You really think someone’s going to buy your Twinkie for $15 million, huh? I’m sure Warren Buffet and Bill Gates are trying to outbid each other as I write this, and that free shipping surely makes it more enticing.
If I was a ridiculously rich dude, I’d already have a vault filled with the delicious cream-filled sponges. Hell, I’d go Scrooge McDuck and dive into a pool of Twinkies every day.
That $15 million box of Twinkies better be one of the first ever made, better be purified in the waters of Lake Minnetonka, signed by the cast of Zombieland, and come with an alternate ending to Magic Mike where Channing Tatum takes off a mask and reveals that he is really Twinkie The Kid.
Sure they aren’t all selling for this much, but it’s still crazy to think that there are currently over 20 thousand Twinkie-related sales being attempted on eBay.
Is it not too soon for the crazy Hostess snack selling, especially since it is likely that someone will buy Hostess Brand Inc. and keep the snacks in tact?
What am I talking about, of course it’s not too soon to try to make a quick dollar. A better question might be, ‘Is it not too soon for your gullible online-shopping self to be buying them for $50 a pop?’
Hostess made an estimated $2.5 billion a year in revenue, had been around for over 80 years and just made people go nuts enough to wipe out store shelves. So I’m going to go out on a limb and agree with the notion that they’ll be back sooner than you think.
I didn’t exactly raid any stores like a lot of people did, but I did buy a couple boxes of Zingers just in case I want to conduct a ceremony of sacrifice to the snack gods, as me and a few close friends have some Zingers and Kool-Aid for one last time. But my intentions were not to do something completely insane like try and sell them for millions of dollars online.
They’re just sponge cakes. You can’t even find a mint condition, Babe Ruth rookie card selling for over $1 million, so I don’t think anyone is going to spend that much on Twinkies.
It’s discouraging to see how quickly we blow things out of proportion. Whether it’s the next online craze, the Mayan end-of-the-world theories, or even ‘Twinkie Apocalypse,’ it’s never a bad idea to take a deep breath and just wait things out.