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14 Food Delivery Tales That Are Weird, Terrifying, And Downright Disgusting

Once a former pizza deliver boy, I know there can be some pretty weird experiences while dropping off food to customers late into the night.

A recent question was posted on Reddit, asking food delivery people what were some of the weirdest deliveries they’ve ever had to make. Some of these tales are odd, others hilarious, and some are downright terrifying.

You can check out the highlights from the thread below. As with everything else found on Reddit, be sure to take these stories with a grain of salt.

Enjoy, and make sure to tip your food deliverers appropriately!


“Willis is in the dog food again!”

Pulled up to this easily $1.5-2 million house. Lady opens the door and as she’s signing the receipt I hear, “Bethany! Willis is in the dog food again!” This is deep in Louisiana, so this is all in a typical Southern drawl. I look behind her and see a man chasing a full grown pot-belly pig wearing an LSU jersey away from what I assume is the dog food area.

Willis returned to the area shortly after.


Amish family dinner

Delivered 30 pizzas to an Amish family. About a 35 minute drive. The entire family met me outside to grab a pizza. I took the rest in and followed them inside to their dining table. The elder of the family gestured to me to sit down with them and he pointed to the one open seat. I realized that they saved me a seat to eat with them.

I didn’t know too much about the Amish back then, and I wasn’t sure how rude it would be to say that in working and couldn’t/shouldn’t. I was also thinking on the other hand they could have killed me (remember I wasn’t an educated 16 year old). So I sat down and ate two slices of pepperoni pizza with them. I found the girl across the table to be very attractive. They said a prayer of some sort and didn’t talk much after that. Just asked my name and how thankful they were for me to drive all that way. I finally had to get back to work. They didn’t tip, which was fine.

I enjoyed the time with them.


Undies

Mid to late 50-year-old man comes to the door in an opened towel robe wearing Spider-Man undies.

I was a Chinese food delivery girl back in high school.

This gentleman opened the door very casually and honestly, I didn’t think much of his undies.

What was really funny was from the other room I hear what I assumed to be his wife call out, “Is that Chinese or Pizza? Did I win?!”

The man saw the white plastic bag and sighed. “You won!”

As he was closing the door after giving a generous tip all I could hear was a celebratory woooh from the woman.


The baddest of the bunch

I once delivered pizza to what seemed like a gang house. I pulled up and there are all these intimidating dudes with tattoos and bandanas all wearing the same colored clothes. I puckered up and felt my scrotum shrivel as I awkwardly shuffled past them with a bunch of pizzas to ring the doorbell.

They were all staring me down and it felt like the longest walk ever.

The person who ordered the pizza must have been the head honcho because he looked like the baddest of the bunch. The total was like $70 and he gave me a $100 bill and told me to keep the change.

I bolted out of there and returned back to the pizza place on autopilot because I was so scared.


Not one to ruin a good time…

I delivered pizza to a house, the instructions said to open the gate and go into the backyard and knock on the back door. Now, I was really early. I showed up at their door probably about 12-15 minutes after they had placed the order as we were very slow. As I entered the backyard, I heard really loud moaning coming from the open window and realized the customers were having sex.

I’m not the one to ruin a good time, so I decided to wait until they finished before I knocked on the door. I just stood there in their backyard with a pizza in my hand for a good 10 minutes. One of their neighbors heard what was going on and saw me in there and decided to pop outside and just stand there staring at me the whole time making sure that I’m not stealing anything.

Anyway, most awkward 10 minutes of my life.


The splash zone

A man answered the door in a robe. The robe was closed, but I guess he wasn’t wearing underwear, because as we’re exchanging money, a stream of piss starts to fall between his legs and right onto his own carpet. He doesn’t seem to notice, or just doesn’t care.

I take a big step back out of the splash zone, and he just keeps making small talk while it’s happening.


This is a robbery

I know of a kid who was a drug addict that had pizza delivered to his house. Once he heard the doorbell, he walked out his back door with a ski mask on and robbed the delivery driver in front of his own home. After that, he walked back around the home and opened the front door from inside pretending to be surprised that the guy was robbed.

Idiot ended up getting arrested but it was the worst plan ever hatched by someone I knew.


“Coming!”

I was delivering a pizza and after I knocked on the door I heard a far away voice yell “Coming!” so I waited. After about a minute I hear the same voice a little closer yell “Almost there just wait!”

This continues for several minutes, with the voice coming closer and closer until the person finally reaches the door and opens it. I’m expecting to see someone at eye level, however instead I’m greeted by a smiling person on the floor who had no legs and dragged themselves across the house to answer the door.

