on our recipes and stories.

The week was wild, and full of some crazy food stories, and your comments were just as crazy, per usual.

We saw a guy’s questionable move to smoke the world’s hottest pepper out of a bong, and even some cool horror-themed Happy Meal concepts. You guys responded to our stories through Facebook, and now it’s our turn to respond back.

We always appreciate that you read our posts, and take the time to add your own commentary.

Here’s what made the cut this week. Think you can make next week’s list?


 


ahs-st

STORY:McDonald’s ‘Horror Happy Meal’ Concepts Would Scare The Crap Out Of Children

I’d like to think that McDonald’s isn’t as scary as you make it out to be. I can’t be certain, but I want to believe I haven’t been eating anything sketchy at the Golden Arches. Fingers crossed. I’m putting my trust in them. In my heart of hearts. Yeah, I’ll just leave it at that.


whisky-pocky-cover

Story: Whisky-Flavored Pocky Sticks Are The Latest Snacks From Japan

We hadn’t thought of Bill Murray, but that’s a nice Lost in Translation reference that we missed out on. Bill Murray should have shot the ad for their Whisky Pocky, but there’s a chance he’d get yelled at by the Japanese director.


taco-bell-location

Story: Taco Bell Has Low Key Become One of America’s Healthiest Fast Food Chains

That’s a good question, Jamerson. If I were to take a guess, I’d say people might be sensitive to the hot sauce, which could ring true for anything. I doubt our stomachs care too much for being doused in a fiery liquid. I don’t know. Just a guess, but now I want to find out for sure.


diy-spiceist-hot-cheetos

STORY: Watch These Guys Throw The World’s Hottest Peppers On Hot Cheetos And Eat Them

“Dumb asses way too much hotness.”

I say the same thing when trying to watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians.


carolinareaperbong

Story: This Is What Happens When You Smoke The World’s Hottest Pepper

I’m 74 percent sure this comment has some copypasta to it, but still rings true. This guy has to be the dumbest person of the week. At least he didn’t chop up the pepper and snort it.



brawl-chuck

Story:Watch These Families Start A Massive Brawl At A Chuck E. Cheese’s

Hopefully none of the Chuck E. Cheese’s workers tried to stop the brawl, because they really don’t get paid enough to be peacekeepers. Their best move was probably just to call the police and watch the madness, hoping they don’t have too much to clean after.



ketchup_sandwich

Story:Here Are Some Of The Weird Things Starving College Kids Eat And Rarely Enjoy

Like the great DJ Khaled would say, “You smart. You very smart.” Solid strategy for staying away from these college struggle plates.

Categories
#foodbeast News

Feedback: Top User Comments Of The Week [Sept. 30]

Welcome to another edition of our weekly Foodbeast “Feedback,” where we feature your Facebook comments, and respond directly to your views on our recipes and stories.

The week was wild, and full of some crazy food stories, and your comments were just as crazy, per usual.

We saw 2 Chainz drink expensive cat poop coffee and watched Daym Drops lose his shit over Pizza Hut’s “nasty” grilled cheese crust. You guys responded to our stories through Facebook, and now it’s our turn to respond back.

We always appreciate that you read our posts, and take the time to add your own commentary.

Here’s what made the cut this week. Think you can make next week’s list?


 


STORY:This Is The Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Corn On The Cob You Need In Your Life

Booty Squirts sounds like it could be Young Thugs next album name, but it’s not something I think I want to experience in the bathroom. The way you paint this experience is very Shakespearean. “Red Cheeto Ass Water” really drives home the point.

