Well, I hate to be the one to say it, but thank goodness, amirite, ladies? I, for one, was getting real tired of non-degradable dildos. I mean, it’s 2013, and we still live in a world where, when the old one runs out, were just supposed to shove it in a duct taped plastic bag, bury it at the bottom of a dumpster, and hope for the best! It just sits there in a landfill somewhere, taunting you defiantly. Wasteful.
Fortunately, designer Francesco Morackini has the solution. Where others see a perverted pencil sharpener, innovator and all around ladies’ man Franny sees the Dildo Maker: An opportunity to offer “sexual pleasure” while also making us question “our relationship between us and manufactured products.” Clearly, that relationship should be dirty and sexual. What, you were just gonna use that lit scented candle for ambiance? WRONG. Use it for BDSM. Obviously.
While the design appears to be just a concept thus far, we, as consumers, should be pushing for production (LOL INNUENDO … kinda). Our buddy Francesco offers a “limitless choice of creations,” a carrot, a Popsicle and a stack of ice cubes. He does warn that all soft material must be frozen before insertion into the Dildo Maker (more puns!), but once you’re done, ta da! Never throw away any phallic items again. At least not before this crazy awesome form of recycling, which —
— oh, who am I kidding? This is gross. Stop it, Francesco. Stop it.