Paris Shooter Left A Trail Of Pizza Crumbs Leading Police Right To Him

The world has been thrust into a state of constant disarray lately, no thanks to the continual attacks by radical religious groups. Despite how tragic and awful the attack in Paris was, this constant barrage of brutality in the media is hardening us. It’s been happening so regularly that we view it as just another day in the life of an earthling. For Christ’s sake, there was a fucking terrorist attack today that left 31 dead and over one hundred injured in Brussels, Belgium.

Screen Shot 2016-03-22 at 3.14.02 PMAt the very least, we can celebrate when somebody who is responsible for the attack goes down for it. Even though our world is on fire, the one thing that we will never get complacent with is justice’s swift kick to the nuts. After all, the last member of the ISIS cell that bombed Paris was captured, and that’s one nut-tapping we can all get behind.

Salah Abdeslam, 26, was the last remaining piece of shit on the run until his particular stomach led to his arrest. After the initial bombing in Paris, police subsequently raided his hotel room and found several empty pizza boxes, among other things. After several months of tracking the slimy dickwaffle down, they finally narrowed his location to the vicinity of his old neighborhood in Brussels.

Police had been following leads that eventually led to the home of an unnamed female accomplice. According to their records, she was the only resident of the household. So when a particularly large order of pizza was delivered to one woman, suspicion was predictably aroused. Officers raided the home and shot Abdeslam in the leg as he charged him, apparently attempting suicide by cop. He was apprehended and arrested shortly thereafter. Looks like Abdeslam better start getting used to gruel, because that’s all he’ll be eating for the rest of his short, shitty life.



Photo Credit: Key Container Corp, Non Aligned Media

Sources: Wikipedia, Grubstreet

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3 Unexpected Ways To Use Avocados On Game Day [WATCH]

Avocados on Game Day—not a want, rather, a necessity. A delicious, delicious NECESSITY.

In fact, it’s expected that Big Game partiers will consume over 139 MILLION pounds of fresh avocados during the week’s festivities! That’s a lot of necessity.

But with great avocados comes great responsibility, and even greater possibility, so just how do you plan on eating yours? Sure, you could mash ‘em up into guacamole and chip-n-dip to your heart’s content, but after checking out the recipes below, you’re going to rethink every avocado you’ve ever laid eyes on.

Here are three unexpected yet totally Game Day appropriate ways to eat up those pretty green babies.

Avocado Fries with Carne Asada


What’s a potato? These fries from Josh Scherer (Culinary Brodown) are made from 100% pure avocado and loaded with marinated carne asada, refried beans, Mexican crema and queso fresco, and a ‘liberal squirting of Sriracha.’ I’ll take twenty.

Avocado and Bacon Deviled Eggs


With Josh Elkin’s recipe for Avocado and Bacon Deviled Eggs on the playing field, the Easter Bunny’s definitely getting a run for his money—sorry, man, we prefer our eggs to be filled with creamy avocado and bacon-infused yolks, not expired Tootsie rolls.

Avocado Frito Pie Bombs


These insane Avocado Frito Pie Bombs from Amy Erickson (Oh Bite It) are lethal, but in the best possible way—exploding with flavors of baked avocado, chili cheese, and Frito chips, they’re dangerously delicious.

Created in partnership with the Hass Avocado Board


This Bomb Squad Was Called In To Investigate A Bag Of Hot Dogs

Hot Dog Stk

A post office in Alabama recently had quite the scare when a some mysterious bags were left outside its doors. Typically, when unexpected packages are sitting in front of government buildings, folks tend to get pretty anxious. Even if that package was filled with hot dogs.

First We Feast reports that after the authorities and bomb squads with robots arrived to contain the bags, they discovered the bags were filled with hot dogs wrapped in aluminum foil.

No bombs.

Authorities say they absolutely had to take all the precautions they did. There was no telling what was actually in the bags before they were able to safely examine them.

It’s still unclear who initially left the bags of foil-wrapped hot dogs in front of the building and why. Though if they don’t fess up soon, we have a feeling those juicy dogs won’t be around for them to claim much sooner.


Apparently Nuked Cans Of Beer Are Still Safe To Drink, May Taste A Little ‘Off’

For those of you lucky enough to still be alive on December 22, you can now rest assured knowing your favorite drugstore brews will not only remain completely intact, but will also be completely drinkable.

This is all thanks to a recently discovered 1957 U.S. government study entitled “The Effect of Nuclear Explosions on Commercially Packaged Beverages” (codename: Operation Teapot), for which scientists placed several cans and bottles of soda and beer at various distances from an atomic explosion in order to test their subsequent taste and radioactivity.

As relayed by NPR’s Robert Krulwich, the scientists with arguably the best (or worst) job ever exploded two bombs — one 20 kilotons of TNT, the other 30 — and discovered that most of the bottles and cans not only survived the explosion, but also served as decent enough buffers to prevent any obscene amount of radioactivity from spilling over into their contents. The drinks, Krulwich writes, were in fact  “well within the permissible limits for emergency use” according to the report, with the operative word “emergency” probably meaning something like you won’t turn zombie or sprout extra eyes or anything, at least not right away.

He does go on to state that immediate taste tests did reveal a “slight flavor change” in drinks exposed at 1,270 feet from Ground Zero, while the “most blasted” beers were “‘definitely off.'” But who knows? Maybe the radioactivity just bumped up the alcohol content and by the time the tests were done, all these scientists were drinking Super Saiyan-level Moonshine and talking nonsense.

The moral of the story is, when in doubt in the midst of a thirst-quenching end-of-world scenario, go ahead and take a sip of that rusty, radioactive Corona or Miller or Bud. Because science. And because beer.


Bombs Away!


‘BOMBS AWAY™ will make your next party a real blow-out. The next time you plan to party make sure you’re well armed. They’re made from high-quality double-walled borosilicate glass with a frosted interior finish. Dashingly dangerous’. (Thx Worldwidefred)