Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Bravest Bistro Ever Pays Customers To Write Hilariously Negative Yelp Reviews

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Botto Bistro to the Goblin King of the restaurant world AKA Yelp: “You have no power over me.”

Since it first launched back in 2004, Yelp has grown into something of a tyrannical behemoth in the food world — even being granted legal permission earlier this month to manipulate reviews for money. Because business or something.

Still, not everyone is so willing to cower before the review site’s supposed “might.” In an effort to undermine the reliability of its Yelp listing, the Botto Bistro Italian restaurant in Richmond, Calif. has actually started offering customers discounts for writing negative reviews.

According to Inside Scoop SF, the five-year old establishment is on “a mission to the the worst-rated restaurant in the Bay Area.” Owners Davide Cerretini and Michele Massimo hope to prove that bad Yelp reviews won’t impact their business, nor that of “any other successful restaurant.”

The results of the tongue-in-cheek campaign have proven to be at worst confusing, and at best, utterly brilliant. Loyal and amused customers have brought their witticisms by the truckload, docking the restaurant stars for food that tastes too good, waiters that serve too well, and experiences that remind them way too much of Italy.

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The clever stunt has not gone entirely unnoticed by Yelp’s legal team though, which, kind of ironically, recently reached out to the Bistro for “offering incentives” in exchange for reviews. The cease and desist letter read:

To be clear, this violates our Terms of Service (http://www.yelp.com/static?p=tos&country=US), and reviews written under such circumstances violate Yelp’s Content Guidelines (http://www.yelp.com/guidelines). We also often find from user feedback that such practices do more harm than good, as the practice creates distrust amongst customers and users who now eye all reviews on a listing with suspicion.”

Pardon us if we respond with a big ol’ EL-oh-F*CKING-EL.

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Well That’s Just Mean: $24K Order of Girl Scout Cookies Turns Out to Be Nothing But a Cruel Joke

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Okay, I know that with the economy being the way they is, it might seem like Girl Scouts trick us out of thousands every year, but damn, revenge is not the answer.

According to the Consumerist and KATU News, two troops in Portland, Ore. thought they’d come upon the deal of a lifetime when they were approached with a request for a huge corporate order of Girl Scout cookies. But when it finally came time to collect payment for the six thousand, $24K worth of boxes they had set aside, however, the prankster revealed the whole thing was nothing but a hoax.

The money expected from the sale was supposed to be used so the girls could go to camp, which of course they’ll now have to find another way to raise, considering, as Consumerist stated, “the cookie-selling season is technically over.”

Basically, some douchebag decided to punch some little girls right in the heart and probably killed a bunch of fairies and unicorns in the process. Luckily, after hearing the original story, some Portland locals decided to buy up about half the boxes meant for the cold-blooded pranksters, but the girls still have a long way to go if they want to raise the extra money on time.

I’d totally help, but I already promised I’d buy some from little Sally down the street, sorry.

H/T Consumerist + PicThx Interview Angel

Categories
Products

Doughnut To-Go: Finally Your Donut Will Be Safe

So you work in an office that has a community kitchen, and someone always steals your dessert. Well fear no more especially if your dessert of choice is a donut, because the Doughnut To-Go case has you covered. Fits virtually any type of donut and you can even lock it up to keep that pesky office bully from eating it. Check out the demonstration video after the jump. (Thx Strapya-World)