Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Charles Darwin Ate Every Animal He Ever Discovered

(c) Christ's College, University of Cambridge; Supplied by The Public Catalogue Foundation

Photo: (c) Christ’s College, University of Cambridge; Supplied by The Public Catalogue Foundation

“The Father of Evolution” had a taste for iguanas, armadillos, and 20-pound rodents

Charles Darwin is most famous for his work as a naturalist, developing a theory of evolution to explain biological change. A less well-known fact about the 19th-century scientific explorer is that he had an equally adventurous palate. He eagerly ate many of his specimens—including iguanas, armadillos, and rheas.

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Darwin developed his exotic appetite at a young age. During his student days at Christ’s College, Cambridge, he presided over the University’s Glutton Club. The main objective of the club was to seek out “strange flesh” and consume the “birds and beasts which were before unknown to human palate.”

The Christ’s College website summarizes Darwin’s salad days at the University:

“Although Darwin eventually did quite well in his final exams, most of his three years was spent eating exotic meats with his Glutton Club, drinking a bit too much, riding his horse, and of course collecting beetles.”

The club was, by all accounts, a smashing success. Sadly for Darwin, the epicurean society came to a screeching halt when a particularly stringy brown owl was presented for supper. According to The Guardian, the club’s members decided to “concentrate their studies on the effects of the port accompanying their meat instead.”

The “Father of Evolution” went on to have many more culinary adventures aboard the HMS Beagle, “where he was willingly fed armadillos, which ‘taste & look like duck’, and an unnamed, 20-pound chocolate-colored rodent which, he announced, was ‘the best meat I ever tasted.’”

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His only culinary faux pas occurred in December 1833, at Port Desire, when the ship’s artist procured a rhea (a large flightless bird indigenous to Altiplano and Patagonia in South America) for Christmas dinner. Darwin writes in his notes that he suddenly realized he was eating an extremely rare Avestruz petise. He immediately jumped up from the table and tried to rescue the remains of the unfortunate avian victim. He managed to salvage “the head and neck, the legs, and many of the larger feathers.”

Written by Julia Mason of HistoryBuff || Feature Image via Fiona Macpherson

Categories
Humor

Important: This is How Pokémon Eat Their Food

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At least, the PG-version. Because we all know Pokémon are secretly cannibals.

Two weeks ago, awkward-comedy (awk-com?) mastermind Mister Epic Mann brought us the ever-useful series of demonstrations of how to eat like different animals, and it didn’t take the internet long to spawn its inevitable parodies. The winner for the most important, most educational one of the bunch, however, has to go to this darling here, entitled, “How Animals Eat Their Food (POKEMON VERSION).”

Not only do you learn how Blastoise likes to hydro-pump his veggies before smashing his face into them, but you also get a little primer on the differences between each evolution. For instance, did you know that Charmander’s flame attack versus a salad-type is about as strong as a matchstick, but Charizard’s flamethrower breath is super-effective? Don’t even get me started on Snorlax.

Peep the whole video for yourself below, and then remember that “normal” animals don’t exist in the Poké-world, so where do they get their burger meat?

H/T + PicThx Laughing Squid

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

M&M’s Darwinism: Why the Blue Ones Are Inferior

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I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one to sort my M&Ms into piles according to color (candy segregation is not cool, folks) when I was younger, working backwards from orange to green so I could save my favorite for last. Of course, none of this had any real bearing on the candy. The color of the shell, I have since learned, doesn’t really affect the taste of the M&M. I was just a little OCD.

This kid, however, Facebook user Luke Something, has the right idea. He understands it’s not the color of the shell, but the strength. I eagerly await the day when a superior breed of M&M becomes our chocolate-flavored overlord, even if it is an orange one. Though apparently, it’s probably going to be brown or red. So.

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H/T + PicThx Facebook

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

This Gingerbread Trailer Is Just Another Sign That We’re Evolving

Question: How can you tell we (Americans, Internet users, people who eat food, whatever) are evolving?

Answer: Someone built a trailer out of gingerbread. A glorious lil’ thing we stumbled upon thanks to Miss Rachel Jones of Black Eiffel.

Were you thinking I’d say something lame like ‘science’? Well, you’re wrong.

You see, times have changed. Gingerbread houses just aren’t good enough anymore. What with gingerbread construction competitions going on all over the freakin’ nation, what once seemed the star atop the proverbial Christmas tree (except the actual star/angel/PC ornament of choice) has now become banal. Your gingerbread house has to be 20 feet tall and gourmet if you want it to mean anything.

Unless, of course, you don’t build a house. Branch out! Break down the cookie-cutter walls. Be your own person! Try a gingerbread trailer! Or a gingerbread laptop! In fact, were we, Americans/Internet users/food consumers, ever meant to build houses exclusively? Gingerbread and frosting are more than the much tastier brick and mortar of the food world. The possibilities are endless! You are bound only by your own imagination!

And now that you’ve been inspired by this impassioned plea, go forth, Amer-inet foodies. Go forth and create.

via Black Eiffel

Categories
Restaurants

Starbucks Opens Juice Bar, Misspells “Vegetables”

The caffeine dispensing behemoth known only as “Starbucks” reminds us that they too are capable of the occasional goof-up every once in a while. While promoting their new, first ever, Evolution Juice Bar, the sign reads “Most fruits and vegatables [sic] are: fat and cholesterol free.”

In an effort to offer an all-natural choice for customers, Starbucks has branched out in their largest, non-coffee related venture. The Evolution Juice Bar, created after the coffee company purchased Evolution Fresh Inc. for $30 million last November. Along with juices and smoothies, the coffee chain will serve wraps, salads, and soups. They will also be offering vegetarian and vegan options on their menu.

Photo: LA Times