I offered to put the pizza inside for them in the kitchen and they were pretty appreciative


Full of weird shit

So I delivered like five pizzas to this guy once. I had to ring the doorbell several times before he came to the door. When he got there he didn’t really say anything except to come on in real quick.

Now you aren’t supposed to go in people’s houses but I decided who cares I can defend myself. I get inside this guy’s huge house and i’ts full of weird shit. There was a full suit of armor right by the door, and somewhere he had this Halloween CD playing creepy, deep voiced laughs.

While he’s searching for his wallet the biggest dog I’ve ever seen walks up to me and falls at my feet pushing me over. So I’m sitting next to a suit of armor petting this huge-ass dog waiting for this middle-aged man to pay me.

He gave me a $40 tip.


“Let him keep the rest!”

I delivered pizzas for a few years in college.

One of my deliveries to a hotel had a guy answer the door in nothing but boxers and a beanie. We trade money for pizza and as I give him his change, I hear another guy yell, unseen, from behind the corner, “If he’s cute, let him keep the rest!” The guy at the door hands me back the change and smiles.

I wasn’t sure how to react, so I just turned and left.


Photo: Constantine Spyrou

Completely naked

I was a delivery boy for an Asian restaurant for a while. Had a delivery down a sketchy, very bumpy road in the back of my small town near all these trailers. When they answered the door, there was a 50-60 year old lady standing completely naked in front of me, as well as two men of the same age sitting on the couch with their dongs out, again, completely naked.

I obviously got out of there as fast as possible. I took her signature and nearly ran away. She yelled at me through the window “Come inside with us!” And I said “Fuck no!” as I was walking away, and she proceeded to curse at me as I jogged back to my car.


Imaginary money

The guy who answered the door looked like he had just seen a ghost and was a little jittery so I’m pretty sure he was on some kind of drugs.

Anyways, he hands me $10 for a $15 bill and tries to go back inside really quick. I realize that he didn’t hand me enough money so I knock on the door and tell the guy he still owed me like $5 dollars so he starts patting his pockets and finally pulls his hand out to as if to give me more money but has nothing in his hand.

He extended his hand to give me this imaginary money and was visually surprised when I wasn’t fooled by his trickery.

The guy does this two or three more times before having me call my manager to attempt to use his card to pay even though I’m sure he knew it wouldn’t work. At this point, he goes back inside because he “just heard his roommate come in” and is going to “borrow money from him.”

So I wait, and I wait until I knock again. The guy cracks the door, sees it’s me, and closes the door again really quick like he was surprised I didn’t go away. Eventually after about 10 minutes of annoyance and feeling like I might get stabbed I told the guy I either needed money or the food, which he reluctantly gave back.

All in all a very strange experience.


“Keep the change, pal”

This is definitely one of the most memorable deliveries I had when I worked as a driver for this Japanese restaurant.

It was sent to this house with an order of a steak hibachi and a couple of sushi rolls that added up to something like $19.60. I liked to call before I got to a place, just to give people a bit of a heads up, so by the time I got to the door it was already open. In the doorway stood a chubby kid, about 9 or 10 years old that reminded me a lot of the kid from Bad Santa, but without the curly hair.

I tell him the total as I pass off his food. He hands me a $20 bill and with a straight face he smugly says, “Keep the change, pal.” Immediately after, he closes the door and I stood there for a second trying to process what just happened. When I got back to my car I noticed the time and realized it was way too early for that kid to be home from school. I couldn’t help but laugh at the whole situation.

No wonder he sounded a bit cocky when he told me that I could keep the $.40 in change. This kid probably faked being sick so he could stay from school and was probably in there watching TV or playing video games while eating sushi and feeling like a big shot.

I know I would’ve at that age.


Not-so-shy-guy

I rang the doorbell and a woman about my age — 23 at the time — opened the door. We were going through the usual exchange of pizza and money, when another woman who appeared to be her mother began walking towards us. “Well if you’re not going to do it, I will,” she said, while at the same time removing her shirt.

I was somewhat taken aback and must have looked confused while keeping eye contact with the young woman who was visibly embarrassed. “Don’t be shy, you can look at them you know,” the mother said.

I glanced down at her boobs, then up to her face and gave a nod of approval. I looked back at the daughter, said thank you and walked back to my car. They tipped well too, so pretty decent delivery if I’m honest.


Note: Stories have been edited for spelling and flow. 

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News

Hong Kong Customs Seize Over $2 Million Of Liquid Cocaine Hidden In Dragon Fruit

NextShark-DragonFruit-Cocaine

Drug dealers recently tried to smuggle over $2 million worth of liquid cocaine in dragon fruits shipped from South America to Hong Kong.

