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#foodbeast Culture Film/Television FOODBEAST Humor News Now Trending

‘Man Eating Food,’ A New Viral YouTuber, Will Eat Anything You Ask Him To

About two weeks ago, Ben Rosen, an avid Reddit user, posted a collaboration with Eric, a middle-aged guy with a greying beard and leg-sized forearms. Eric’s idea combined with Ben’s Internet-savvy birthed the odd, yet aesthetically pleasing YouTube channel “man eating food.”

The not-yet-but-about-to-be viral popularity began on Reddit, of course, when Ben posted, “I have videos of a guy eating every food… I’ll respond to any food requests in the comments with the appropriate video.” The attached YouTube video has an unforgettable screen cap of Eric furrowing his brows and staring straight into the camera as he eats a spoonful of mayonnaise.

These videos are 10 to 15 seconds, long enough for Eric to take a bite, poker faced, of whatever Redditors request, whether it be onion, dog food, or even trash bag.

The number of responses on Reddit exceeded Ben’s expectations and made it hard to keep up. So much so that YouTube struggled to process the large number of uploads.

As of this writing, there are about 126 videos, all with the same white background, brown desk, Eric’s blue gridded polo, and crisp sounds. The clarity of Eric’s bite contains an aspect of mukbang (that thing where people, usually cute girls, eat food loudly and without manners); his eating sounds crisp in that ASMR-like way. In “man eating food,’ Eric and Ben elevated mukbang, making it artistic instead of voyeuristic.

 

The videos are formulaic and, therefore, addicting. As the food or object in front of Eric varies, the more inclined one feels to click it and watch — building hope that this will be the video where he will finally give some clue as to how it tastes.

But what elicits the grand question about Internet behavior are the view-counts. It is an unknowable mystery why “spinach” has 772 views and “tea” has 32,000.

Whether people are kinky or just find one food better than the other, what makes “man eating food” so good is its consistency of vision: a simple set, crisp sounds and his calm demeanor. In the end, everyone deserves to see someone bite into an onion like an apple, or chomp on a roll of paper towels. And Eric is the handlebar mustache martyr we all need to do so.

Check out their YouTube channel, and see more videos for yourself.

Categories
Cravings Hit-Or-Miss Humor

Weirdo On Craigslist Wants To Cook While Couples Make Love

Hired.

A post shared by Jessica Anteby (@beigecardigan) on

Craigslist is a great place to try and sell your washer or used car, but it’s also a place where you’ll find the strangest requests — by people who are probably insane.

Case in point, this guy who put up an ad, asking to cook for you and your partner while you guys are getting busy in the bedroom.

The hilarious post said:

“Seeking a couple who likes sex and Italian food. I simply want to come to your place when you’re about to have sex. I’ll be in your kitchen making gnocchi with crab meat, which is my favourite dish. When you’re done having sex I’ll let myself out and you can enjoy this meal at your leisure. You MUST provide the crab. I’ll do the rest. Serious people only.”

This is pretty much the opportunity of a lifetime. This guy is willing to cook for you, and all you have to do is have sex with your partner, while he’s in the kitchen getting his Gordon Ramsay on.

The only risk is that this lunatic could be touching himself and getting off to the thought of you in the bedroom.

Yeah, the cons seem to outweigh the pros on this one. I’ll pass, Mr. 6’3″ married Italian cook, but thanks for the offer.

h/t brobible

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Hit-Or-Miss

Former Souplantation Manager’s Creepy Craigslist Ad For A Coachella Date Gets Deleted

With the recent news of Souplantation’s parent company, Sweet Tomatoes, filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy, and rumors that some locations could close, it’s safe to say some employees are looking for a way out.  Well, one such former employee has made it clear that he’s clearly over his managerial role at the all-you-can-eat chain and is set on, “JUST FUN,” from now on.

Gordon, as he calls himself in a recently posted Craigslist ad — which has now been flagged for removal — is looking to attend Coachella with a, “travel companion.”

In his ad, the newly divorced 56-year-old former Supervising Manager at Souplantation from West Covina explained that after 11 years of marriage, he recently quit his job, cashed out his 401K, and wants to party — beginning with a fun-filled VIP experience during Weekend 2 of Coachella 2017.

