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We Found Out What BBQ Cologne Tastes Like, It’s Also Flammable

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Ah, the scent of summer barbecues  is enough to send shivers of nostalgia down our spines. So, when someone sent us literal barbecue cologne in the mail, we were excited and yes, a little wary.

The not-so-subtly named “Que” scent promises “an intoxicating bouquet of spices, smoke, meat and sweet summer sweat.” Ladies, are you impressed yet? Naturally, something so ambitious deserved the full Foodbeast treatment. So we went about the office and sprayed it on lucky unsuspecting chaps, gave it a good ol’ taste test (thanks for taking one for the team, Rudy) and used it to light sh*t on fire:

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Drink to That!: Whiskey Cologne Exists

whiskey-scent-cologne

There’s sushi cologne, egg nog cologne and even Pizza Hut’s got their own scent. Naturally, this whiskey cologne was inevitable.

Although, I’m not too sure how most ladies will take to smelling whiskey breath on a gentleman’s dermis. It’s a bit . . . unexpected but hey, everyone loves Jameson neat (and if you don’t, then poo!) so perhaps a few sprays of eau de whiskey can’t hurt. I imagine this scent by perfumier Commodity leaves the more robust flavors of the liquor behind, while playing up its subtle notes of sweet honey, malted barley and smokey oak.

That, or you could end up reeking of your local dive bar’s happy hour. If that’s the case, some of Commodity’s more lowkey scents might do — Mimosa, Tea and Book, for instance. I, for one, need to get my hands on this peculiarly named “Book” cologne. I’ve always had a thing for the smell of musky libraries. Go figure.

Whiskey Cologne (100ml bottle) $65 Pre-order @Commodity 

H/T Incredible Things

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Egg Nog Cologne Smells Like ‘Nutmeg and a Dash of Cinnamon’

Just in time for that last Christmas party, the Demeter Fragrance Library is here with Egg Nog Cologne. Their “delightful, creamy concoction with touches of nutmeg and a dash of cinnamon” is sure to have your fellow partygoers dying to get drunk from the creamy goodness emanating from every corner of your body.

For those seeking a more private experience with l’eau de egg nog, they also offer a shower gel, massage oil and calming body lotion for more intimate moments of food-related sexiness.

The scent loses authenticity points for forgoing the alcoholic kick so beloved in egg nog, but Demeter going with the virgin recipe was probably for the best, otherwise the fragrance would be more Annoying Alcoholic Uncle than cozy old Egg Nog.

Egg Nog cologne @ Amazon

via Demeter Fragrance Library

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Sushi Cologne is Apparently a Real Thing

On paper, food colognes should make a lot of sense. Food smells good. Perfumes and colognes also smell good. So why is it that every time I try to imagine a sushi-scented cologne, I get dizzy and seasick and want to tell someone to make better life decisions?

Oh right. Because they’d smell like fish.

But if you’re totally fine with pissing everyone off within a 3 foot radius, this Sushi cologne by Demeter has apparently been around for a while now. Which shouldn’t be too surprising, considering their scent repertoire includes such concoctions as Dirt, Crayon and Laundromat. But it’s still bizarre enough to warrant a capital WTF. Question mark. Exclamation point. Exclamation point. Question mark.

And okay, so according to the cologne’s website, “Sushi” doesn’t actually smell like fish per se, consisting instead of “just cooked sticky rice and straight from the seaside seaweed, laced with hints of ginger and lemon essences.” But anything outside of a Japanese restaurant that reminds me I’m not currently eating sushi is still enough to be annoying.

For shame madam, for shame.

Demeter 4 oz. Sushi Cologne: $20 @ Amazon

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Bacōn Cologne Is a Reality “Scent By The Gods”

By fargginay, Bacōn Cologne is a tri-leveled, ‘sophisticated’ aroma available in two varieties Bacōn Classic and Bacōn Gold. Their Bacōn Classic is characterized as a spicy maple aroma while their Bacōn Gold notes a memorable sizzling citrus. The aromas are branded to be very nuanced, maintaining a “top, middle and bottom notes.” Comprised of essential oils, flowers, herbs and the essence of bacon, bacon highlights the bottom note, leaving unsuspecting noses with a curious hint of meat.

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Hit-Or-Miss

Meat-Scented Body Spray: Burger King "Flame"

Just when you thought Burger King’s promotional tactics couldn’t be beaten, they beat themselves. Now, if you’re trying to smell like a man, and like a slab of flame-broiled meat, Burger King has released a cologne for you: “Flame”. This new body scent for men (and for those rambunctious females) is now readily available as a gift for Christmas, and at the highly affordable price of $3.99, it’s time to start thinking “stocking stuffers”. As of now, the scent is currently available at Ricky’s via their online store. Eat on…err….smell…damn.