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butcher-skills-02
Story: Watch This Butcher Cut Whole Lambs With Robotic Precision

That’s part of his magic and skill. Any normal man would have lost every single one of his fingers.



paqui-reaper

Story: All It Takes Is One Bite To Be Defeated By The World’s Hottest Chip

Damn, bro, that’s SAVAGE! If you do ever pull this off, Please film it and send it to us. We’d love to see your friends writhe in agony as the fiery chips clog their innocent throats.


giraffe-manor

STORY: Eat Breakfast With Giraffes At This Unique Hotel/

Come on, Fernando. You can’t tell me it wouldn’t be cute AF to eat breakfast with a giraffe. Sure, it’s “big head” might be a little intrusive, but it’s a freakin’ giraffe!!! You have to take this experience 100 out of 100 times.


arnold-palmero
Story: How Arnold Palmer Awkwardly Ordered Arnold Palmer Drinks

Bruh. Bruh. Bruh. The man was a legend. Find something else to stick your dick out for.


screen-shot-2016-09-28-at-5-50-06-pm
Story:2 Chainz Drinks A $100 Cup Of Coffee Made From Cat Poop [WATCH]

I wish it was a mistake. I really do. 2 Chainz looks like he’s down to eat anything, but cat poop coffee sounds like a big fat, ‘No’ for me.


daym-grilled-cheese-pizza
Story: Daym Drops Literally Shook In Anger After Trying Pizza Hut’s Grilled Cheese Crust

I haven’t tried this pizza, and I’ve never hated Pizza Hut that much, but I think we can all agree that the product should be of high quality. I don’t know if it’s dollar store quality at the moment, but if Daym’s right, I might just start saving my money.

Categories
#foodbeast Features News

Feedback: Top User Comments Of The Week [Sept. 23]

Welcome to another edition of our weekly Foodbeast “Feedback,” where we feature your Facebook comments, and respond directly to your views on our recipes and stories.

The week was wild, and full of some crazy food stories, and your comments were just as crazy, per usual.

We saw Popeyes frying rats, people petitioning for In-N-Out to go vegetarian, and news on the world’s hottest tortilla chip coming soon. You guys responded to our stories through Facebook, and now it’s our turn to respond back.

We always appreciate that you read our posts, and take the time to add your own commentary.

Here’s what made the cut this week. Think you can make next week’s list?


 


sushi-ns-cover

STORY: How Two Idiots Accidentally Spent $1,100 On Sushi

Way to stay on your toes, bro. If Jesus ever tries selling you $1,100 wine, it’s probably a scam, and it’s probably not Jesus. Well, his name might be Jesus, but the real Jesus Christ would hand it out for free, or something.

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Video: Deep Fried Pizza Wrapped Corn Dog

That is a very random song to lose sleep over, especially since we picked it at random from a free music website, but we can confirm that it is a covered version of Funiculi, Funicula. Hopefully this saved you the months of agony you and your wife have been dealing with.



paqui-reaper

Story: All It Takes Is One Bite To Be Defeated By The World’s Hottest Chip

Damn, bro, that’s SAVAGE! If you do ever pull this off, Please film it and send it to us. We’d love to see your friends writhe in agony as the fiery chips clog their innocent throats.


in-n-out-burger-stk-003

STORY: Petition For In-N-Out Veggie Burgers Now Has Thousands Of Signatures/

I didn’t even think about that. The In-N-Out lines are long enough without vegetarians clogging them up. I hope this petition burns in hell.




Video: JEFF’S TABLE: Chocolate Milk Is Liquid Luxury

We’re happy we could help your “stoned ass” remember the chocolate milk in your fridge. If this video helped change one life, it was all worth it.


popeyes_rat
Story: Rat’s Head Claimed To Have Been Found In Popeyes Chicken Order

I’m always down for a two piece and a biscuit, but I might have to pass on this one. Well, I might still get the biscuit, but I’ll skip the rat.



bug-zap-subway
Story: Woman Flips Out At Subway Because They Ran Out Of Meatballs [WATCH]

This woman swore they made the meatballs fresh, on-the-spot. She should have just taken the “L” and let that long ass line behind her start ordering. Quit your filibustering.

Categories
#foodbeast FOODBEAST Hit-Or-Miss News

Feedback: Top User Comments Of The Week [Sept. 16]

Welcome to another edition of our weekly Foodbeast “Feedback,” where we feature your Facebook comments, and respond directly to your views on our recipes and stories.

