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Hit-Or-Miss Humor News

Fans Hold Candlelight Vigil For Taco Bell That Burned Down [WATCH]

Losing a loved one can be difficult, but as human beings, we learn to mourn, grieve, and remember the special moments.

That is what a large group of Taco Bell fans did in Montgomery, Alabama, as they mourned the loss of their local favorite chalupa-dealing restaurant with a candlelight vigil.

Seriously.

The Taco Bell caught fire January 17, and collapsed in a devastating moment that forever changed the Alabama community.

Photo by Montgomery, Alabama Fire

To pay their respects to the fallen Taco Bell, ,more than 100 fans made their way to the parking lot, Sunday night, and literally paraded around with candles in hand. A group called the “Baja Angels” even performed a bit of a dance in the Taco Bell’s honor.

A little much? Maybe, but how can you tell people that their method of grieving is wrong?

The owner of the fallen restaurant even responded, saying:

“We are overwhelmed by the displays of support.  We are extremely thankful that no one was harmed early Wednesday morning when the store burned and that no firefighters were injured as they battled the flames in single digit temperatures.”

Although no one was allowed on the premises, seeing how the fire is still under investigation, locals found a way to make it work, and said goodbye, hoping they will someday cross paths again, assuming it will be rebuilt.

Categories
Fast Food News

Wendy’s Employee Drove This Kid To Tears After Calling Him A ‘Lil Ugly Dude’ On The Receipt

wendys-ugly-dude

Restaurant workers need to stop writing notes on receipts, or at the very least stop writing dumb shit on them.

Case in point, the story of  Teeneshia Bush of  Mobile, Alabama and her son. Teeneshia jumped on Facebook and posted a photo of a Wendy’s employee clowning on her 15-year-old son through a receipt message.

At the bottom of the receipt you can see a note that looks like it was meant to be kept between coworkers, and read, “Lil Ugly Dude,” as a means to describe the young customer.

That section of the receipt is usually reserved for the customer’s name, so it can be called out when the order is ready, but it seemed like the employee didn’t ask for a name, and resorted to a terrible alternative instead. Either that, or the worker was trying to get a co-worker in trouble, baiting them to call that name out loud.

Either way, the note was there, and when Quenterus Brown saw it, he was reduced to tears as the workers were allegedly laughing at him.

Teeneshia Bush said she didn’t go off on the workers, and instead handled it “the right way.” She didn’t say what that way was, but maybe she wrote a stern letter, or prayed for them.

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News

This Bomb Squad Was Called In To Investigate A Bag Of Hot Dogs

Hot Dog Stk

A post office in Alabama recently had quite the scare when a some mysterious bags were left outside its doors. Typically, when unexpected packages are sitting in front of government buildings, folks tend to get pretty anxious. Even if that package was filled with hot dogs.

First We Feast reports that after the authorities and bomb squads with robots arrived to contain the bags, they discovered the bags were filled with hot dogs wrapped in aluminum foil.

No bombs.

Authorities say they absolutely had to take all the precautions they did. There was no telling what was actually in the bags before they were able to safely examine them.

It’s still unclear who initially left the bags of foil-wrapped hot dogs in front of the building and why. Though if they don’t fess up soon, we have a feeling those juicy dogs won’t be around for them to claim much sooner.

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News

Man Unhappy with Jared’s Diet Robs Multiple Subways

Subway-Robbery

Alabama police have arrested a man connected to multiple Subway robberies who claimed he wanted his money back for not losing weight eating the franchise’s sandwiches. WBRC reports that 18-year-old Zachary Torrence told the detectives after his arrest that he dropped a lot of dollar bills on Subway as a means to emulate “Jared’s diet.”

When Jared Fogle first stepped onto America’s television screens more than 15 years ago, we were all cheering him on for his Subway success. The guy lost a significant amount of weight eating what he claimed was nothing but Subway. Now we know there were other factors to Fogle’s success, like exercise and portion control, but we’re guessing this Alabama man didn’t.

Torrence claimed he had been ordering either a foot-long veggie sub or a six-inch turkey and had not seen the same results. Not sure how long the young man had been practicing the diet, or if he tried pairing it with exercise.

Police arrested Torrence after he was spotted at a Walmart with the orange shoes he was wearing in surveillance videos from previous robberies. He is being charged with one count of first degree robbery with a $250,000 bond.