On Wednesday, customs officials discovered liquid cocaine filled in the hollow centers of 98 dragon fruits that were a part of a large shipment of the fruit, which arrived at the airport. Authorities at the Hong Kong International Airport spent over four hours opening 160 crates of dragonfruit.

According to South China Morning Post, a source elaborated that the smuggling scheme was sophisticated and innovative:

“Part of the fruit layer was peeled off and pulp was removed before liquid cocaine was injected into the hollow center and the layer glued back on. From appearance, it was hard to distinguish the ones concealing illegal drugs. Officers had to inspect them one by one.”

The shipment was confiscated by customs who inspected nearly 2,000 dragon fruits, also known as pitaya fruit, on Tuesday. The 98 fruits concealed with drugs were spread out among 50 different boxes of fruit. The source added:

“Each dragon fruit carried about 130 grams of liquid cocaine. A total of 15 kg of liquid cocaine was seized inside the 98 fruits. The haul has an estimated street value of HK $15.7 million.”

The air freight reportedly made its way to Hong Kong from Colombia via Britain, reported The Standard. The dragon fruits were selected for inspection as fresh fruit shipped overseas by air are usually picked up on the same day of arrival.

The 36-year-old man tasked with picking up the cargo from the airport terminal on Tuesday night was arrested upon arrival and held for questioning. It is uncertain yet whether the shipment was destined for local consumption in Hong Kong or for export.

Written by NextShark

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Hit-Or-Miss

Satirical Coffee Ad Is SAVAGE AF

I can’t lie, I wake up every morning and look forward to my cup of coffee. I even ground my own beans and brew individual cups with a reusable knock-off K-Cup thing. I sip my freshly brewed coffee with pride and look forward to the morning ritual.

It’s all because I’m an addict—a coffee addict, and thanks to this brutally honest video from Cracked.com, I’m now aware of my problems and will seek the help of my friends and family for help and guidance. Take a look for yourself, are you an addict too?

Even though I’m slightly joking about seeking help, caffeine is pretty addicting.

While I’m not going to steal, cheat and lie for my next grande Pike at Starbucks, it’s safe to say coffee drinkers aren’t shy about their habit — I just typed grande Pike without hesitation — but if you’re buying the next round, I’m coming.

I drink way too much coffee.

So, the next time you consider drinking a nice, warm cup of Joe in the morning, remember this video and say to yourself, “At least it’s not heroin.”

Enjoy!

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Hit-Or-Miss

Twenty-Five-Year-Old Woman Caught At The Mexican Border Smuggling A $3,000 Meth-Filled Burrito

3000-Meth-Burrito

An Arizona woman was recently apprehended for allegedly sneaking some methamphetamine tucked inside a burrito across the U.S.-Mexico border at Nogales, Arizona.

Customs officials caught 25-year-old Susy Janelly Laborin carrying a pound of contraband as she was crossing into the United States on foot via the Nogales-Morley pedestrian gate on May 20.

Suspicious of her lunch bag, a U.S. Customs and Border Protection officer decided to question Laborin who then immediately looked nervous. An inspection of the plastic bag she was carrying later revealed one meth-filled burrito among other normal ones, CBP Assistant Port Director Joe Agosttini told Daily Mail.

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Homeland Security Investigations agents later probed into the case with Laborin waiving her right to remain silent and answering further questions.

Upon questioning, Laborin admitted in the knowledge that she was carrying narcotics and claimed that she was promised $500 to transport and deliver the illegal substance to a third party. Officials estimated the value of the confiscated pound of meth was around $3,000.

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Agosttini said it is usual to find pedestrian smugglers carrying no more than 50 pounds of drugs. While smuggling on foot is usually done with contraband taped to the smuggler’s bodies, there have been numerous food-related drug-smuggling attempts done in the past.

A person was once caught carrying a stack of tortillas stuffed with a pound of heroin inside a hollowed out center, while another smuggler hid some drugs inside a McDonald’s bag of burgers, Agosttini shared.

Written by NextShark

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Fast Food

Heroin-Dealing Brothers Arrested In Burger King Ball Pit Sting

While Burger King has always let customers have it their way when it comes to food orders — the slogan won’t save your ass from the DEA if you’re caught selling $4,000 worth of heroin at the local home of the Whopper.

The suspects, Otis Pegues 31, and Marlan Byars, 28, brothers, found out the hard way that a BK ball pit isn’t the best place to arrange the sale of 20 heroin bricks to an undercover officer.

To make matters worse, CBS Pittsburgh reported that Byars’ 6-year-old son was present during the alleged deal.

