While dining at restaurants, we forget that waiters can see and hear everything around them. They probably use the Geoffrey Butler from Fresh Prince approach, where you hear all, say nothing and write a book about it later. Except nobody has time to write a book, so, off to Reddit these stories go.
On AskReddit, waiters were asked, “What’s the worst first date you’ve ever seen?” The answers came pouring in, as these servers were chomping at the bit to tell their stories.
Of course, like all things on Reddit, you have to take these stories with a grain of salt, because who the hell really knows if any of this happened. However, none of these stories sound extremely over-the-top, so they may have happened. Plus, it’s the internet, and I’d like to believe everything on it is true.
Peep the crazy stories below, as you’ll cringe at these waiters’ recollections of terrible first date encounters:
“Served a couple a few months ago. Everytime I walked over, he would always be the one talking, and she would just be sitting there not having a good time. At the end I asked if it was one bill or separate and she immediately piped up “SEPARATE.” I go and take his payment, and as I hand over the debit machine to the girl, I see the guy take his phone out and start swiping through Tinder.”
“I work at a fairly nice Italian restaurant, where we do a lot of business. One night a man who I was not even serving came up to me while I was punching an order in on the computer and hands me $20 and a napkin with a phone number on it.
He proceeds to tell me ‘I am on the worst date of my life, this woman is horrendous and I have to get out of here. Take this $20 and please go to the nearest phone and call me and tell me that I have to get home right away. I don’t care what excuse you make up, I just gotta get the hell out of here.’
Initially I thought he was kidding until 2 minutes later the guy who was serving him came up to me to tell me how wicked this woman was and how he could tell the guy didn’t wanna be there. I promptly called that guy as soon as I had a free minute… I called him and told him I was broke down on the side of the road and needed a lift.
One of my shining achievements as a server.”
“It was an attractive young woman and an average-looking man. First off, these people were 30 and I have no clue why they decided to go to Applebee’s for dinner.
…All goes well until it comes time for entrées. This guy orders a fuck ton of ribs (a few full racks) and refuses the girl her original order of a house sirloin, which was only about $6, less than a fifth of his order.
The man orders a four dollar salad and a water for her. The woman stops talking completely while the man talks about some crazy party he went to. The man guzzles a few Strawberry Quencher Iced teas, says ‘Seeya Friday, bitch’ and leaves her with the bill.
She said the guy seemed nice when they talked on Tinder, but was very uncomfortable with him in real life, and afraid to say something. A co-worker and I paid for her meal.”
“I was working at a Mexican restaurant at the time. I was waiting on a couple and I could tell it was a first date by the questions I heard them asking each other. Anyway, towards the end of their meal there was this Hispanic girl sweeping next to their table and the woman looks at her, holds out the remains on her plate and says, ‘would you like to take this home to feed your kids?’ I stood there in complete shock. This woman spoke no English, but she could tell this random woman was completely degrading her. The sad thing is she seemed like she really thought she was doing a good deed. Her date looked so embarrassed.
“Once witnessed a date where the dude talked about how special he was and how his mind wasn’t like other people’s for the entire date. The girl was politely nodding along and every time she tried to get a word in, he’d cut her off. Absolutely brutal.
EDIT: the amount of women commenting on how they’ve been on this exact date before is… upsetting.”
“This happened at my bakery maybe six months into our first year. Two boys come in, chatting normally, clearly on their first date. They’re both young, maybe 15 at most, and adorably nervous. They order at the counter and go find a table, sitting close. One of them starts holding the other’s hand, playing with his fingers, just being cute.
All of a sudden this woman comes up and starts berating one of the boys. It was his mother. She had shown up because she wanted to meet the girl because her son was being cagey about who it was (I assume he had mentioned where they were going because she wouldn’t let him out if she didn’t know.) She starts screaming and crying about how her son could do this to their family. Doesn’t he know she wants grandkids? His father would be so ashamed if he was still alive, doesn’t his father’s memory mean anything?