H/T WBRC

Categories
Features

The Best College Drunk Foods at the 25 Best Party Schools

the-best-college-drunk-food

Ahhh, college. It’s where children blossom into adults, and then keep blossoming into larger and larger adults, because the main point of most nights is to eat two entire pizzas, plus a side of pizza, at 3am.

But we can’t go back, no matter how hard we petition the admissions office at DeVry. So instead, we took 25 of the drunkest schools — Playboy’s 10 Top Party Schools of 2013, plus a handful of others famous for an extreme aversion to sobriety — and rounded up glorious tales of consumption. Then we assembled them in a format that in no way hilariously mimics any food guide that has existed in the form of a little red book you keep in your bathroom.

Enjoy… until the acid reflux sets in.

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MICHIGAN

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Ray’s Red Hots
“The old Red Hot Lovers” is now Ray’s Red Hots, but the place is “still seriously legit.” The namesake dogs, including the “Snap Casing” and the “Reuben Dog,” are “quite dank,” but the “Half-and-Half with cheese” (a “mound of curly fries, a pile of thick-cut onion rings, and a melted-on-the-spot cheddar cheese topping”) is “barf if you’ve been drinking a lot, but good barf.” “I lived on the adjacent street for two years, and during that time went here 195821941014 times, give or take.”

Runners-Up: BTB Burrito, Fleetwood Diner, Pizza House

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OLE MISS

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“That Chevron With Chicken-on-a-Stick”
“By far the most famous late-night eating spot in Oxford,” this “gas station — I mean, it’s a damn gas station — right off the square where everyone gathers when the bars close at midnight” is “a legend for only one thing”: “a massive growth of greasy fried chicken that would kill a T-Rex, on a skewer.” Except for one guy “who always went for the egg roll, just to be different or something.”

Runners-Up: “Literally the only food I remember from that town is Chicken-on-a-Stick”

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SYRACUSE 

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Chuck’s Café
“Covered in graffiti” and offering “a plethora of seating,” “Chuck’s Café, according to Foursquare, or Hungry Chuck’s, according to my bank statements” will happily serve you “the best bar food in the world.” Friday brings “$4 pitchers, which you HOUSE, and then it’s time to eat,” and the “BBQ chipotle chicken tenders,” “skirt steak sandwich,” and “the $2 fries” are “the best things ever.” “I want them to cater my wedding.”

Runners-Up: Wings over Syracuse, Sliders Burgers and Belgian Fries, Cosmos Pizza & Grill

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TEXAS

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Taco Cabana
“The reason Texans hate Mexican food everywhere else” is “honestly the best chain of any kind on the planet,” and also “walking distance from frat parties, and if you don’t dress well, co-op parties.” The “24-hours” joint is equipped with “a salsa bar — I once made an all-salsa taco,” but “just order the queso and house-made tortillas” which “should be purchased by the dozen” and will “cause your testicles to explode.” Also, “one time someone stole a big-screen television from the dining area” and ”Sean Elliot once did a super-weird commercial for them that I can’t find anywhere on YouTube.”

Runners-Up: DoubleDave’s Pizzaworks, Magnolia Cafe

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GEORGIA

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The Grill
This “true diner” is the “only 24-hour joint in Athens other than Waffle House,” and is “famous for having every burger, shake, and patty melt under the sun,” in addition to a “ridiculous double-decker grilled cheese with bacon.” Decor is highlighted by “vintage comic books and soda bottles” that “people tried to steal every time they went” before realizing “they were in a glass case,” and so “swiped a ketchup bottle instead. I woke up with one in my purse once, and I don’t even like ketchup that much.”

Runner-Up: Little Italy Pizzeria, mainly because “in 2005, they discovered it was basically doubling as a meth lab. I’m not sure they cooked it there, but he dealt it. It was a big story in the Red and Black!”

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MIAMI

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New York Roma Pizza
“The old Groovy’s” in Coconut Grove is now “New York Pizza,” “the only pizza spot left in what passes for a college bar scene in Miami.” You may “get in multiple physical altercations there” when someone tries “the old ‘chat-and-cut’ move,” but the “slice with all the meat on it” is “totally worth it,” even though one time “some teacher stood in the doorway blocking everyone” and “proclaimed that he was a goddamn veteran of the United States Effing Marine Corps,” and “threatened to take down anyone who dared insult the integrity of that line.”

