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Washington Man Arrested For Getting Freaky With Sub Shop Window

Subway

Have you ever arrived at your favorite sandwich shop only to find it closed for the night? Typically you’d grab at the door handle, peek through the window and maybe give it a few knocks. What you probably wouldn’t do is drop trou then start goin’ at it with the shop window, right?

Well apparently Lydell Coleman doesn’t take too kindly to restaurants being closed on him. The Washington man exposed himself to onlookers and shop employees then proceeded to hump and grind on the Sub Shop window like he was making sweet sweet love. Guess he didn’t get his foot-long so he showed off his six-inch…womp.

Security interrupted Coleman’s rendezvous causing him to fled. He was later caught and is now being held on felony indecent exposure charges. Coleman has been convicted of indecent exposure before, we’re guessing his first strike involved a burger joint. No word on whether or not the Sub Shop window will wait for Coleman.

H/T Consumerist

Categories
Hit-Or-Miss

Man Suspected of Poisoning Wife’s Rice Krispies

A man from Southern California has been arrested and held on a million dollars bail for allegedly poisoning his wife’s breakfast cereal. There are many tragic stories so far this year, but for someone to waste perfectly good food for the purpose of evil is always a shame.

Fernando Porras, age 43, of Azusa CA was arrested on suspicion of putting a harmful chemical substance in his wife’s cereal. Fernanda Porras, 51, said that she tasted and smelled something horrible in her breakfast cereal on Thursday. Luckily, police say that the woman did not suffer any serious harm and her husband will be due in court this week.

So will I close this story with a “Snap, Crackle, and Pop!” pun? No. Because domestic abuse isn’t funny.

But Fernando Porras better hope that cereal will be the only thing that Snap, Crackles, and Pops in jail.

via: Huffington Post