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Celebrating Fourth of July: Expectations vs. Reality

smores

Independence Day in America is one of those rare holidays that doesn’t seem to exist just to make people buy things. Sure, you’ve got all the fireworks kiosks. And yes, they don’t just give away all that patriotic tablewear and those hot dogs and grilling utensils for free. But mostly it’s about eating well, sitting back and enjoying each other’s company. Except when it’s about burning in the summer sun. Or suffering from food poisoning. Or being too hungover to work because this stupid holiday just had to fall on a weekday.

Ah well, at least we have the freedom to gripe about it together. ‘MURICA.

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Expectation: Throwing a cool, outdoor barbecue in the shade

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Picthx: Pinterest

Reality: Just stepping outside feels like burning

Alternative: Having it at the beach and being gloomy as f@#k

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Expectation: Having time to make lots of cute, USA-themed snacks

Picthx: Apollinas

Reality: Barely having enough time to buy groceries

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Expectation: Enjoying a nice, stress-free potluck with friends and family

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Picthx: Chella’s Common Cents

Reality: No one brings anything but booze and utensils, forcing you to whip up something last minute

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Expectation: Sticking to your summer diet

Reality: Parking your butt at the dessert table

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Expectation: Lighting the grill on the first try

Reality: UGH WHY MUST YOU BE SO DIFFICULT?!

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Expectation: Finally getting to nom on all the delicious grilled grub

Reality: Waiting. Lots of waiting. Probably some food poisoning when you get tired of waiting.

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Expectation: Washing everything down with a sweet, cool, delicious ice cream

Reality: Staring at a great big puddle of melted cow tears

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Expectation: It’s a classy summer party, time to break out the sparkling whites and rosés‎!

Reality: PBR for days

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Expectation: Toasting the perfect s’more

Reality: Ending up with a pile of burnt messy goop

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Can you even call those s’mores anymore?

Picthx: Chocolate Moosey

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Expectations: Kicking off the night with beautiful fireworks

Reality: Too cloudy to see ANYTHING

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Expectations: Being totally able to function at work tomorrow

Reality:

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Expectations: Spending the day filled with the love of your country

Reality: ‘MURICA F@#K YEAHHH”

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Happy 4th of July everybody!

H/T Giphy