Runner-Up: El Mago de Las Fritas

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CORNELL

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Collegetown Bagels
Even though its circular wares are “good at all times — not just while drunk,” this “iconic” bagel shop run by “a friendly group of Ithaca townies who are just dying to partake in the college fun” is a “late-night fixture.” The “HUGE menu” is highlighted by “next-level pizza bagels — Tuscan verde, chicken melt, etc,” and also interestingly features “pitchers of beer and sangria.” “Stories abound” of people “having sex” or “just plain-old puking” in the bathrooms, and at least one fine patron has “peed a pizza box, right in front of a cop. That didn’t go so well.”

Runners-Up: College Town Pizza, Hot Truck

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FLORIDA

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Relish
This “super-greasy, design-your-own-burger shop” in a “little corner shopping center next to the strip of bars” will “let you stack up to 10 patties on a single burger” and “you also get to choose as many toppings and sauces as you want,” like the “Double Tasty with cheese, bacon, egg, lettuce, tomato, hummus, ranch, dijon mustard, and hot sauce.” It’s also “one of Gainesville’s top pick-up spots… seriously” and “hands-down the most fun line in town,” especially when “your friends start passing out left and right because of the wait — so be ready to abandon them to get your burger.”

Runners-Up: Five Star Pizza, Larry’s Giant Subs

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USC

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Chano’s
“You can’t spell Chano’s without nachos,” but this “little Mexican dive” “right next to frat row” is also “really the only possible choice” for “chicken quesadillas smothered in sour cream” and “holy-sh*t carne asada fries.” “Outdoor seating” and a “drive-thru no one from USC ever uses ‘cause they’re always too hammered to drive when going there” add to the SoCal ambiance, and the place is thankfully “not quite into the ‘hood enough to get you shanked.'” And, best of all, it’s “for everyone”: “I went to film school and was not in a frat, but nobody wanted to beat me up there.”

Runners-Up: “There are seriously no runner-ups — ask any Trojan”

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MARYLAND

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Ratsie’s Pizza
“The dirtiest dump ever” serves the most “rubbery, oily, desperate slice of pizza you could ever imagine,” which “will 100,000% give you the worst heartburn the next day” but “it’s so worth it.” “The guy who runs it always hits on college girls and gives them free pizza and stuff” and “flashing him might work”; otherwise, just watch “every single weird thing ever go down” as you put back “some slices and zucchini sticks.”

Runners-Up: Plato’s Diner, Cluck-U Chicken, D.P. Dough

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FLORIDA STATE

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Guthrie’s
Hop on the “line to the drive-thru that stays open until 4am” and “wait loudly” for your “Gut Box with extra Gut Sauce”: “chicken fingers, greasy crinkle-cut fries, sweet coleslaw, and buttery Texas toast.” Said sauce is “light pink and probably just a mix of mayo, ketchup, Worcestershire, and a sh*t-ton of garlic powder and pepper.” It’s also “the source of urban legends”: “you can use it as axle grease,” “one time a pledge chugged a gallon and had to go to the ER,” and “someone’s friend’s cousin had to get porcelain veneers because it removed all the enamel from her teeth.” “Don’t you dare go there sober — it will ruin your world view.”

Runners-Up: Gordos, Mr. Roboto Tokyo Grill

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ALABAMA

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Quick Grill
“Right on the strip,” this “permanent version of a New York peanut stand” is “can’t even fit a cook if the cook is fat” small and only manages room for “a couple random benches.” It’s “all about the Messy Fries”: “French fries swimming in nacho cheese” — just be sure to “get at least a billion napkins — they are ungodly messy.” After ordering at the window, “grab a seat and get ready to wait outside for a while,” as “the name is a bigger lie than Al Gore inventing beards.”

Runners-Up: Buffalo Phil’s, City Cafe, and Mr. T: “this guy who comes right into the bars and sells $2 BBQ sandwiches”

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NORTH CAROLINA

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[B]SKI’s
This “fairly nice-looking place if you didn’t look too closely at the rugs” will “turn any meal into a wrap,” “also known as a ‘ski.’” “No, I don’t know why.” Get yourself an “absolutely huge” “AK Ski with fried chicken, hot sauce, and ranch,” but be careful: “they blacklist people’s phone numbers who ordered delivery, then passed out before it got there,” leaving it to “become a game of figuring out who WASN’T blacklisted when you want an Aloha Ski after a long night.” “They also have ridiculously good chocolate chip cookies.”

