Categories
Humor

Sounds Reasonable: Japanese Cafe Sometimes Closed Due to ‘Hangovers,’ ‘Witch Attacks,’ and ‘Feeling Kind of Sad Today’

hangover1

Ask anyone for a single reason they didn’t want to come to work today, and you’ll probably end up with a list of at least ten or twelve. But it’s a rare employer who’ll actually grant you a day off simply because you were “feeling kind of sad.”

To the folks at the Ajiyoshi cafe in Tsukuba, Japan, however, being down in the dumps is a totally legitimate reason to play hooky. As is “the summer heat being […] too much to take,” “eating too many grilled chicken skewers,” and “magic attack-related back pain.”

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According to Japanese news site Rocket News, the notoriously easy-going, mom-n-pop cafe Ajiyoshi has been known to close its doors on a whim frequently throughout the years, but always with good reason, as proven by the chalkboard sign outside or the restaurant’s Twitter feed.

Some of our favorites include:

“We’re feeling kind of sad today. So, we’re closed.”

“We totally screwed up cooking one of our side dishes. So, we’re closed.”

“A witch attacked us out of the blue. We’re in bed with magic attack-related back pain.”

“Hungover. Try again tomorrow.”

“We ate too many grilled chicken skewers yesterday. Sorry, we’re gonna have to take the day off.”

Can you say dream job?

PicThx Rocket News

Categories
Sweets

‘Twinkie Apocalypse’ – How We Killed the Twinkie

So Hostess Brands, the makers of your cherished Twinkies, Ho Hos and Sno Balls, finally went under today. Sadface. But while nearly every other news source is posting up quick DIY Twinkie recipes to help you prep for the impending Twink-pocalypse, we’ve gotta be real for a second. None of you liked Twinkies all that much anyway.

Sure, there’s a Twinkie Facebook page, and yeah, there was Woody Harrelson’s character in Zombieland, but when was the last time you – yeah, you – went out and picked up a pack yourself?

Now before we get too crazy, let me just say this – I don’t blame you. Really, I don’t. Since before the turn of the century, we’ve all had the Atkins and South Beaches and Shaun T’s breathing down our backs, judging us as we peruse the snack aisles of our local 7-11s. And at 300 calories a pack and $1.50ish for two, Twinkies didn’t do much to help themselves survive, either. But the fact nevertheless is this: we did this to ourselves. We, as a collective Super Size Me, P90X, burst-housing-bubble society, effectively killed the Twinkie. Thanks a lot Jared.

As it stands, there is still a chance that someone – anyone – could buy out all of Hostess’s properties and rebuild the packaged pastry giant from scratch , but unless they make a conscious effort to health-ify their products (and really, who would want a “healthy” Twinkie?), chances are it wouldn’t help much.

The way I see it though, all this fuss is just a case of not knowing what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone. Kinda the same way everyone started wearing Michael Jackson shirts a few summers back. But let’s not beat a dead horse, and let’s certainly not pay $5000 for a single freaking Twinkie. After all, Twinkies had a good run, but this death has been long-a-coming, even before their Chapter 11 bankruptcy, even before the worker’s strike. So go ahead, make your DIY vanilla crème sponge cakes. Hoard all the grocery store packs you can find. Just don’t pretend you didn’t see this coming.