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This Crazy Dude Lifts Three Cases Of Beer With His Penis [WATCH]

The feats human beings are capable of never cease to amaze me. What amazes me even more than these feats is the thought process that leads to them coming to fruition.

One Chinese daredevil decided to show off his “skills” by lifting three crates of beer using his womb broom. That’s right. Homeboy whipped out his spam javelin, tied it to three crates of beer and then put on a dick-swinging clinic for the good people in the room.

Granted, the naked man had some sort of standard harness attached to his muff marauder, which leads many people to believe that he could be faking it. Still, I tend to believe that if you’re attaching anything to your jurassic pork, you’re probably the type that’s willing to prove it. Guys don’t just attach things to their poon pillager unless they intend for people to see it.



Photo Source: YouTube


For His 10th Drunk Driving Charge, This Man Used Beer-Battered Fish As An Excuse


Back in October 2014, a man in Wisconsin was pulled over for a DUI. He then gave the officer a pretty fishy excuse: it was the beer-battered fish that did him in.

Obviously no jury bought that.

John Przybyla had a blood alcohol level of .062. While this was below the state’s limit, it was over the limit for those with three or more drunk driving convictions. This was Przybyla’s 10th drunk driving charge.

When pulled over, he told the officer that he was drunk off a beer-battered fish he had eaten before he was stopped.

According to WILX, the 76-year-old Przybyla was now found guilty of operating a vehicle while intoxicated, operating with a prohibited alcohol concentration and operating with a revoked license.

Przybyla is facing up to 12.5 years in prison.


How Salmonella Poisoning Just Cost This Restaurant $11 Million


A federal judge is ordering a restaurant to pay $11.4 million to a man who got food poisoning while dining at the establishment. In 2010, a Nebraska man contracted salmonella from eating at an Old Country Buffet during a dinner with his wife.

KGAB reports that U.S. District Court Judge Scott Skavdahl awarded the couple the damages after writing of the husband’s numerous surgeries and procedures after dining at the buffet in Casper, NE.

Skavdahl states that Christopher Gage is in daily pain and cannot eat or drink water without throwing up. The majority of his meals end in him vomiting. Gage has also lost his mobility and his cognitive functioning has been significantly impacted.

Damages to Gage include abdominal cramping, diarrhea, vomiting, fever, dehydration, acute kidney failure, sepsis, acute lactic acidosis, anemia, thromocytophenia and partial fibrillation.

A day after Gage got sick, the Laramie County Health Department cited the restaurant for numerous health code violations.

Old Country Buffet is operated by Ovation Brands who could not be reached for comments.



Man Boiled To Death In Horrific Tuna Accident, Bumble Bee Foods Forced To Pay BIG TIME


In 2012, an employee of Bumble Bee Foods died as a result of being cooked alive in an industrial oven. Now, years later, a settlement has finally been reached in the record sum of $6 million. This makes it the largest criminal prosecution case for safety violations in a workplace involving a single victim in California.

Jose Melena was doing some maintenance work on a large industrial oven at the canned-tuna factory in Santa Fe Springs, Calif. Another worker, believing Melena was on a break, filled the cooker with 12,000 pounds of tuna and turned on the machine.

When management noticed the 62-year-old employee was missing, they conducted a search across the plant and property. The California Division of Occupational Safety and Health (OSHA) reports that Melena’s body was found two hours after. Tragically, the pressure cooker had already reached a temperature of 270 degrees Fahrenheit.

RT reports that the settle meant will be divided up into multiple parts.

  • The company will use $3 million to update any outdated tuna ovens and will bring in automated ones with video cameras, so that no worker will ever have to set foot inside the cookers again.
  • Melena’s family will receive $1.5 million in restituation.
  • Bumble Bee will also donate $750,000 to the Distrcit Attonrey’s Environmental Enforcement Fun for the investegation and the prosecution of OSHA criminal cases .
  • Finally, an additional $750,000 will go towards combined fees, court costs and penalties.

Bumble Bee Foods will also plead guilty to the misdemeanor charge of willful failure to implement and maintain an effect safety program within 18 months of complying with the terms of the settlement agreement.

The two managers in charge at the time of Melena’s death were also charged with counts of OSHA violation.



Major Canned Tuna Company Is Facing Charges After A Worker Gets Boiled Alive In A Vat Of Fish


Jose Melena, an employee of Bumble Bee Seafoods, died in 2012 after being cooked alive with 12,000 pounds of tuna. According to the Los Angeles Times, his coworkers had no idea he was inside the plant’s industrial pressure cooker doing maintenance. In a terrifying turn of events, Melena was boiled alive at a temperature high of 270 degrees F.

Former safety manager Saul Florez and director of plant operations Angel Rodriguez were both charged on April 26 with three felony counts for committing for violating safety and health in the workplace. Investigation of the accident has been ongoing since 2012.

The company has publicly stated that Melena’s death was a tragic accident, however, they were disappointed by the charges filed by LA prosecutors. An investigation by the California Division of Occupational Safety & Health discovered there was no willful violations in relation to the accident.

According to prosecutors, Bumble Bee could face a fine of as much as $1.5 million.



Shut Up and Take My Money! Banana iPhone Case Exists


Is that a banana in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? Oh… wait.

If you just happen to be in Japan, keep an eye out for this awesome iPhone swag. Sadly, it appears to be only for the iPhone 5 model. But all the more reason to upgrade, right?


PicThx Reddit


Jelly Belly Scented iPhone Cases

What do you to to a phone that already seems to do everything, including help you bury a dead body? You make it smell like jelly beans. Sound reasoning, I know. A part from giving your iPhone a colorful makeover with translucent neon housing, these cases have the added bonus of smelling just like Jelly Belly jelly beans.

(DISCLOSURE: looking at the reviews for this product, it seems the product may not fit perfectly on iPhone 4s cases. We’ve yet to try out a case, but the idea was so novel we wanted to share it with y’all.)

($9.99 @ Amazon/ESI)


Punk Rock Pasta Sauce

Straight from Brooklyn and probably the gutters in front of CBGB, comes Marky Ramone’s Own Pasta Sauce. If you don’t know who Marky Ramone is, well then you probably don’t listen to good music. The Ramones are considered one of the greatest bands of all time, and if this sauce reflects anything on their music then you know it’s gotta be good. You ask yourself, what does a drummer know about pasta sauce? Probably as much as you know about being in a famous punk band. The fact is it’s The Ramones and doesn’t matter, order up. (Thx CM)