Humor News

Drunk Burglar Breaks Into Home And Cooks Fried Chicken For Himself

Sometimes, while at work, I dream of having a plate of fried chicken at home waiting for me to just dive into when I get back.

My dream actually came true for one group of friends in Alachua County, Florida, but they weren’t as happy about it as I would’ve been. That’s probably because somebody broke into their house to make it.

FOX News reports that two sisters and their companion walked into the sisters’ home to discover that another one of their friends had broken into the home. Although he wasn’t stealing valuables and looking for a quick getaway. Instead, he was cooking up fried chicken on their stove.

According to one of the sisters, the burglar, who is apparently a good cook, had gotten into the fridge and freezer and helped himself to some chicken, sausage, and liquor. She gave a hilarious recount of the events to FOX 35:

“He was in here, drunk as a skunk, just being Betty Crocker.”

The sisters were obviously scared of the situation, so they eventually got the burglar out of the house and called police to arrest him as he wandered the nearby streets in a drunken stupor.

While we don’t know if the sisters tried their burglar friend’s fried chicken, their other friend did end up trying it and said it was seasoned “very well.”

If it were me, I would’ve waited until he finished cooking the fried chicken and eventually passed out. I’d have a double win in that case: the burglar would be out of my house without taking any valuables and I’d have some fresh fried chicken to eat.

That would be a double winner fried chicken dinner.


Ninja Bear Breaks Into Bakery, Avoids All Cameras And Eats 38 Pies


This bear was living the thug life to its fullest, breaking into a Colorado bakery and downing 38 pies.

According to Fox31, the bear broke the back window and climbed into the Colorado Cherry Company, where he proceeded to gobble down 24 cherry pies, 14 apple pies, a sack of sugar and baking cocoa.

This wild bear, literally, tried to take off with some to-go boxes, but dropped them in front of the store on his way out.

The clever bear even avoided security cameras somehow, which is unfortunate for him, because the fridge in the camera’s view had a ton of pies he could have gobbled up.

Of course, Colorado is known for its legalization of marijuana, but there was no evidence that this sneaky bear-thief was intoxicated with a serious case of the munchies.

h/t little things