We saw some interesting things in the food world this week, as y’all gave your two cents on our stories this week, like a girl who ate ant-covered chips, thinking it was pepper.

Apparently there’s some anger toward our Gordon Ramsay coverage, as well.

Regardless of what you say, good or bad, we appreciate that you read our stories and take the time to add your own commentary on the web.

Here’s what made the cut this week. Think you can make next week’s list?

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Gordon-Ramsay-Banana-Pancakes
STORY: Gordon Ramsay Teaches Us How To Make Pancakes  

As my colleague Reach Guinto would say, “Gordon Ramsay is the Gawd!” It’s not all of a sudden, as Gordon has always been one of our favorite subjects to write about, and as long as he keeps being the bad-ass, shit-talking chef that he is, we will continue to write about him.

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jerkybot
Story: This Drone is Designed To Follow You With Jerky

Thankfully the drone isn’t activated by the smell of jerky, so in theory, you could put bacon on top if you wanted to. Heck we could employ it with both beef jerky AND bacon. This thing needs to come out ASAP (drools).

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VIDEO:Jeff’s Table: Behold the Simple Elegance of Eggo Waffles

Those first few seconds of melted, buttery goodness are everything. Jeff’s Table is one hell of a table, and we share your feelings.
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STORY: This Shot Is The Result Of You Being A Jerk to The Bartender

We have to agree. Bartenders have so much control over your night. They are like puppeteers who can let you have a great night, or a terrible one. Don’t piss them off, they don’t deserve it, really.
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14387857_1473459014-142
STORY: Over $200K Was Donated To This 89-Year-Old Popsicle Vendor For His Daughter’s Funeral

It was beautiful to see people come together and help this 90-year-old man. We can’t hear enough stories like this.
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mcdburgerpizza
Story:Madman Makes A McDonald’s Cheeseburger-Stuffed Deep Dish Pizza

We’re going to have to respectfully disagree. There is absolutely an exact amount of weed that would make this seem appealing. We might just have to experiment and find out exactly what that amount is, then get back to you.
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ant-chips
Story: Woman Accidentally Eats Potato Chips Covered In Dead Ants Thinking They Were Black Pepper

Why the hell are so many of you accidentally eating ants? My trust issues are climbing. I’m going to question everything I eat from now on.

Categories
#foodbeast Hit-Or-Miss

Feedback: The Top User Comments Of The Week [Sept. 9]

Welcome back to our Foodbeast “Feedback” series! This week you had us ROFL from the comments you left on our Facebook page. To reward our awesome readers — and commenters — we’re showcasing this week’s top picks!

Y’all lost your mind when it came to the McChicken lover last week. This week, some of you were upset at people expressing hate for Chipotle, and others were super-hyped about Durex’s eggplant flavored condoms.

We appreciate that you read our stories and leave us your advice, opinions, and some of the most savage commentary on the web.

Here’s what made the cut this week. Think you can make next week’s list?
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Chipotle-Ext-Stk-021

STORY: Former Chipotle Fans Share The Exact Moment They Started Hating It  

Wherever this so-called “snarky Internet” is located, please show me the way! I’ll just be with the other non-Internet bloggers.

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FreakEating

Story: Watch This Guy Set The World Record For Most McNuggets Eaten

This was an awesome challenge to watch. However, those of you that said you wanted to try it, we advise leaving this challenge to the professionals.
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PumpkinSpiceLatte

STORY: Restaurants Ring In Pumpkin Spice Season With Their Newest Offerings

I guess some people aren’t down with Pumpkin spice. Who knew? To each their own.
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Story: Couple Arrested For Performing A ‘Hand Job’ In A Crowded Mexican Restaurant [WATCH]

Thanks for reminding us it’s important to always use the correct terminology when discussing lewd public acts.
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forksup

Facebook LiveStream: K-Town Spicy Challenge

We love when viewers tune in to watch our live events. It’s even better when they cheer us on in honor of one of our heroes, Harambe.

