Man Unhappy with Jared’s Diet Robs Multiple Subways


Alabama police have arrested a man connected to multiple Subway robberies who claimed he wanted his money back for not losing weight eating the franchise’s sandwiches. WBRC reports that 18-year-old Zachary Torrence told the detectives after his arrest that he dropped a lot of dollar bills on Subway as a means to emulate “Jared’s diet.”

When Jared Fogle first stepped onto America’s television screens more than 15 years ago, we were all cheering him on for his Subway success. The guy lost a significant amount of weight eating what he claimed was nothing but Subway. Now we know there were other factors to Fogle’s success, like exercise and portion control, but we’re guessing this Alabama man didn’t.

Torrence claimed he had been ordering either a foot-long veggie sub or a six-inch turkey and had not seen the same results. Not sure how long the young man had been practicing the diet, or if he tried pairing it with exercise.

Police arrested Torrence after he was spotted at a Walmart with the orange shoes he was wearing in surveillance videos from previous robberies. He is being charged with one count of first degree robbery with a $250,000 bond.



Almost 1,000 Chickens Beaten to Death with Golf Club During Foster Farms Break-in


The Huffington Post reports that someone broke into a poultry plant near Fresno, Calif., early on Sept. 20 and clubbed almost 1,000 chickens to death with a golf club. Police say that the chicken assailant snuck into the chicken sheds at a Foster Farms site and killed 920 chickens before leaving the scene.

The estimated damage of the chicken carnage is $5,000. While this is considered to be a random act of violence, the Fresno County Sheriff’s Department is looking for leads to the chicken killer. Foster Farms has since issued a statement calling the incident an “unconscionable act of animal cruelty.”

Because a piece of the golf club was discovered at the scene of the incident, police suspect it was the weapon used in the assault; another weapon may have been used as well.

H/T Huffington Post


350,000 Pounds of Raw Chicken Held for Ransom, Inevitably Goes Bad


A trucker abandoned 350,000 pounds of raw chicken at a Missoula truck stop on Tuesday. This was after a failed ransom attempt involving the chicken and the company he worked for. Sounds like the premise for a really bad great heist comedy.

According to the Missoulian, the truck and trailer containing the chicken were reported stolen from a freight company. A driver from the company thought it would be a good idea to steal the raw chicken and hold it for ransom. The driver texted his boss saying that he would return the chicken after he was paid. Since the chicken was worth around $80,000, it’s assumed that’s how much he was asking for.

Because the company decided not to pay the driver, he ditched all 350,000 pounds of raw chicken at the stop. Local authorities have since arrived to figure out a way to get rid of the rotting chicken meat. While health officials were also called in to help with the disposal, they’re keeping the trailer doors shut until they have a set plan.

No word yet on the whereabouts of the chicken thief.

H/T Consumerist



Cop Blocks Couple from Getting Freaky on a Chipotle Roof


Nothing kills a boner like a cop shouting at you to get off the roof.

Delaware police received calls of a couple doing the nasty on top of the roof of a Delaware Chipotle. When police arrived they definitely caught the couple mid-coitus and promptly asked them to stop. There was no stopping that rocket however, as the couple continued for 15-20 seconds before eventually stopping.

The incident occurred at 9:40 p.m. and the couple tried to sneak in a quicky before the 10 pm closing, but they probably shouldn’t have been on the very front of the restaurant’s roof where they were evidently visible.

The couple tried running away and hiding into the man’s apartment nearby, but it didn’t work as they were found, arrested and charged with Resisting Arrest, Lewdness, Indecent Exposure, Loitering and Conspiracy.

Both were released on $1,800 unsecured bond in what ended up being some pretty expensive intercourse.

H/T CBS, Picthx Chipotle

Fast Food

Pregnant Woman Orders McDouble Gets McMaryJane Instead


The latest chronicle in the “weird things found in our food” saga comes from Iowa where a pregnant woman allegedly found pot in her McDouble.

Probably fulfilling a pregnancy craving, the woman and her fiancé ordered their food as normal from the drive thru, but a few bites into her McDouble she realized one of the toppings didn’t belong. The couple is claiming the patty was tainted with marijuana but the local police won’t know for at least a month until the test results are completed.

During the investigation police did find one McDonald’s employee who was in possession of drug paraphernalia but no one has officially been charged yet. As to why someone would waste their stash on some random customer’s burger, who knows.

Whether it’s a crime or a prank we have to wonder how Mickey D’s didn’t think of this before, seems like a good way to get customers to come back with the munchies and order all the things…just kidding.

H/T Consumerist


Washington Man Arrested For Getting Freaky With Sub Shop Window


Have you ever arrived at your favorite sandwich shop only to find it closed for the night? Typically you’d grab at the door handle, peek through the window and maybe give it a few knocks. What you probably wouldn’t do is drop trou then start goin’ at it with the shop window, right?

Well apparently Lydell Coleman doesn’t take too kindly to restaurants being closed on him. The Washington man exposed himself to onlookers and shop employees then proceeded to hump and grind on the Sub Shop window like he was making sweet sweet love. Guess he didn’t get his foot-long so he showed off his six-inch…womp.

Security interrupted Coleman’s rendezvous causing him to fled. He was later caught and is now being held on felony indecent exposure charges. Coleman has been convicted of indecent exposure before, we’re guessing his first strike involved a burger joint. No word on whether or not the Sub Shop window will wait for Coleman.

H/T Consumerist


Man Arrested for Impersonating a Cop to Score Dunkin’ Donuts Discount


Charles Thomas Barry, 48, entered a Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru on Nov. 6 to order his donuts. When he pulled up to the window, he whipped out his badge and asked the cashier for a discount towards his order, according to the Tampa Bay Times. When the cashier refused to implement the discount, Barry showed the cashier a holstered .38 revolver to reassure him that he was an officer.

Before this incident, the store manager told the Times that Barry had come in before saying he was a U.S. Marshall and another time saying he was a U.S. Air Marshall and asked for discounts. Barry had even come in with his family and requested a discount, sometimes receiving 10 percent off. However, Sheriff Chris Nocco stated that while deputies are allowed to receive discounts, they are not supposed to ask for them.

The manager took down Barry’s license plate number and set up surveillance to catch him in the act. Barry was arrested soon after and was charged with impersonating an offer and improper exhibition of a firearm. He has been released on $5,150 bail.

H/T Tampa Bay Times


Pinkberry Co-Founder Young Lee Found Guilty of Beating Homeless Man

Young Lee

Pinkberry co-founder Young Lee was found guilty on Friday of beating a homeless man with a tire-iron.

The attack originally occurred in LA in June 2011 when the homeless man, Daniel Bolding approached Lee’s car and displayed a racy tattoo of two figures having sex to Lee and his fiancee. Lee and a friend returned to the scene later and proceeded to beat the homeless man down with a tire iron.

It’s unclear whether it was Lee or his friend who wielded the tire iron but what is clear is that the homeless man endured traumatic bodily harm. The brutal attack coupled with the evidence that Lee attempted to intimidate witnesses was enough to convince jury members to convict Lee after two days of deliberation.

Sentencing will occur January 14 where Lee will face seven years in state prison but until then Lee is being held without bail as he is considered “a threat to the community”.

Pinkberry was founded in 2005 by cofounders Young Lee and Shelly Hwang in West Hollywood. Lee is no longer associated with the frozen yogurt chain.

H/T + PicThx Gawker