Full disclosure: I am female, I went to Catholic elementary school, I followed the business and not the health pathway in high school, I took psychology for my science GE and I had to google what a “vasectomy” was for this article, just to be safe.
But now that I know – apparently the Urology Associates of Cape Cod clinic in Cape Cod, Mass. is offering fellas free pizzas for severing the tubes that carry sperm from the testicles, as a promotion for March Madness.
“We want the patient to rest for two or three days after the procedure,” Evan Cohen, practice coordinator for the clinic, told ABC News, “This way they can put their feet up, watch a game and have a pizza.”
Apparently the promotion works, as 30 men have already signed up for the deal this year — which expires April 6 along with the end of the NCAA basketball finals — as of last Thursday.
I like to believe guys go to these kinds of things together, as a form of “male bonding.” They ask for rooms right next to each other and use the waiting room magazines to send Snapchats of all the chicks they’ll now be able to bang guilt-free and, once it’s all over, they call up all their guy friends to meet them at the bar for beers and pizzas and hanging celebration signs wishing them “Happy Vasectomy,” whilst slapping each other’s bums.
Meanwhile other clinics scramble to develop a “for her” pizza made of pink and flowers and sparkles, because that’s the way the world works.