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What 24 Pizzas From The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cartoon Look Like IRL

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As a kid, I loved watching the ’90s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon. Who didn’t? One of the things that stuck was all the ridiculous pizzas Michelangelo and his brothers would order throughout the series. As the years passed, I started to think some of those pizzas could actually be pretty delicious if done right. Though it did take a solid 22 years for anchovies to grow on me.

Like his Renaissance namesake, who would have thought Mikey was ahead of his time. Using some hunger-fueled imagination I recreated 24 of the most disgusting pizza orders from the TV show and turned them into something you could order at a restaurant. Cowabunga.

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Tuna fish, peanut butter and grape jelly

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Tuna ahi poke on top of a bed of seaweed salad and drizzled some hot, melted peanut butter and grape jelly on top. Went more for color than taste. Ending up tasting great so that worked itself out.

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Peanut butter and clams

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Drenched the pizza in a cajun peanut butter sauce with four fresh calms. The heat from the sauce really made the clams, no pun intended, pop. Crawfish for garnish.

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Peanut butter, avocado and extra pickles

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A bed of guacamole topped with avocado slices, melted peanut butter and some sweet dill pickle chips. This is actually a sandwich I make on many an occasion.

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Marshmallow and pepperoni

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Pepperoni and cheese pizza topped with roasted marshmallows. The marshmallows look like haunting little lifeboats on a sea of pepperoni.

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Marshmallow and asparagus

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Asparagus and cheese baked directly into the crust and topped with toasted mini marshmallows. Had to many different versions of this one before I settled on this. Couldn’t be happier.

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Guacamole and Marshmallow

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A generous heap of freshly made guacamole and topped with a single marshmallow lit on fire. Kids, don’t try this at home. Grownups, go nuts.

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Butterscotch, onions and anchovies

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Onion and anchovies caramelized in brown sugar and a butterscotch sauce. Tasted great but stunk up my kitchen like nobody’s business. Do turtles have nostrils?

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Tea and toast

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A buttered slice of toast on top of tomato sauce and sprinkled with tea leaves, parmesan cheese and more tomato sauce. The original concept for this had chunks of toast drenched in tea. NOT. APPETIZING.

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Chocolate sprinkles and clam sauce

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A cheese pizza made with a hearty clam sauce and chocolate sprinkles and garnished with green onions. Not easy to make clam sauce pop on a pizza. Had to tweak it into a chowder. Master Splinter would be proud.

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Chocolate-chip

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Chocolate chips baked into the pizza and drenched with a generous amount of hot fudge. It’s essentially a cookie.

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Chocolate fudge with extra garlic

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A generous amount of fried garlic on top of a pool of melted chocolate fudge. Definitely not something you’d order on a first date, but then again, are any of these pizzas?

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Chocolate fudge, sardine, chili pepper, whipped cream

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A cheese and whipped cream pizza topped with shaved chocolate fudge and red chili flakes. Served with a fried sardine filet in chocolate fudge sauce. Any nutrients that piece of sardine contains is neutralized by that mountain of whipped cream. I guarantee it.

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Anchovies and hot fudge

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Hot chocolate fudge drizzled over anchovy filets on a sauceless white pizza. Until the day anchovies turn into giant mutated fish that eat people, they’ll forever be my favorite fish.

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Pepperoni and hot fudge

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A classic pepperoni and cheese pizza drizzled with a little chocolate fudge. Just a little. We’re not animals.

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Pepperoni and pickles

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Cheese and pepperoni pizza with sweet dill pickle chips. The pickles add a crunch that can be heard all through the New York sewer systems.

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Jelly bean and sausage

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A spicy pork chorizo and sour cream pizza topped with queso fresco and fresh cilantro and served with a jalapeño jellybean gastrique. The jelly beans had us stumped but luckily Reddit came to the rescue.

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Salami pizza with double yogurt

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Two servings of vanilla yogurt topped with fresh salami slices and drizzled with blackberry jelly. If you can get over the idea of salami and yogurt, it goes down pretty tastily.

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Shredded coconut and sweet pickles

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Pizza is topped with shredded coconut, drizzled with hot mustard and topped with sweet pickle chips. Shredder would be a crazy handy guy to have in this situation.

