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Humor Packaged Food Sweets

You Can Anonymously Send A Bag Of Gummy D*cks For Valentine’s Day

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For anyone who’s ever been told to “Eat a dick,” here’s your chance to get a few in before Valentine’s Day. Dicks by Mail, the online service that sends gummy penises to anyone is offering a special Valentine’s Day Box for the upcoming holiday.

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The non-conspicous packaging is a perfect decoy for any and every romantic from here to the end of the block. For $20, you just include the name and address of the recipient and patiently wait for a reaction from your Valentine. A bag of dicks, without the holiday packaging, costs $15.

You can also customize your bag of dicks with additional penis-shaped confetti and glitter for an additional fee, leaving an unwanted messed for the target of your affections.

Categories
Packaged Food

Anonymously Send A Bag Of D*cks To Your Enemies

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Have an enemy? You can anonymously send them a tootsome doo-dooan envelope full of glitter, OR a bag of penis-shaped gummies thanks to D*cks By Mail. The company pockets your $15 and in return mails off the package of gummy packages to your worst enemy along with a note that instructs them to eat a bag of d*cks. Quick question: do the candies taste bad? If so, okay, yes, that is stone cold Steve Austin. I do NOT wanna be on your bad side. If not — if they’re just regular, delicious gummies — then the sender is the real sucker here. I mean, spending $15 to tell someone they’re a jerk using candy? C’mon now yall. It’s doesn’t matter what shape it comes in! Candy is candy is candy is candy.

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Written by Brittany High of Incredible Things