Categories
Celebrity Grub Hit-Or-Miss Humor

The Undertaker Is Terrified Of Cucumbers And Wrestlers Always Pranked Him For It

Wrestling fans know the fear that The Undertaker put into the souls of other wrestlers, as he’d stroll into arenas with the lights completely shut off, bursts of fiery pyro filling the stage, with his eyes rolled to the back of his head, like a possessed monster.

“The Deadman” was a symbol of fear for years. But even one of the most terrifying men in the world had his own weakness, though I bet you’d never guess that weakness was… cucumbers.

I know, it sounds insane. This man was 6-foot-10, threw 300-pound men into caskets, and fearlessly fought atop a 16-foot cage, yet the sight of cucumbers literally made him throw up.

If there was any one person we could trust on the subject, it’s The Undertaker’s longtime friend William Moody, better known as Paul Bearer, valet of The Deadman.

Before Moody’s death in 2013, he did an interview with wrestling promoter Jim Cornette, where he revealed in detail stories of the Undertaker’s fear of the veggie.

“He cannot stand cucumbers,” Moody said in the interview. “At Waffle Houses sometimes, we’d come in after having a few drinks, he’d go to the bathroom… come back and there’d be a cucumber floating in his iced tea. I saw The Undertaker throw up all over a Waffle House.”

There was even a time where The Undertaker would put on his infamous purple gloves, only to freak out from finding bits of cucumbers at the fingertips. Even more blasphemous, there were times when he’d be getting dressed for a match, grabbed his scary black hat, and wouldn’t you know it, there’d be cucumbers inside of it.

While there weren’t too many other wrestlers that would have the balls to prank The Undertaker in this fashion, aside from Moody, former wrestlers Brian Adams and Owen Hart would get in on the fun was well.

According to former WWE producer Bruce Prichard, Owen Hart would stick slices of cucumbers in The Undertaker’s boots, which really pissed him off. Even worse, Hart once stuck cucumber slices in his tights, later flashing them in The Undertaker’s face in the middle of a match.

I don’t know how wrestlers would mess with The Undertaker without fear of repercussion. I’m nowhere near The Undertaker and am still scared that he’ll suddenly appear in our office and chokeslam me, just for writing this story. Hopefully we have some cucumbers in the fridge for protection.

Categories
Humor Now Trending

Ushers Keep Finding Cucumbers At ’50 Shades Darker’ Showings

You usually can’t find anything healthy to eat at the theater, but the newly released “Fifty Shades Darker” movie seems to have moviegoers sneaking in healthy treats, in the form of cucumbers.

Workers at cinemas around the world have been posting photos of cucumbers mysteriously left on theater floors, which can only mean one thing — fans of the erotic “Fifty Shades Darker” film really care about getting their vitamin K.

OK, OK, enough beating around the bush, we all know what the insinuation is, and it’s pretty gnarly.

The fact that the following photo was tweeted by an Australian theater itself gives us hope that it was a gag, especially since the usher is holding the cucumber with his bare hands.

There’s also the Fredrikstad Kino theater in Norway, which found two cucumbers on its floor. Thankfully, it looks like those were not immediately grabbed by hand.

Then there was this gem that Reddit user pouty_pleb posted, which we still hope is a joke.

7JOOZgO

Whoever’s bringing in these cucumbers probably isn’t getting enough vitamin D, if you know what I mean, and this is the latest example of why we’re not allowed to bring in outside food. Y’all are ruining it for everyone. But seriously, there’s no way this is real, right?

h/t munchies

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Hilarious New Cucumber Cat Scaring Trend Might Be Bad For Your Kitten

Well, you’ve done it again internet. You’ve found the weirdest new trend and turned it into the next big phenomenon. That trend is scaring cats with cucumbers, or what I like to call “cat-shaming.”

For the past few months, people have been finding a twisted yet hilarious pleasure in scaring the shit out of their cats by placing a cucumber next to them while they’re eating. As the cats finish eating their Meow Mix or Fancy Feast or whatever overpriced grub they’re given, they slowly turn around only to see this phallic green vegetable waiting there menacingly. The shock of being snuck up on by a cucumber normally jolts the felines into some pretty hysterical acrobatics.

Though these videos are surprisingly funny, many people think that playing these sorts of pranks on the cats puts a constant level of stress on them. As if they aren’t already stressed enough trying to catch the elusive laser dot creatures that don’t exist.

“If owners think this is amusing then I am appalled,” says clinical animal behaviorist Pippa Hutchinson.

“If you were to do this regularly you would put the animal under a lot of repeated stress and this would have a damaging effect on its body.”

“These cucumbers ARE scary…scary good at revitalizing my skin that is.”

While stressing your pet out seems like a pretty dick move, a fun little scare here and there shouldn’t be too harmful, especially since there have been no reports of serious psychological or physical trauma due to these pranks. Cats are obnoxiously skittish as it is, regardless of crafty cucumbers lurking in the shadows or not.

World renowned animal psychologist Dr. Roger Mugford believes that the cucumbers themselves aren’t necessarily scary. “I think that the reaction is due to the novelty and unexpectedness of finding an unusual object secretly placed whilst their heads were down in the food bowl,” says Mugford. “Cats have to be suspicious of the unknown: it could represent the danger of a snake or another predator. I suspect that there would be the same reaction to a model spider, a plastic fish or a human face mask.”

Personally, I don’t think these pranks are that mean-spirited. If cats have no problem pushing random shit off of countertops for sport, they can afford to be victimized by vegetables every once in a while. All is fair in love and war and animal pranks.

 

Image Source: Daily News Dig, Yoga Savvy

Categories
Fast Food

McDonald’s Turkey Has a Breakfast Menu that Actually Looks Fresh & Healthy

mcdonald's turkey

I did a double take on this one. Apparently, McDonald’s Turkey sells a “Turkish Breakfast Menu” that features a vibrant offering of sliced cucumbers, olives, tomatoes, feta cheese, an omelet and an English muffin. This is a far cry from the Bacon, Egg & Cheese Biscuit spilling over with grease and delicious calories back here in America. Turkey’s Breakfast Menu not only looks like it’s good for you but more like something you’d throw together in your own kitchen, than something from Mickey D’s.

Turkey-McDonalds

While our friends over at RocketNews24 claim that they’d “still pick the American one given the choice,” we’d be tempted to try a bite of that feta cheese + omelet combo.

H/T + PicThx RocketNews24

Categories
Cravings

Scanwich: Falafel Burger

My Middle Eastern ancestors would be proud of this scanwich. Instead of the normal falafel sandwich that includes pita bread, this scanwich includes two pieces of whole wheat bread, a falafel patty, tomatoes, onions, sprouts, cucumbers, and tahini! For the followers that aren’t familiar with these foreign ingredients, falafel is basically a fried ball of mashed chickpeas which is usually garnished with tahini, a sesame seed based paste. Vegetarian love? (Thx SW)

Categories
Cravings

Craving: Turkish Kebab Pizza

Looks like someone took the innards of a respectable Gyro and heaved them ontop a pizza. I guess I’ll have to give it a try pretty soon! (Thx Seepeoh)