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Strawberry with anchovy sauce

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Caramelized strawberries served with an anchovy butter sauce and topped with whipped cream. This one was the most difficult to come up with. Thankfully, whipped cream saved the day.

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Hot oatmeal

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Hot, buttery oatmeal topped with brown sugar, honey and fresh strawberries. It’s another side to breakfast pizza.

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Popcorn

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Truffle oil popcorn with parsley flakes and parmesan cheese. There’s a pizza somewhere under that mountain of popcorn.

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Anchovies and banana

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Caramelized rum bananas and anchovy filets. The pizza that inspired this post. The bananas and anchovies were the perfect balance of sweet and salty.

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Goulash

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Hot goulash served with crumbles of queso fresco. After a quick Google search of what exactly goulash was, it was pretty easy to make.

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Granola and licorice 

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Vanilla yogurt topped with granola and shaved red licorice. It was a bitch to hand shred licorice, but doesn’t it look pretty?

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Video for verification

Categories
Sweets

Ben & Jerry’s Ron Burgundy ‘Scotchy Scotch Scotch’ Ice Cream Arrives

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In the fine words of Ron Burgundy:

“I love scotch. Scotchy scotch scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.”

There are few things better. Except of course, mixing scotch with ice cream. Which is why Ben and Jerry’s wins at life for releasing their new Run Burgundy-themed flavor, titled, of course, “Scotchy Scotch Scotch,” to promote the upcoming Anchorman 2. It’s kind of a big deal.

The flavor consists of butterscotch ice cream with butterscotch swirls. We’re a bit disappointed there’s no actual scotch in the recipe, but we’re sure that can be remedied by curling up with a bowl of ice cream next to some leather bound books, our favorite lamp, and some riveting Panda watch.

PicThx Ben & Jerry’s

Categories
Recipes

How to Make Butterscotch S’more Blondies

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Move over pumpkin-flavored ho-hum,  Butterscotch S’more Blondies have arrived. These crispy, chewy, light and airy bars are what would happen if a blondie and a s’more had a baby, and then filled that baby to the top with butterscotch.

Add some chocolate chips and gooey marshmallows and they become absolutely irresistible. They are the perfect fall treat, with a warm color and s’more flavor, and only take 10 minutes to make.  You could also use these as a vessel for any of your leftover Halloween candy.

I hear that’s a thing, “leftover candy,” though I’ve never witnessed it myself.

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Butterscotch S’more Blondies

Printable Recipe ]

Ingredients

  • 1 cup butterscotch chips
  • ½ cup unsalted butter
  • 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
  • 2/3 cup packed brown sugar
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 ½ cups mini marshmallows
  • 2 cups semi sweet chocolate chips

Here’s How to Make It

  1. Preheat oven to 350° and prepare a 9 x 13-inch pan for baking. (Line with foil or parchment and spray with baking spray.)
  2. In a large saucepan over medium-low heat, melt together the butterscotch chips and butter, stirring constantly.  Once mostly melted (it will not be completely smooth), set aside to cool.
  3. While the butterscotch mixture is cooling, whisk together the flour, brown sugar, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl.
  4. Mix the vanilla and eggs into the cooled butterscotch mixture (you can mix it right in the pan), stirring well.  Add the flour mixture and stir to combine.  Gently fold in mini marshmallows and chocolate chips, stirring just until combined.
  5. Spread batter into prepared baking pan and bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out mostly clean.  The edges should be lightly browned, but the center does not have to be completely set, the bars will firm up more once they cool.

Adapted from A Farmgirl’s Dabbles ]

Categories
Recipes

Here’s How to Make a Boozy Candy Bar Cocktail

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The best recipes are simple, a rule that applies especially to well made drinks. This recipe involves UV Vodka’s new “Candy Bar” liquor mixed with milk and some butterscotch candy. We suggest substituting the milk with half and half, for lux indulgence in a glass.

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Hit-Or-Miss

Pic of the Day: Reject Pop-Tart flavors

These are some of the Pop-Tart flavors that never quite made the cut!

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(PicThx SeanGleason)

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Pic of the Day: Butterscotch Pecan Pie

Here is another wonderful baked good from Bakerella, look but don’t touch. Oh ok, you can touch. (That’s what she said?)

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Pic of the Day: Butterscotch Rocks Pancakes