The dreaded drunk text can get you in a lot of trouble, as a simple thought that pops into your head after a night out drinking, can turn into a morning of, “Why the f*ck did I say that!”
The severity of a drunk texts can vary, from channeling your inner-Drake and hitting up your ex, to thinking it’s a fantastic idea to snap a photo of your endowment and send it off to multiple girls, including your mom.
Whatever the case, the deeds are done and you have to live with your inebriated decisions. Thankfully Reddit users were kind enough to share some of their most embarrassing drunk texts, making us laught, cry and mostly cringe.
It’s hard not to press “send” sometimes, but one thing’s for sure, you wake up with a good story to tell when you do.
She get it from her mama
Texted some girls mom, “hey” thinking it was her. Mom texted back “hey tupnado21, this is her mom.”
To which I replied, “that’s okay you’re hot too.”
Regrettable pause… No response…
Panic text follow up,
“I mean, I think you’re sexy for an old lady!” -Tupnado21
Your Mom has seen your junk before, but still…
“I was drunk at my friends house party. I found a phone on the floor, and decided to take a pic of my dick and send it to the person’s mother. next day, when i sobered up, My mom asked me “why did you send me a picture of your dick?”’ -awais66
That’s one way to do it
“It was horribly spelled and grammar was shit but i was trying to send a text to my boyfriend that was something along the lines of “When I get home i’m going to maul the shit of of your privates and your going to fuck me like a dog in heat”
Sent it to my brother, that’s how I basically came out of the closet to my brother.” -CommonwealthRaider
What a kumquat
“Once I asked a girl if she would eat my cum. After she turned down the offer, I said “Fine, more for me.” -myheartreddit
His Ex had a “Tree Phase”
“I got drunk one night a few years ago and blacked out. Woke up to find I had had a conversation with my ex-girlfriend who I hadn’t spoken to in a year. I have since gotten a new phone but here are some of the highlights I remember:
Me: *sends picture of a duck* lol us
Her: It’s been a year, Mellow, what the hell do you want?
Me: I took the midnight train going anywhere
Her: We were so good together. Why did you have to break my heart?
Me: I couldn’t stand your damn “I’m attracted to trees” phase
Her: IT WAS NOT A PHASE
Me: Fine, be that way, potato.
*20 minutes later*
Me: Lol this movie is backwards
Her: Are you drunk?
Me: A little bit. I’m watching this cool movie called Mento’s you want to come over?
Her: I live five states away
Me: Lol okay bye
I never spoke to her again.” -MellowMocker
Winner winner, chicken dinner
“I was high, but i sent a picture of the fried chicken i was about to eat to my mom saying “look at this delicious fucker right here, lol no chicken for u” -RatHead6661
Ate 3 boxes of peeps on Easter and took the nastiest shit. Tried texting a pic to my group of guy friends but instead sent it to the girl I had been dating for 3 weeks. 2 years later she still brings it up. ~ Hollinator007
It was like 3 am and I was chilling with my fraternity brothers. We were schmacked out of our minds and I decided to text my ex girlfriend who I broke up with (she wanted to get back together). I said hey and she immediately texted back hi. To which I replied
“Siiiiike” and never texted her again.
She was not a happy camper. -HuntingSpoon
This message is Red Forman approved
“My dad’s totally gonna know I’m drunk and high” sent text to my dad… He responded, “I do now, you dumb ass.” -D_rotic
“I love your tits”
Sent to my Mum.
Guys, if you’re sexting a girl while drunk, make sure her name doesn’t start with “L” or “N” – they’re way too close to “M” for “Mum”.
Damn you for making my life awkward Naomi. -Maccas75
Sleep fixes everything
Wanted to get some tail and decided to text two girls instead of texting them separately I texted them together in a group chat… in the group chat they both texted “who’s the other person in this chat?” I didn’t answer and went to sleep.
“’Yo you’re really cool and all but someone couldn’t pay me enough money to fuck you’
Sent to my very close friends girlfriend.” -SpyderCompany
*CRINGES IN SPANISH*
Got home from a long night of partying in my early 20’s. Grabbed my phone and decided to hit up the ex-gf for some regretful drunken sex. I sent a pretty descriptive text to her ‘ Hey. I want you. I want to blank your blank, flip you around and blank you in the blank and then blank all over your blank’ etc etc. Get a text back ‘I don’t think that’s legal, son. Go to bed’
tl;dr — texted my mom for disgusting drunken sex.” -Moufassah