Here’s an image of the now deleted ad.

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Gordie’s Craigslist ad seemed innocent enough at first, but quickly transitioned into a creepy, slightly questionable solicitation for a 19 to 25-year-old female with a, “(#3) … fashionable sense of style in the vein of typical coachella goer (i.e. cute indian headband, small ripped jean shorts, lots of colorful bracelets, etc),” who should be willing to follow a 20-point checklist of semi-repulsive requests during the the four-day weekend together.

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While Gordon’s first few rules aren’t that disturbing, things quickly progress into the transgressive realm, starting with stipulation #5.

5. Must keep hands and feet moisturized at all times.

Um, sure?

As the list grows, Gordon’s requests started to shadow a deep sense of fetishism and obsessiveness, not to mention some were borderline demanding.

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Rule #10 was especially critical: Being social is fine but no excessive fraternizing with other male festival-goers, and most definitely NO PUBLIC AFFECTION with other festival-goers (violation of this rule results in immediate removal of Tropic Motor Motel room privileges and maybe even return ride).

So, your guest isn’t supposed to interact with other people at a festival? Why not just watch it online?

Here comes the heavier stuff. Take a breath.

Rule #11 states, “Periodic moments of extended eye contact.”

Wut?

Rule #12 is pretty much where it all started going south.

12. Allow me to brush your hair once per day (not mandatory, but encouraged).

Huh? Why?

Gordon’s not done there. The list continues with awkward requests that seem to showcase a slightly voyeuristic personality, mixed with slight delusion.

For example, rule #15 stated, “Any personal grooming such as toenail clipping, eyebrow plucking or lipstick application must be done in my presence.”

It’s called personal grooming for a reason, Gordon!  Can’t we just go watch Beyonce?!

There’s really no explanation for the rest of his requests, but hey, here we go.

#17. At least twice during the festival you must tell me in a playful manner that “I am naughty.”

Nope.

#18. At some point in time during the festival you must tell me that, “you didn’t know how this would go, but you’re actually having a really good time.”

Why would I lie?

Rule 19 is probably is by far the creepiest request:

19. At least once during our stay after your shower, you must use the steam to write a cute message on the bathroom mirror for me to find later when I shower.

Does, “HELP ME!!!!” count?

Lastly, Gordon’s just there to have a sweet-ass time and just wants you to have a blast, as long as you’re not in violation of the 8,500,000 set of rules he has established.

20.  Must be ready to party and HAVE FUN.

It’s easy to see why this ad was removed, but still, it’s only fair that we hope Gordon meets the, “right one.” But, perhaps he should do so under some less invasive, and more moderately acceptable circumstances.

Categories
Celebrity Grub Hit-Or-Miss

Freaky Guy Fieri Fan Makes Twisted Request On Craigslist

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If you’re curious about how terrifying of a site Craigslist can be, Jared Fogle used to hunt for young companions on there. Really, really young companions.

Now that I’ve got you in an icky state-of-mind, a Guy Fieri lover had a very specific request in the form of terrible innuendos, Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives roleplay, and quite possibly sexual favors.

A 37-year-old man from Oakland, Calif., wrote on his post:

“I have a fantasy where I am Guy Fieri going to a diner on his TV show, I order a spicey Texas melt with a side of potato wedges, you pull up your skirt and say ‘I’ve got a hot creamy place you can wedge something into’. I’ve already spent $12K decorating my apartment like a diner so I can host.”

According to Eater, the post has since been deleted, probably because the guy already found the woman of his dreams, but thankfully there is photographic evidence of this guy’s search for frosted-tip love.

This dude’s totally a serial killer, right. No one should like THIS GUY that much:

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

This Thanksgiving Boyfriend Can Be Hired To Piss Off Your Parents

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An interesting offer was put up on Craigslist last week, as a guy offered to be the worst Thanksgiving dinner date, just to piss off your parents. What does he want in return? Simply the opportunity to eat the delicious Thanksgiving dinner provided that night.

