Crucifixion Corn Dogs Are Real, and Just the Right Amount of Wrong


If seven-year-old Michael Procopio had a choice, this is what he’d serve after Easter Mass. Not blessed wafers that taste like sandals. Not bottomless, watered-down mimosas. No, if little Mikey P. called the shots, he’d know that Easter Sunday called for something better – something “delicious and filling” that “would still remind us of Christ’s suffering with each and every mouthful.” The answer would come easily – so easily, in fact, you’d think its inspiration was almost divine: Crucifixion Corn Dogs.

Citing the Catholic doctrines of Transubstantiation (the belief that the bread and wine become the actual body and blood of Christ) and fasting before the Eucharist as inspiration for the recipe, the Food for Thoughtless blogger mused that his Crucifixion Dogs would be “more substantial than a communion wafer, and more delicious, too,” but that “given the nature of hot dogs, you still won’t be certain from which part of the body they came.”

All it takes is a pair of wooden chopsticks, coffee stirrers to serve as crossbeams and a healthy amount of impiety to create your very own deep fried, mustard-drizzled model of Christ.


The most outstanding feature of the recipe, however, aside from Procopio’s mad mustard drawing skills, is his writing, which is made of equal parts deadpan reverence and unabashed snark. Par example, step four:

“4. Dip one crucifix into the batter, coating well. The batter should be firm and giving, but not run. If it is too dry, add a little milk. Too runny, add a little more flour. The batter is as forgiving as He is. Gently shake off any excess and lay directly into the pot of hot oil. Fry on one side for about 1 1/2 minutes. Using tongs, gently turn its other cheek and fry for the same amount of time. On the third minute, let it rise from the oil and rest on a shroud of paper towels to cool. Repeat until all crucifixes are battered and fried.

And his serving suggestion:

“Serves 8. To serve multitudes, pray over this recipe’s ingredients for as long as needed if you are perfect and without sin. For everyone else, multiply the recipe by hand.”


For anyone who’d rather shy away from blasphemy or who’s looking for something a little more secular, though, Procopio offers this alternative: “If the idea of squirting a mustard Jesus onto your corn dog makes you uncomfortable, you can still stay in theme by creating a condiment version of The Penitent Thief. Or The Impenitent one, if that is more your style.”

Historically accurate (?) foodstuffs, FTW.

Check out the full recipe here.

H/T + PicThx Laughing Squid


Dip These Mini Corn Dog Muffins in Sriracha Sauce


This simple recipe puts a spin on the classic corn dog while using a bit of imagination and ingenuity in the process. The traditionally corny batter is given a makeover with the addition of green chilies for a hint of spice but not overwhelmingly so — that task is left to America’s new favorite condiment, Sriracha. Yes, these bite sized morsels are paired with spicy sriracha sauce for dipping, just in case you felt the need to eat a fireball. Did I mention everything is placed inside a mini muffin tin and baked in the oven?! Too cutes.

So for the love of county fairs, crack out the cobwebbed muffin tins you once believed to be useless and give this one a shot! Peep the recipe here.

H/T Tablespoon


2012 Fair Food Sneak Peak — Deep Fried Beer Battered Bacon Hot Dog on a Stick

deep fried beer battered bacon wrapped hot dog on a stick

Mike Peterson of the Deep Fried Butter Stand gave FOODBEAST an exclusive sneak peek of what people can expect at the Fairgrounds next year — Deep Fried Beer Battered Bacon Hot Dog On A Stick (catchy acronym: DFBBBHDOAS). Because Deep Fried Beer Battered Bacon just wasn’t a long enough title to feature on Fair signage.

For those of you who like to keep up on trends for fair foods, expect this bad boy to make its round, in similar vein to the popularity of this year’s deep fried Kool-Aid.

That’s right folks next year you can order the chocolate covered corn dog, deep fried butter and now the DFBBBHDOAS for your whole family!

deep fried beer battered bacon wrapped hot dog on a stick

deep fried beer battered bacon wrapped hot dog on a stick nacho cheese

Mike Peterson OC Fair Beer Battered Bacon


Chocolate-covered Corn Dogs

We live within walking distance of a grocery store. Not that I actually walk there (last time I was mauled by fire ants), but it being in close proximity to my house, I’m there several times a week.

And regardless of what’s on my list, there are always four aisles that I’m going to visit (unless I really have to pee): baking, chips/snacks, frozen snacks, and ice cream. The first three aisles are for you; the last one is for me.

While trawling the frozen snacks aisle earlier this week, my ever-wandering eye landed upon a gold mine—a mini, oblong, pig-filled gold mine.

Mini corn dogs!! Perfect for covering in chocolate! Although, I feel that way about pretty much everything, don’t I?

As is the case for most things that I cover in chocolate, the ingredients and recipe are significantly cheaper and easier than flying to Korea.

Chocolate Covered Mini Corn Dogs


–          1 pkg (20 count) mini corn dogs

–          chocolate baking bark (it took about 5 squares to coat them all)


1. Heat corn dogs according to package. (I sooooo put them in the microwave.)

2. Slice each corn dog in half. (Better chocolate-to-dog ratio.)

3. Melt bark and coat corn dogs.

4. Chill until set.

Are you familiar with Entenmann’s Frosted Mini Donuts? Good stuff, right? Well, these are just like those. Oh, but with, like, a hot dog in them.

As expected with a treat such as these, there were 3 camps: the these-are-awesome group (my favorite people), the eh-these-aren’t-the-best group (thanks for trying them), and the you-can’t-make-me-eat-that group (laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame).

Helpful hint: If you are hesitant to try one, don’t look at it while you are eating it. I heard that helps.

Oh, and before I go, I have a riddle for you: What makes a chocolate-covered corn dog even better? The same thing that makes a regular corn dog better: dipping it in mustard!!!

Seriously though, the addition of mustard was crescent fresh—as is my friend Cody who suggested it.

For more corny confections, visit The Cereal Baker.


Corn Dog Factory: Do-It-Yourself Corn Dog Skillet

One piece of the carnival food game you don’t often see recreated in your home kitchen is the corn dog. With this Corn Dog Factory skillet, no need to limit your corn dog consumption to frozen food varieties or trips to the fair, with some batter, dogs and a stick, you can now enjoy them at home!


Wienerschnitzel’s $50,000 “Cash in on a Corn Dog” Sweepstakes

Taking a low-key approach to the Willy Wonka sweepstakes approach, Wienerschnitzel is offering up a 79-cent corn dog contest that will give one  lucky winner $10,000 and the rest of their customers an overall prize pool worth over $50,000. In an attempt to get more consumers to enjoy Schnitzel’s corn dog product, one lucky corn dog customer will run into a winning corn dog stick worth $10,000. Make sure not to throw away that stick next time you finish up chewing the batter off a corn dog stick, it might be worth a pretty penny!



Footlong Corn Dog

I don’t know what is happening with foot long foods! The Carl’s Jr. footlong cheeseburger, Subway’s famous footlong, and now Juicys footlong corn dog!  It is crazy big, honestly it’s a behemoth! Check out these twelve inches of fried pork goodness at the OC Fair!


Cream Soda Battered Corn Dogs

This is basically a whole meal on a stick! These consists of regular corn dogs which have been wrapped with bacon and dipped in egg, buttermilk, cornmeal, baking soda, bacon drippings, and cream soda batter! Very interesting play on flavors! (Thx CTC)