The Actual Cap’n Crunch Holds a Press Conference Defending His ‘Captainhood’

capn crunch press conference

If there’s one thing we’ve learned from this Cap’n Crunch scandal, it’s that people take their cereal mascots very seriously. After Foodbeast challenged the Cap’n’s title as “Captain” in  Cap’n Crunch is a Liar and a Fraudfans worldwide erupted in both outrage and dismay. The Crunchgate story made headlines from CNN to Time and eventually, the actual Cap’n was forced to address the controversy in person.

And by person we mean the cartoon character boarded a cartoon ship and addressed a real-life audience. Funny how things work, isn’t it?

In other breaking news, the Cap’n has only four fingers (gasp) and his eyebrows are attached to his hat (say it ain’t so!)

Watch the, erm, press conference below:

Video: Cap’n Crunch


Crunchgate: Cap’n Crunch Makes National Headlines, Insists He is Not a Liar & a Fraud


Dear Foodbeast Readers,

Apparently, we’ve caused a national outrage that some have deemed “the greatest controversy in recorded history.” When we broke the news that Cap’n Crunch is a Liar and a Fraudreaders were both heartbroken and shocked that we had the audacity to utter such blasphemy.

While others were simply delighted

As you read this, you’re probably thinking, “All of this fuss and tears over a jolly bearded man in a Halloween costume?” Our answer: This is the internet, purveyor of serious sh*t. At least, serious enough to land the story and cause a plethora of temper tantrums on Huffpo, CNNGawker and the National Post (check the comment sections, they’re great).

While we initially lamented over the discovery that the Cap’n was a commander and not the “captain” he claimed to be, many were quick to point out that anyone in command of a ship and crew, regardless of their rank, is considered a “Captain.”

That being said, we apologize for not consulting America’s beloved cereal icon first. Who knew that a two-dimensional cartoon character could cause such a monumental controversy? Luckily, Cap’n Crunch himself reached out to us to set things straight.

No worries, Cap’n, we’ve still got mad love for ya — even if you do shred the roofs of our mouths to fleshy bits.



Unapologetic Leafs Fan & Lucky Charms Enthusiast


Today I Learned – Cap’n Crunch is a Liar and a Fraud


My whole life has just been shattered into a pile of stale cereal crumbs.

Seriously, guys. Your design team had one job. You couldn’t have at least gotten the old man’s uniform right? Now, adults and children alike are lamenting the fact that the cheery Santa Claus in a blue Napoleon hat is really just a big, fat LIAR. Yes, my fellow Foodbeasts, the “Cap’n” is really just  a “Commander” in disguise.

If you haven’t already, peep the photo above, and note the disparity between the stripes of a captain and those of a commander. Now check out the stripes on Cap’n Crunch’s wrists. One. Two. Three . . . Ugh.

Next you’re going to tell me that Tony the Tiger is really a cranky bald man in a cat suit, or something equally horrifying.

My only solace is that he goes by “Cap’n” Crunch instead of  “Captain.” Still, I’m a little heartbroken over here.


It’s most likely that the Cap’n only has three stripes because he’s a French “Capitaine de frégate” and they technically only have three yellow stripes. Although, that still translates to “Commander” in English . . . and doesn’t explain why he doesn’t speak a lick of le français.

PicThx imgur


Meet Captain Mac Nut, Your Cap’n Crunch and Macadamia Nut-Crusted French Toast Mouthgasm

The first time someone in the office read off the menu from Stacks Pancake House in Dana Point, Calif. — which includes, among other things, Nutella S’mores French Toast, Oreo Cookies N’ Cream Belgium Waffles and Kalua Pork Eggs Benedict — my first response was, “Why in the hell haven’t we covered this yet?”

And here we are.

I eventually settled on the Captain Mac Nut, chosen partially for the macadamias, chosen mostly for the name (still can’t say it out loud without snickering). Pictured above and below, this buttery, crunchy, decadently fried marvel comes either “plain” and topped with strawberries, or “peanut buttery” with optional bananas — as well as, of course, its nominal C-Crunch and mac nut pieces as coating, for an orgy of island-inspired breakfast foods in your mouth.


More photos below:

Stacks Pancake House

34255 Pacific Coast Hwy

Dana Point, California 92629

(Plus a new location opening in Mission Viejo, Winter 2012)


The Man Behind Fried Cereal

Fried Cereal

Every morning during the commute to the FOODBEAST office, I’m either listening to Madeleine Brand and Larry Mantle on KPCC or some new tunes from KCRW. I felt very fortunate to catch the end of Madeleine’s show yesterday because I got introduced to the man behind Fried Cereal, Charles Phoenix.

Phoenix is known for his previous culinary contributions including the Cherpumple, a dessert version of the Turducken/Inception Dessert combining 3 cakes and 3 pies into 1, and the Inchezonya, an entree that combines lasagna and enchiladas!

Phoenix’s fried cereal includes a fine mixture of name-brands including Frosted Flakes, Lucky Charms, Cap’n Crunch, Cocoa Krispies and Fruit Loops. I definitely think adding some Cinnamon Toast Crunch wouldn’t hurt! What brands would YOU put in your fried cereal?

Phoenix’s videos definitely put the kitsch in Kitchen, but his culinary creations are definitely worth taking note. Below find his videos for Fried Cereal and the Cherpumple.