Drunk Guy Strips Down And Poops On Supermarket Checkout Counter

Some people get so drunk that they end up doing something stupid, thus metaphorically shitting the bed. One man in particular got so far beyond that level of drunk that he decided to shit the counter…more specifically, the checkout counter at Kroger. Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 11.28.51 AM

Colin Murphy, a 23-year-old muppet-looking hipster with the world’s most Irish name, walked into the Hyde Park Kroger right outside of Cincinnati on Sunday, May 29, reeking of booze and slurring his words. According to the police report, Murphy “entered Kroger Hyde Park and stripped naked in front of employee.”

After, presumably, swinging his dick around at everybody like he was waving to a friend from afar, Murphy then hopped up onto the self-checkout counter, also known as the “U-Scan It,” and proceeded to drop a fat deuce right on the scanner. Legend says that the scanner somehow picked up a barcode and priced it at $1.49 a pound.

Shortly after this entire fecal debacle, Murphy was found and arrested. Police charged him with disorderly conduct and public indecency.



Photo Credit: Online Athens, The Smoking Gun


A Look at Max & Erma’s “Garbage Burger”

Max & Erma’s, the same midwest chain out of Columbus, OH running the Free Cookies Wednesday deal is also home to a questionably ridiculous menu item dubbed the Garbage Burger. The burger is advertised to have “everything but the kitchen sink,” piled high with hickory-smoked bacon, cheddar, Swiss, American & mozzarella cheeses; grilled onions, sauteed mushrooms, guacamole & marinara (really?!).

What y’all think of this flavor combo? Something you would try? Have you tried it?


Floating Ohio River Restaurant Breaks Free and Floats Away With Customers On Board

I guess you’re toying with nature when your restaurant’s draw is that it floats on the Ohio River. In the case of Jeff Ruby’s floating restaurant, Watefront, he may not want to reopen the same establishment that floated away on him this past Friday night. According to a report out of the Cincinnati, 100 people were on board the Waterfront when it detached from its Ohio River moorings on Friday.