She then tells him that if he keeps up with this, don’t bother coming home, and then marches out of our shop. This poor boy is just weeping, while his not-even-really boyfriend is trying to comfort him, completely bewildered with what happened.”
“Ooooh! He made a comment to her about how he’s “not Jew-y” so she should order whatever she wanted. She was Jewish.
She spent the rest of the evening in silence as he went on about how his ex-girlfriend was anorexic and “so annoying about food.” He was happy to be on a date with a woman who could eat like a normal person.
Edit: one of the only times she spoke was to respond that she was Jewish. It was a quiet night in my restaurant and I was nearby doing sidework. She seemed like a very shy person.
“Worked at Applebee’s. This woman was the worst woman I’ve ever waited on. She was needy and slurped down her iced tea like there was a world wide shortage. He was silent. He didn’t talk once except to order his quesadilla burger, and she just kept going and going prattling on. And she was mean too! Talking down about how people were losers to be servers, and how much better it was to work in a shop.
At the end, he went to the bathroom and just never came back. He apparently jetted out the side door where the to-go girls worked and gave them a twenty to give to me. Worst Woman was just sitting there and waiting for him to come back. I stood there at the servers station just waiting for her to realize he wasn’t coming back.
So after ten minutes, she just started crying, pushes her chair over, and flounced out. I didn’t get a tip, but it made my night.”
“I’m a waitress at a mid-range priced bar/grill. Just yesterday, a younger couple came in, and as I greet them I ask if they want anything besides water.
Conversation is as follows..
Girl: May I have a Coke? Or Pepsi?
Boy: God, Erin. I’m paying.
Girl: Water will be fine, actually.
My heart immediately sank, because you bet your ass he tipped less than 10% too.”
I used to work at a little shitty diner place, definitely not the type of place to bring a first date. There was this guy who’d come in every Friday with a different girl. He was a very good looking dude and was alway super polite and very nice to me, but he was super awkward. The girls would look kind of skeptical as they walked in (probably because of the crappy diner scene). Every week, about halfway through the meal, like clockwork, the girls would develop these “get me the fuck outta here faces.” Thats when I would bring the check. They always boxed up their food and left right away.
I had the chance to talk to one of them while he was in the restroom. Apparently he wasn’t harmful, there was just something off about him that the girls didnt like. His persistence is on point though.”
“I work in an Italian restaurant. A few years ago I waited on a guy and girl who met for the first time upon arriving at the restaurant. There were awkward pleasantries exchanged at the door and then they were seated.
When I was taking their order the guy asked if we had soup because he had mouth surgery a few days prior and chewing food was still a little rough. We don’t have soup, so I explained that the “softest” food on the menu was gnocchi. He ordered the house gnocchi and proceeded to cut each tiny dumpling into four or more pieces and slowly chew each piece. He ate that entire dish over a 3 hour period and the girl stuck it out for the whole thing. She looked miserable and I’m pretty sure they never saw each other again.”
“I was working in a small restaurant with two floors. A woman and a man came in and I had a table for them upstairs. It looked like they had a first date because they were asking those “getting to know each other”questions. After ordering food, the woman had to go to the toilet, which is downstairs. As she walked to the stairs, the food arrived. She walked down, tripped and fell all the way down knocking her head on the ground. Two colleagues immediately rushed over to her to see how she was doing. She was unconscious and bleeding from her head so they called an ambulance. I went to the man while he already started eating and told him his partner (didn’t know how to call her) fell down the stairs and that she was unconscious and that an ambulance was on the way. He walked to the stairs, looked down and walked back to his table to finish his food. Later the ambulance arrived and I asked him if he wanted to go with them to the hospital and he said no while finishing her food as well. It was so awkward he just sat there for another 45 minutes eating, drinking, paid the bill and left. I still don’t know what kind of relationship they had and whether the woman is okay.”