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Story: Durex Trolls Everyone With Eggplant-Flavored Condoms Nobody Asked For

You would think Durex would have picked more enticing flavors, but these are pretty good suggestions.

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danny-whopper

Story: Danny Trejo Says Burger King’s Whopperrito Isn’t Helping Obesity

I can’t tell if this dude’s a fan of the Whopperrito or Danny Trejo. Maybe both.

Categories
#foodbeast Features

Feedback: The Top User Comments Of The Week

Welcome back to our Foodbeast “Feedback” series, where we look for your best Facebook comments and acknowledged the fantastic commentary y’all added to the posts we throw up.

Last week, readers had no mercy on this Drake look-a-like and Domino’s drone testing. This week y’all spoke your mind on a McChicken molester, and a poor guy who couldn’t handle the world’s spiciest ramen.

You guys continue to prove your depth of wit and savagery, and we appreciate that you read our stories and give us your two cents.

Now without further ado, here are the best user comments of the week:
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“Well, that went exactly like I thought it would. Brb gonna go pour bleach in my eyes.” -Miss Bea Haven

CrAG6L-WAAAhDUN

STORY: Chicken Lover Tweeted Himself Having Sex With A McChicken

Same. Totally wish I hadn’t seen that video. The image is forever penetrated into my head. Ah! Totally regret that last sentence.

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“In a world filled with kale smoothies, cricket hamburgers, vegetarian bacon, tofu chicken, cauliflower pizza and vegans waiting around every corner to shove lettuce down your throat, I am glad to know that arby’s got my back.” -Maxime Raats

Arbys-Buttermilk-Fried-Chicken

Story: Arby’s Just Added Buttermilk Chicken Sandwich Options To Their Menu

Never thought about it that way. Shout out to Arby’s for always keeping things meaty.
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“Wait till it comes out the other end” – Justin Gresham

Screen Shot 2016-08-29 at 10.58.14 AM
STORY: Watch This Dude Freak Out After Eating World’s Spiciest ‘Death’ Ramen

We can only imagine the Satanic penetration the poor man had to endure from his fiery backside.
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” I would drink this, and I would smear it all over my face, then chase you around trying to wipe it on you and blame it on the sugar rush. You have been warned.” -Pamela Wright


VIDEO: Harry Potter Butterbeer Recipe

Pamela didn’t tag anyone, so I guess she was talking directly to us. Bring it. Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve been chased by drunk weirdos.
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“Well now I am convinced he was lit when he spoke on stage.” – Alexandra Koeberer-Manti

henny-slush
Story: Kanye Has Henny And Grey Goose Lemonade Slushie Machines Backstage

It’s hard to understand Kanye’s commentary, as his mind is operating at a different level than most others, but I doubt Henny Slushes are the culprit. Steve Jobs was often hard to understand, as well as Walt Disney. It’s the curse of being a genius.

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“As someone who has had their food stolen by someone at the McDs drive thru, with a car full of hungry kids, I really hope this guy burns in the hottest part of hell.” – Jessica Hulett

mcd-free
STORY:This Shady McDonald’s Hack Lets You Get A Free Meal At The Drive-Thru

We feel you, Jess. This dude’s a major scumbag, and whoever stole your food is even scummier.
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“That’s an insult to real innovative Chef boy R G’s in the Chain gang.
Even I can make a better cake than that with a Klondike bar on the top & sing U happy bday.” – Ramiro King Rios

correctional-cake

VIDEO: How To Make A Chocolate Cake Like a Prisoner

We tried our best. No disrespect to the homies in the yard. We can appreciate that you’d sing for us, though.
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“He’s wearing more than 2 chains???? WTF?! Im so confused now.” -Mike Pappas

2 Chains_popcorn

STORY:Watch 2Chainz Eat $500 Popcorn

Oh, damn, totally didn’t notice that! This is why I have trust issues. If 2Chainz can’t even keep things honest, who the hell can we trust!?

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