Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Former Souplantation Manager’s Creepy Craigslist Ad For A Coachella Date Gets Deleted

With the recent news of Souplantation’s parent company, Sweet Tomatoes, filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy, and rumors that some locations could close, it’s safe to say some employees are looking for a way out.  Well, one such former employee has made it clear that he’s clearly over his managerial role at the all-you-can-eat chain and is set on, “JUST FUN,” from now on.

Gordon, as he calls himself in a recently posted Craigslist ad — which has now been flagged for removal — is looking to attend Coachella with a, “travel companion.”

In his ad, the newly divorced 56-year-old former Supervising Manager at Souplantation from West Covina explained that after 11 years of marriage, he recently quit his job, cashed out his 401K, and wants to party — beginning with a fun-filled VIP experience during Weekend 2 of Coachella 2017.

Here’s an image of the now deleted ad.

screen-shot-2017-01-05-at-3-20-50-pm

Gordie’s Craigslist ad seemed innocent enough at first, but quickly transitioned into a creepy, slightly questionable solicitation for a 19 to 25-year-old female with a, “(#3) … fashionable sense of style in the vein of typical coachella goer (i.e. cute indian headband, small ripped jean shorts, lots of colorful bracelets, etc),” who should be willing to follow a 20-point checklist of semi-repulsive requests during the the four-day weekend together.

screen-shot-2017-01-05-at-3-37-44-pm

While Gordon’s first few rules aren’t that disturbing, things quickly progress into the transgressive realm, starting with stipulation #5.

5. Must keep hands and feet moisturized at all times.

Um, sure?

As the list grows, Gordon’s requests started to shadow a deep sense of fetishism and obsessiveness, not to mention some were borderline demanding.

screen-shot-2017-01-05-at-3-50-43-pm

Rule #10 was especially critical: Being social is fine but no excessive fraternizing with other male festival-goers, and most definitely NO PUBLIC AFFECTION with other festival-goers (violation of this rule results in immediate removal of Tropic Motor Motel room privileges and maybe even return ride).

So, your guest isn’t supposed to interact with other people at a festival? Why not just watch it online?

Here comes the heavier stuff. Take a breath.

Rule #11 states, “Periodic moments of extended eye contact.”

Wut?

Rule #12 is pretty much where it all started going south.

12. Allow me to brush your hair once per day (not mandatory, but encouraged).

Huh? Why?

Gordon’s not done there. The list continues with awkward requests that seem to showcase a slightly voyeuristic personality, mixed with slight delusion.

For example, rule #15 stated, “Any personal grooming such as toenail clipping, eyebrow plucking or lipstick application must be done in my presence.”

It’s called personal grooming for a reason, Gordon!  Can’t we just go watch Beyonce?!

There’s really no explanation for the rest of his requests, but hey, here we go.

#17. At least twice during the festival you must tell me in a playful manner that “I am naughty.”

Nope.

#18. At some point in time during the festival you must tell me that, “you didn’t know how this would go, but you’re actually having a really good time.”

Why would I lie?

Rule 19 is probably is by far the creepiest request:

19. At least once during our stay after your shower, you must use the steam to write a cute message on the bathroom mirror for me to find later when I shower.

Does, “HELP ME!!!!” count?

Lastly, Gordon’s just there to have a sweet-ass time and just wants you to have a blast, as long as you’re not in violation of the 8,500,000 set of rules he has established.

20.  Must be ready to party and HAVE FUN.

It’s easy to see why this ad was removed, but still, it’s only fair that we hope Gordon meets the, “right one.” But, perhaps he should do so under some less invasive, and more moderately acceptable circumstances.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Creepy Craigslister Wants to Pay $175 for ‘Woman-Flavored’ Ramen

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

If a stranger offered nearly $200 just for you to sit in a tub, you might think he was a pervert. A Peeping Tom. A creep who’d recreate the ending of Psycho faster than you could ask why on earth the tub has ramen noodles in it. But judging by a recent ad on Craigslist, it would seem there’s actually a totally legitimate, totally non-murdery reason someone would make such a request. Like, say, wanting his dinner to taste like “woman.”

A few days ago, a Craigslist posting surfaced in New York offering (under “talent gigs,” no less) $175 for a woman to sit in a bath full of ramen noodles wearing nothing but a bathing suit. The lucky gal would pick up the keys at another location, proceed to the poster’s home, and enjoy the next 30 minutes alone in sweet, salted, slippery bliss. She wouldn’t even have to taste good, per se. As the ad notes, the poster would season the sauce himself prior to dinner.

ramenbath2

Assuming no one was killed in the end, this actually doesn’t sound like too bad a gig — $200 for 30 minutes worth of work. It might be worth noting though that similar ads have popped up before back in February this year and again in 2009, which tells you a lot about the job security. Eeek.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Dallas Blonde Ale Promises It ‘Goes Down Easy,’ Offends Many

DEBCBlondesInCans

Deep Ellum Brewing Company released their newest Blonde Ale, with a catch phrase claiming it “Goes Down Easy.” The statement has caused quite an uproar in Texas, particularly on the Burnt Orange Report, which claims that Deep Ellum took things too far.