“I was bartending in NY and watched this couple that had met on Tinder have their first date sitting at my bar. The girl was a complete maniac. Kept bringing up the fact that the dude she was with could be a psychopath and could murder her (he had given no indication of this) and went on Tinder while he was still sitting beside her at the bar. Kept telling him he was lucky that she agreed to meet him at all and she didn’t think he’d be this boring. She ordered about 5 or 6 LITs and several shots, he literally just had 2 beers. She made him pay for everything.
My favourite part of this shit show was that he excused himself to go to the bathroom and left through the fire escape. Absolutely brilliant. To be clear, there was only one official entrance and exit. This dude escaped out the back and she went searching for him. Straight up thought he had disappeared out of the bar.”
“So, I don’t know if it was a first date (but hopefully last) date, but last week I had a couple come in, and the man (thugged out and in his late twenties) began cussing about everything on the menu.
‘Yo, bitch, why’d you pick this shitty ass place? All this shit on the menu is fucking expensive as fuck’ (mid-priced lunch place, 90% locals and regulars of the senior variety for the most part)
So dude continues to cuss and berate his girl, and she doesn’t say anything. I come over and take their order, and he refuses to get anything, she gets some chicken strips, and then he starts in on me about how this is a ‘snobby ass old white folk place.’
At this point the regulars ARE noticing and one went to the owner to let him know what was going on, and he came out, hands on his hips and said ‘you have two choices, either stop the profanity and act civilized, or leave my establishment.’
The man said ‘I don’t gotta do shit, yo.’ Meanwhile the girl is now quietly eating her chicken, not saying a word.
Owner goes and calls the cops, because now this guy is getting louder and ruder to his poor date. When dude sees the cops roll up, he takes off, leaving the girl sitting at the table. Officers intercept him in the parking lot, and at the same time go and question the girl, asking if he’s ever hit her, if she feels safe, etc etc.”
Couple came up with beers they already had bought, and sat in my section. I go to introduce myself, girl seems nice, guy says nothing, just stares at his beer. At one point I glance up at their table. The girl is gone, and the guy looks like all hell. I thought to myself ‘Damn, he looks like he’s about to–‘ and right then, he hurls. Not a lot came out, and he tried to pass it off as a cough, but I saw enough pour out of his mouth, onto his chair and the floor.”
“Good looking dude, fit, clear shaven, kind of looked like Jim Cantori from The Weather Channel but younger (24 had to card him) and slimmer. Out of the blue this dude whistles at me. He whistles at me again while I am looking at him trying to figure out if he really just whistled at me like a fucking dog. ‘Yo man, more shots!’
…one of the other guys working that night starts to talk to him while the girl goes to the ladies room. When she gets back he whistles at the other bartender again and shouts “Hey man! Where are my shots! Pronto!” This guy starts just hammering shots. Not crazy but pretty damn quick. He is through at least five.
The dude… starts to get a bit sideways. Nothing big, just loud, laughing at his own jokes, talking over the girl every chance he gets. He then announces that he has to piss on a rock and walks to the back.
The girl looks mortified and sad. She is texting away like a mad man.
Then I hear him in the back raising some cane and out he comes with a dude under his arm. They sit down and he starts talking to a different girl at the bar. He is not really piss drunk but well on his way and says something out loud to the other girl about gay people and walks outside.
His friend follows quickly after and the girl is left at the bar alone.
Five minuets later the friend walks in, sits down, has a drink with the girl. I hear him say that he put him in an Uber and sent him home. They walk to go to the place the other dude had reservations for them at.
About 30 minutes later “YO” boy walks back in sober as the day he is born! Sits down waves me over and apologizes for whistling at me, give us 20 bucks and buys us a shift drink for when we get off.
He did it all for his friend. Got 1/2 drunk played the fool and called him to come save the day. Honestly said “he is a better man for her than me. She is really just not my type.” I was stuck between in awe and impressed.”
TL;DR: The guy was being an asshole on purpose, so his friend can save the day and go out with the girl. The guy being an asshole apologized to the staff, tipped them and bought them all drinks.
Picthx Tian Tan Nightmaresmiles, Mitu
Writer’s Note: Light spelling edits for ease of reading.