The arrests came after a three-month long investigation, during which authorities allege one of the brothers sold heroin to undercover officers in various locations, including a Wal-Mart restroom.

It’s safe to say the brothers face a series of charges and chances are they won’t “have it their way,” for a long time.

h/t Ralph Iannotti, At First We feast

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Hit-Or-Miss

The Party Animal Pasts These 5 Celebrity Chefs Don’t Want You To Know

Sex and drugs and… lobster rolls? Why does it seem that so many celebrity chefs have a wild side? Maybe they just like slurping things out of spoons so much that they decided to try injecting those same things?

Many of them claim that their joie de vivre is the very thing that makes them such good chefs—in essence, their indulgent nature lets them know how to help other people indulge. Well, thank god they’re slinging crème brûlée and not crack cocaine. Let’s take a look at the rituals and party habits of some of the most well known chefs around the globe.

Anthony Bourdain

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While we’ll never know all of what Bourdain smuggled in parts unknown, this jetsetter enjoys a vibrant lifestyle and never shies away from the sauce. Before he became famous, however, he fostered notorious habits for cocaine, heroin, and the occasional acid trip—which he describes vividly in his book Kitchen Confidential. He was also a remorseless, two-and-a-half pack a day smoker, until his daughter was born in 2007.

Keith Floyd

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This chef might not be recognizable to many Americans, but he influenced an entire generation of boozing British gourmands. His off-the-cuff style included cracking jokes with members of his crew and drinking goblets of wine while filming. His excessive lifestyle of heavy drinking, smoking, and extravagant eating ultimately did him in, but he remains a whiskey-pickled touchstone for a hundred other party-hearty celebrity chefs that followed in his footsteps.

Nigella Lawson

nigella-lawson-overcomes-depression-by-bingeing-chocolates

British cook Nigella Lawson rose to success on the back of her book How to Be a Domestic Goddess. While she amassed a fortune of reportedly £100 million, money couldn’t buy her happiness, especially after she married art collector Charles Saatchi. The emotionally abusive relationship led Lawson to seek refuge in cocaine and pot. (Unfortunately, the abusive Saatchi forbade her from entertaining, meaning there was never any amazing coke- and pot-fueled gourmet Friendsgiving you’re imagining.) After the two split, she’s maintained that she’s totally drug free.

Epic Meal Time

Epic-meal-time

The meat-headed madmen at Epic Meal Time are constantly upping their game, and recently their cookouts have become full-blown ragers. With sexy assistants and tons of meat, what more do you want from a party? But these beasts of BBQ were smart enough to add a healthy dose of booze to their unhealthy dose of a calories, and Jack Daniels is a regular invite to each and every meal time.

Andrew Zimmern

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This cheeky traveler used to steal more than just a taste of Bizarre Foods. When he was getting down, Zimmern would snatch full purses to get his fix. While he hasn’t fully disclosed his personal habits during this dark period in his life, Zimmern was reportedly homeless for about a year and half owing to severe drug and alcohol addiction. Compared to that, eating octopus anus probably doesn’t sound so bad.

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News

This Dude Snuck A Heroin-Filled Burrito Into A Hospital, Syringe And All

Greasy-Burrito-Cover

Police in Bradenton, FL., are looking for a man who entered a hospital and left behind a burrito filled with heroin. The Bradenton Herald reports that the man arrived at Blake Medical Center and left a bag of food for a patient with an employee.

When the employee checked the contents of the bag, a syringe was discovered to be inside the burrito.

The authorities were alerted immediately and tests showed that the contents of the syringe were positive for “the presence of heroin.”

Police are currently looking for the man who dropped off the burrito. He’s described as about 6 feet tall with a thin build and has bleach blond hair.

Wonder if he goes around to all the local hospitals dropping off special burritos.

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Hit-Or-Miss

Half-Naked Ice Cream Man Arrested For Screaming At Kids, He Was High

Ice-Cream-Screamer

The children of Clarence, NY, were met with a chilling surprise when they tried to buy ice cream from a truck last Friday. Parents started calling in complaints when they discovered that their children were getting screamed at by the local ice cream man, reports WIVB. He was also in nothing but his underwear.

That’s gotta be a health violation.

Ryan Duff, 24, was arrested by Erie County Sheriff’s Deputies on Friday. After an investigation, they discovered that the ice cream man was high on drugs. According to officers, Duff had refused to cooperate with testing and they had to bring in a drug recognition expert.

Duff was charged with DWI-drugs and is scheudled back in court Aug. 25. Pretty sure that ice cream gig is long gone.