April is the cruelest month. With lilacs dying off because of the bipolar weather, worrying over an array of tax forms and having an existential crisis as you realize how scant your income has been this past year really puts a damper on things.
However, while you scrounge out those old receipts to find any form of a tax benefit, there are some companies out there that have you in mind.
Whether you need some tropical shaved ice to cool you off or a free pizza with a big ass mouse, this tax day doesn’t have to be as dire as it might seem.
Here are a few spots offering a deal on that fateful Tuesday:
The 1977 classically American cookie company is once again sharing some sweetness on a bitter day by giving away one free Cookies & Cream cookie to any individual aware of the deal. Although you don’t need any proof of taxes to receive the cookie, the sullen, groggy, and broken look will fare as evidence.
While it might not be the first place you would run to, Hot Dog on a Stick is still attempting to alleviate any stress the day might bring by offering one veggie or turkey dog to each customer. Nothing amazing, but if you happen to be in a mall and you see one, now you know.
Okay, this one is amazing. You get an entire large pizza for free with a purchase of one large pizza from April 18-20. I don’t know if you remember these pizzas, but they tasted like how playing Mortal Kombat against the big, sweaty competitive kid and then beating him felt. I mean, you have to have a kid to get in, but that’s not a problem, just go to the Party City that’s invariably across the street and find one.
This one is pretty delicious. Anyone who follows the scent of these succulent little morsels to the source will be treated with two Cinnabon bites. While it might not be worth it to go out of your way to get only two of these tiny little dudes, consider the fact that most of the deals on this page can be found in a mall, so just go to a mall and take in the sweet tax day deals.
Though locations are sparse, this is a pizza joint on a level above Little Caesars and they’re giving away a one topping medium pizza for 15 cents with the purchase of a one-topping large pizza at regular menu price using the promo code 18TAXDAY. The deal is valid for online carryout purchases only through 4/15-4/17 at participating locations. Can’t really go wrong with pizza for 15 cents.
If you’re craving something more Italian than pizza, then look no further than Piada Italian Street Food which will be handing out a free blackberry lemonade with every purchase on Tuesday.
So if you’re on the West Coast this isn’t a great deal, mainly because there are no locations there. However, if you’re close to one of these shops, try to get their app and sign up for their perks program. Customers who sign up for Potbelly Perks by downloading the Potbelly app (iPhone / Android) or online will receive a free sandwich (the free sandwich offer ends until 75,000 sandwiches have been given away). Those already enrolled in Potbelly Perks can enjoy a BOGO Sandwich that will automatically load in to the app for redemption on Tax Day (April 17). For a fast food sandwich joint, this one knows what it’s doing, and what it’s doing is delicious sandwiches.
For when you don’t feel like moving too much after you’ve experienced once again how bleak your economic life is, Sonic is the place to go. Without even stepping outside of your car — hell you can even keep the car going and listen to a podcast about why living a healthy life is the key to stability — all while chowing down on a half-priced burger at any time of the day, because this is America.
The traditional shaved ice company is hoping to help the hot headed tax payers by offering a free cup of shaved ice on their National “Chill Out” day, which is really just tax day. If you like shaved ice, this aint’ a bad pit-stop on your Tuesday.
Finally, something that’ll actually help everyone in misery. For $6 you can get a pretty average blueberry or pineapple margarita from this fine establishment. Hey think about it, you get a pretty significant amount back for your taxes in a few weeks, right? Just consider it already in the bank and use this time in life to reflect. No better place to do that than Chili’s at like 11 AM, sitting next to a 70 year-old woman wearing stilettos, with a chihuahua in her leather purse, who smells vaguely like your grandmother’s dishwasher.
Well, that’s basically all of the deals you’ll want to consider. I mean there’s other stuff, like Quizno’s, but it isn’t worth it. If you have to be a member of something to get a deal that’ll save you a whopping $4 on an average sandwich, that might just stress you out more.