The  brewing company is no stranger to odd names. Numb Comfort, Dreamcrusher, and Farmhouse Wit are a few, tamer examples of their unique approach to naming their brews. However, many point out that the new Dallas Blonde slogan is both offensive and inappropriate.

Genevieve Cato, who writes for the Burnt Orange Report, claims that the label (and the hot pink van associated with the brew) are “hard to ignore” and is insensitive to ” the role alcohol can play in sexual assault.” Of course, the creepy doll plastered on the beer can isn’t helping the company’s case either.

John Reardon, owner of Deep Ellum, thinks this is just a “play on words” and points out that “many beer manufacturers openly objectify women in their ads.” Since the conflict, Deep Ellum has released a statement claiming:  “We’re not saying that all blondes go down easy” and will drop the marketing if enough people are upset

H/T + PicThx The Dallas Observer

Categories
Restaurants

‘Nurses’ Feed ‘Patients’ at Creepy Hospital-Themed Restaurant

hospitalis9[3]

And you thought the mayo restaurant in Japan was bad.

In the world of themed restaurants there’s scary, weird, and just plain uncomfortable.  But this hospital-themed restaurant in Latvia, called the Hospitalis, may take the cake for all three. It’s a place where customers are treated like patients by wait-staff dressed in nurse and surgeon uniforms, food looks like something you’d see on an operating table, and drinks are served in IV bags.

hospitalis8[6]

White walls, mirrored ceilings, and more surgical instruments than one can reasonably be comfortable being surrounded by, contribute to the sterile and gruesome feeling of the place.

hospitalis1[2]

Dishes are shaped to look like body parts, and are served to be eaten with, you guessed it, more surgical instruments.

hospitalis11[3]

Diners can also choose to dine in a straight jacket, which is probably how you’d need to keep me in this place for more than a few minutes. That, or heavy sedation.

H/T Design Taxi + PicThx Amusing Planet

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Literally Eat Yourself . . . In Gummy Form

gummy-me

Are you a narcissistic foodie or know someone who is? Thanks to the innovators at Japan’s FabCafe and White Day, you can indulge your sweet tooth while basking in the sight of a miniature gummy replica of you.

Thanks to today’s technological advances, the process is fairly simplistic. First is a trip inside a 3D full-body scanner, which creates the beginnings of your gummy self. With scan now complete, a custom human-like mold of yourself is made to be filled with gelatinous, sugary wonder.

So if you have roughly $65 to spend, plus money for a plane ticket to Japan, this isn’t a tough choice. Not to mention it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “eat me.”

H/T + PicThx Animal

 

Categories
Sweets

Scan Your Screaming Face on Chocolates, We Heard it’s Super Romantic

Screen Shot 2013-02-04 at 6.54.12 PM

How many of us have heard the phrase, “You’re so cute, I just want to eat you up?”

Now, you actually can eat someone up — if they decide to create a likeness of their own face in chocolate, that is.

Because, yeah, that’s actually a thing, and you can actually do that. According to Japanese news site Kotaku, a wonderful DIY-style restaurant in Shibuya, Japan by the name of FabCafe allows customers to scan their faces and afterwards, print out customized molds. Then. . . success! A chocolate truffle’d version of your face to terrify your beau (or soon-to-be-ex.)

Imagine the look on their faces when they see your own face set in chocolate. What more could someone want, right?

Screen Shot 2013-02-04 at 7.04.06 PM

Just look at that expression of love!

Unfortunately, this special promotion by FabCafe is only open to females, since women are traditionally the ones to give chocolate to their significant others for V-day in Japan.

Sorry men, you’re just going to have to wait for your own creepy chocolate face to gift to your lover.

H/T Kotaku

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Take a Look at These Frighteningly Realistic Versions of Kid’s Cereal Mascots

In case you needed another excuse for not eating breakfast, artist Guillermo Fajardo’s new series of “Breakfast Time” digital paintings may have you never wanting to open your kitchen cabinets again.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Do You Have a Golden Ticket? Nestlé Pulls a Willy Wonka With New Campaign

Forget the Olympics, or the Diamond Jubilee- if there was ever a better time to visit the UK these days, this is it. Big time candy manufacturer, Nestlé has recently announced the launch of a new campaign where you could have a shot at winning 10,000 pounds! Or, for us Americans, roughly $16,254.00 (Thanks Google).

Dubbed the most unsettling, “We Will Find You” campaign- Nestlé has embedded GPS trackers into 6 of their candy bars, and if you unwrap one of the lucky ones, they will track you down within 24 hours like candy bounty hunters and award you the jackpot.

So if you live in, or plan on visiting the UK any time soon, channel your inner Charlie Bucket and start stock piling your Kit Kats (Or Kit Kat 4 Finger, Kit Kat Chunky, Aero Peppermint and Yorkie Milks). This could be the coolest or creepiest contest ever!

Take a look at the TV spot:

[Gracias Gizmodo]