Hit-Or-Miss Humor

This Chinese Restaurant Awards Free Meals To Skinny Patrons

We’ve seen promotions where people dress up like cows or even utter a certain phrase to obtain a deal, but this might be the first time we’ve seen a restaurant make customers squeeze their way into free food.

Mr Zhao La Chufang in eastern China has a metal gate at the entrance where each opening is smaller than the last.

If a customer can squeeze through the smallest set of bars, they earn a free meal and beer.

That gap is about 6 inches, and according to owner Zhao Lang, only women have been able to get through and earn a free meal, according to Weird Wild World.

If you get through the 7-inch gap, you can still get yourself five free beers, which sounds better than the grand prize. The gap next to that is about 10 inches, which is way easier, and can still win you a free beer.

That next gap is almost 12 inches wide, and comes with more of an insult than anything, with the sign atop reading, “Your figure is just average, you shouldn’t ask for more.” The last tier is the easiest to get through, and all that earns you is another snarky sign that reads, “Are you sure you should be drinking beer?”

Lang claims that the challenge first started because the pollen outside forced them to leave the door open halfway, leading customers to squeezing in through the door.

That somehow translated into an obstacle course for its diners.

Lang also said that this isn’t so much fat shaming, but a way for people to be more mindful of their eating habits.

I’m not sure if that would fly here in the U.S., but Chinese restaurants has been known to reward guests by their appearance in the past. There was the restaurant that scanned customer faces and gave out free meals to those deemed “pretty.” There was also the Chinese restaurant that rewarded both its big and thin customers.

It’s an interesting gimmick, to say the least, and it doesn’t look like anyone’s feelings are hurt, since it’s voluntary. I’d still like to see a chubby-friendly promotion, though.


This Chinese Restaurant Gives Free Meals to Pretty People


A restaurant in Zhengzhou, China is stirring up controversy for it’s “pay by face” policy where good looking people eat for free.


The hot pot restaurant, whose name we translated to “Good looking people get free meals,” employs a council of people from a local plastic surgery clinic who judge patrons brave enough to scan their faces on the restaurant’s computer.


Based on the judges, it might be right to consider this a “people who’ve had plastic surgery eat for free” dining establishment.


The board details the rubric for what is good looking — having the right color lips, the correct proportion between your mouth and nose, a pointy nose, and a decent gap between your eyes and eyebrows might just land you a free meal.


The top five “good looking” people in 30-minutes are offered a free meal, and scores are posted publicly on the second floor of the restaurant.


Sometimes it pays to be good looking. Other times, society is just horrible for allowing plastic surgeons to dictate the standards for what is good looking or not for something as dumb as free hot pot. Still, who would test their face out at this restaurant?


Written by NextShark‘s Sebastian Dillon || Source: Shanghaiist


Harvard Business Professor Declares War on Family-Run Chinese Restaurant That Overcharged Him $4


UPDATE: This guy has done this before with another restaurant!

Things we’ve all experienced at a Chinese restaurant: being inexplicably yelled at by the restaurant’s servers/owners/cooks, finding new species of insects in your food and drinks, and being overcharged. When any of those things happen, you’re supposed to freak out, make a scene and then come back for more MSG later when you think they forgot you were that one bun dan who freaked out and made a scene.

Well, apparently, Harvard Business School associate professor Ben Edelman didn’t get the memo on how to act. After ordering $53.35 worth of takeout at Sichuan Garden in Boston’s Brookline Village, Edelman found that he had been accidentally overcharged a whopping $4 upon his arrival home, according to Edelman then put his Harvard degrees to work against the business in a series of righteous emails with Ran Duan, whose parents founded Sichuan Garden.

Read Edelman’s emails below, wherein he tries to squeeze the restaurant out of $12 for overcharging him $4, and is just a general, total and complete fuckface. Duan, meanwhile, gets an A+ for not pulling a Bac Nguyen.



Duan told about the exchange:

“I have worked so hard to make my family proud and to elevate our business. It just broke my heart.”

Written by Alan Van for NextShark


These Asian Restaurateurs Have No Time for Stoners

God, I love Chinese people who own restaurants.

A treasure of an ad from the New Zealand Transport Agency capitalized on the innate hilarity/adorableness of an elderly Chinese couple who own a takeout restaurant to warn against “drug driving.”


The Chinese woman in the ad bluntly (how else do Chinese people communicate?) tells a customer who has clearly been smoking “naughty cigarettes,” “Hey, you’re too slow. You have a crispy duck. Sit down!”

Will you be my BFF, Chinese woman in New Zealand Transport Agency? I promise I’ll come to your restaurant when I’m stoned and order every single item that doesn’t have a roach (the insect kind) in it and not stare at your cat. Deal?

This story originally written by Alan Van for NextShark