If you’re going home for the holidays and want to avoid the awkward conversation involving your love life, or lack of it, then his offer is perfect for you. He will be a boyfriend placeholder that will not only stop your family from wondering why you’re forever alone, but possibly ruin Thanksgiving for everyone.

He’s willing to pretend to be drunk, hit on other girls and start a fight with a family member. Hell, he’ll even propose to you in front of your whole family.

It can pretty much be a no-holds-barred night of shenanigans if you want. Or he can just sit there and eat, it’s really up to you.

Check out the full ad below:

craig

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Restaurant Watches Old Surveillance Tapes from 2004, Shares Unexpected Findings on Craigslist

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After a NYC restaurant began noticing that service had slowed down — despite the addition of new staff, a slimmer menu and the number of customers remaining the same since a decade ago — the joint hired a firm to help them solve this “mystery”.  Like a customer service soap opera caught on tape, the restaurant found eye-opening results while comparing surveillance footage from 2004 to footage from 2014.

They posted their results on Craigslist under rants & raves, hoping to offer both diners and restaurateurs a fresh perspective on the real culprit behind slow service these days. Granted, the said rant is a tad defensive and their research a tad questionable.

Still, you can’t deny that you’ve made a poor waiter compete for your attention while you pour over Instagram, Facebook, emails, etc. at some point. Also, that Valencia filter will never be as tasty as crispy, hot fries.

Read the full Craigslist post below:

We are a popular restaurant for both locals and tourists alike. Having been in business for many years we noticed that although the number of customer’s we serve on a daily basis is almost the same today as it was 10 years ago, the service just seems super slow even thou we added lot’s more staff and cut back on the menu items.

One of the most common complaints on review sites against us and many restaurants in the area is that the service was slow and or they needed to wait a bit long for a table.

We decided to hire a firm to help us solve this mystery, and naturally the first thing they blamed it on was that the employees need more training and that maybe the kitchen staff is just not up to the task of serving that many customers.

Like most restaurants in NYC we have a surveillance system, and unlike today where it’s a digital system, 10 years ago we still used special high capacity tapes to record all activity. At any given time we had 4 special Sony systems recording multiple cameras. We would store the footage for 90 days just in case we need it for something.

The firm we hired suggested we locate some of the older tapes and analyze how the staff behaved 10 years ago versus how they behave now. We went down to our storage room but we couldn’t find any tapes at all.

We did find the recording devices, and luckily for us, each device has 1 tape in it that we simply never removed when we upgraded to the new digital system.

The date stamp on the old footage was Thursday July 1 2004, the restaurant was real busy that day. We loaded up the footage on a large size monitor, and next to it on a separate monitor loaded up the footage of Thursday July 3 2014, the amount of customers where only a bit more than 10 years prior.

I will quickly outline the findings. We carefully looked at over 45 transactions in order to determine the data below:

2004:

Customers walk in.

They gets seated and are given menus, out of 45 customers 3 request to be seated elsewhere.

Customers on average spend 8 minutes before closing the menu to show they are ready to order.

Waiters shows up almost instantly takes the order.

Food starts getting delivered within 6 minutes, obviously the more complex items take way longer.

Out of 45 customers 2 sent items back that where too cold we assume (given they were not steak we assume they wanted the item heated up more).

Waiters keep an eye out for their tables so they can respond quickly if the customer needs something.

Customers are done, check delivered, and within 5 minutes they leave.

Average time from start to finish: 1:05

2014:

Customers walk in.

Customers get seated and is given menus, out of 45 customers 18 requested to be seated elsewhere.

Before even opening the menu they take their phones out, some are taking photos while others are simply doing something else on their phone (sorry we have no clue what they are doing and do not monitor customer WIFI activity).

7 out of the 45 customers had waiters come over right away, they showed them something on their phone and spent an average of 5 minutes of the waiter’s time. Given this is recent footage, we asked the waiters about this and they explained those customers had a problem connecting to the WIFI and demanded the waiters try to help them.

Finally the waiters are walking over to the table to see what the customers would like to order. The majority have not even opened the menu and ask the waiter to wait a bit.

Customer opens the menu, places their hands holding their phones on top of it and continue doing whatever on their phone.

