Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

This Elephant Dung Beer Serves Some Intense Butt-Brewing Action

unko2

The only thing better than a $50 cup of elephant dung coffee is an even pricier glass of elephant dung beer. Because alcohol improves everything, right?

That’s the idea behind the Thailand specialty brew  Un, Kono Kuro, a dark stout that uses Thailand’s infamous elephant-processed coffee beans as a base for some really intense butt-brewing action. It works like this: workers at a Thai elephant sanctuary feed their elephants a crapload of coffee beans. Then the beans sit around in the elephants’ digestive system for awhile, absorbing all sorts of secondary flavors like banana and sugar cane (and, you know, elephant sh**) before being pooped out in giant caffeinated piles. Then really unlucky specially trained workers hand-pick the coffee beans out of the elephant dung, the beans get made into coffee, and the coffee gets made into beer. Then you drink it.

According to the brave folks over at RocketNews 24, the beer has “an initial bitterness […] washed over by a wave of sweetness,” which sounds pretty decent for a dark stout. We were almost sold until the reviewer started describing what he called ‘the afterglow’ by saying, “for some time after I could still feel as if my body was saturated with that warm scent.” Yeah. Any beer that saturates our body with the warm scent of elephant dung is probably not for us, but props to the brave folks who enjoy it (and to the elephant sanctuary that earns a profit on every butt-processed bean). We raise our glasses to you.

H/T + PicThx RocketNews24

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Here’s the World’s Most Expensive Cup of Coffee, Straight from an Elephant’s Butt

How would you like your coffee this morning: decaf or defecated?

Believe it or not, this may very well be a real question being asked of guests at Thailand’s luxury Anantara hotels, whose line of “$68 per servingBlack Ivory Coffee is brewed from beans which have literally been hand-picked out of elephant dung.

According to the resort’s release, “Research indicates that during digestion, the enzymes of the elephant break down coffee protein. Since protein is one of  the main factors responsible for bitterness in coffee, less protein means almost no bitterness.”

The whole poop-to-platter process goes like this: first the elephants, which live at the group’s elephant camp in Chiang Rai, are fed premium Thai Arabica cherries. Then, after trekking through the elephant’s long digestive track, the resulting protein and bitter-free beans are handpicked out, left to dry and finally, sent to the camp’s processing center for refinement and delivery to any of the group’s four Maldive or one Golden Triangle Thailand locations.

According to one CNN GO commenter Garrett, the resulting brew’s taste “was really pleasant and unexpected” and contained palpable hints of chocolate, nuts and red berries. It was also “one of the first” cups he could drink black.

Guests who order this stuff will also get the added luxury of having their coffee beans hand ground and brewed at the table, but come on–who wouldn’t want their very own cup of magically delicious elephant droppings? And eight percent of proceeds goes back to the Golden Triangle Asian Elephant Foundation?

Shut up and take my money.