Waiter returns to see if they are ready to order or have any questions. The customer asks for more time.

Finally they are ready to order.

Total average time from when the customer was seated until they placed their order 21 minutes.

Food starts getting delivered within 6 minutes, obviously the more complex items take way longer.

26 out of 45 customers spend an average of 3 minutes taking photos of the food.

14 out of 45 customers take pictures of each other with the food in front of them or as they are eating the food. This takes on average another 4 minutes as they must review and sometimes retake the photo.

9 out of 45 customers sent their food back to reheat. Obviously if they didn’t pause to do whatever on their phone the food wouldn’t have gotten cold.

27 out of 45 customers asked their waiter to take a group photo. 14 of those requested the waiter retake the photo as they were not pleased with the first photo. On average this entire process between the chit chatting and reviewing the photo taken added another 5 minutes and obviously caused the waiter not to be able to take care of other tables he/she was serving.

Given in most cases the customers are constantly busy on their phones it took an average of 20 minutes more from when they were done eating until they requested a check. Furthermore once the check was delivered it took 15 minutes longer than 10 years ago for them to pay and leave.

8 out of 45 customers bumped into other customers or in one case a waiter (texting while walking) as they were either walking in or out of the Restaurant.

Average time from start to finish: 1:55

We are grateful for everyone who comes into our restaurant, after all there are so many choices out there. But can you please be a bit more considerate?

 

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Creepy Craigslister Wants to Pay $175 for ‘Woman-Flavored’ Ramen

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If a stranger offered nearly $200 just for you to sit in a tub, you might think he was a pervert. A Peeping Tom. A creep who’d recreate the ending of Psycho faster than you could ask why on earth the tub has ramen noodles in it. But judging by a recent ad on Craigslist, it would seem there’s actually a totally legitimate, totally non-murdery reason someone would make such a request. Like, say, wanting his dinner to taste like “woman.”

A few days ago, a Craigslist posting surfaced in New York offering (under “talent gigs,” no less) $175 for a woman to sit in a bath full of ramen noodles wearing nothing but a bathing suit. The lucky gal would pick up the keys at another location, proceed to the poster’s home, and enjoy the next 30 minutes alone in sweet, salted, slippery bliss. She wouldn’t even have to taste good, per se. As the ad notes, the poster would season the sauce himself prior to dinner.

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Assuming no one was killed in the end, this actually doesn’t sound like too bad a gig — $200 for 30 minutes worth of work. It might be worth noting though that similar ads have popped up before back in February this year and again in 2009, which tells you a lot about the job security. Eeek.

Categories
Humor

LOL: Drunk Guy/Gal Steals Cat, Confesses on Craigslist

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You gotta love the thoughts you have when only half your neurons are firing. Yes, you can get that girl’s number. Yes, you can jump that far. Yes, you should totally steal your neighbor’s cat.

Last Saturday, a well-meaning dipsomaniac from Chico, Calif. apparently stumbled around on a quest to liberate stray felines from homelessness. Trouble (you know aside from being drunk and a cat person) was that at some point our hero “accidentally” picked up a housecat named Duh-Jan-Go and took him home. You can see how that little mission panned out for yourself here:

(Click to enlarge)

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“If anyone is missing a cat name Django (pronounced Jango the D is silent) I stole him last night. Not on purpose, I was extremely intoxicated and thought he was just some random stray I was rescuing. It was not until this morning when I was haphazardly going for a glass of water that I remembered I took the cat and noticed that he a collar. Django is a very frisky black cat, he also has very sleepy eyes and appears to be stoned although I don’t think he is. If Django belongs to you I would like to give him back, I have been feeding him cheese all morning and I really don’t want him to shit all over my apartment. So please feel free to get back to me and get your cat back. Thanks! And sorry for stealing him (on accident)”

One commenter on Thought Catalog has since come forward proclaiming herself the cat thief in question, proving that everyone has stupid drunk friends to not talk them out of their stupid drunk decisions. Luckily she says the cat made it home and actually happened to belong to someone in the neighboring apartment complex. Let’s just hope we can keep our own consciences as clean as hers come Monday. Meow.

H/T + PicThx Reddit