Runners-Up: Time-Out Restaurant, Hot Dogs & Brew, Artisan Pizza Kitchen

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VIRGINIA

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The White Spot
The “hilariously inadvertent comment on the school’s lack of diversity” is “famous for one thing only”: the “Gus Burger,” which is “basically just a cheeseburger with a fried egg on top,” and “is not/never was made by a dude named Gus.” Bolder eaters may opt for the “Double Gus,” while watching “freshmen carry out a rite of passage: milling around hoping someone finds their gluttony attractive enough to take them home.” “This works approximately never, but you can get your hands on a Gus Burger approximately always.”

Runners-Up: Littlejohn’s New York Deli, Christian’s Pizza

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WEST VIRGINIA

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Are U Hungry/Sandwich U
“Also known as Sandwich U,” this joint sells “souvenir shirts that say ‘Have you had a Fat Bitch lately?’, not that I own one or anything,” but the real deal is the “just silly-big sandwiches,” including said Fat Bitch, as well as the “Fat Blunt and the Fat Bastard.” “They shove in everything imaginable” — “gyro meat, mozz sticks, chicken fingers, eggs” — and “out comes someone who needs a wheelbarrow to get home.”

Runners-Up: Casa D’Amici, Pita Pit, “that hot dog truck thing”

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COLORADO

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Cosmo’s Pizza
“Slices bigger than your head even if you’re some freak with a really huge head” are the featured item at this joint “in the little drunk/hungover-person Nirvana of a shopping center” that “also has Dot’s Diner.” “Really super-stoned people — not just drunks!” line up for slices that’re “basically just vehicles for the spicy ranch,” which “is also sold by the mason jar if you need to get your severe acid reflux on at home, too.”

Runners-Up: Tra Ling’s Oriental Cafe, “Smelly Deli” (University Hill Market & Deli)

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WISCONSIN

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Jin’s Chicken & Fish
This “piece of crap cart next to all the frats on Langdon” is “almost definitely run by the dude from Lost, although he looks different,” and peddles “sandwiches that will make you regret ever going to college the next AM.” “I literally never heard of anyone who got the fish,” but the “fried chicken with mayo and Frank’s is beyond delicious… I think” — “my entire night used to be about raising $4.” When that doesn’t work out, though, it’s not over: “we did card tricks for sandwiches one time, but that only worked for girls,” and it’s important to remember that “flashing always helps, too.”

Runners-Up: Ian’s Pizza, Parthenon Gyros

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INDIANA

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Mother Bear’s Pizza
“Old wooden booths and paneled walls” welcome you into this “institution” with “really affordable pizzas, even for poor people,” all “gently lorded over” by “the manager for, like, 100 years, Wiz” — “nobody beats her.” The “Divine Swine and Spinoccoli pies” are trusty go-tos, but if you’re really hungry, “just shut up and get the Munchie Madness,” “a package that included a pizza, breadsticks, brownies, and a two-liter.” “If I was an actual bear, and there were no foolish campers cooking bacon, I would come right here.”

Runners-Up: Aver’s Gourmet Pizza, Pizza X

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IOWA

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Panchero’s Mexican Grill
“The only thing you need to know about Panchero’s is the Quesadilla Girl video.” “So this girl starts screaming at another girl late-night, then whirls around and hits this dude in the face.” “He proceeds to push her, and then everything goes wild.” “She falls on the floor, and eventually gets up,” but “best of all, after all that,” “she goes behind the counter and demands her damn quesadilla.” “They’re that good.”

Runners-Up: Marco’s Grilled Cheese, Mesa Pizza, The Pit

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OHIO STATE

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Mikey’s Late Night Slice
“This place means the world to me,” and also does for “countless students who seem like they may never become sober again. Like, biologically.” “The hammered-people food-of-the-moment in Columbus” is “worth the long lines,” and while “the pizza will change your outlook on life and maybe make you run to the bathroom,” “don’t sleep on the Pizza Dawg,” a “giant hot dog filled with meat and cheese, then wrapped with a slice of pizza.” And don’t sleep with “the Slut Sauce,” which “delivers an awesome tang, but not like astronauts eat” and “should cover your pizza so thoroughly you can’t see anything but Slut.”

Runners-Up: PJ’s Sandwiches, Hounddog’s 3 Degree Pizza, Apollos Greek Kitchen

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MISSOURI

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El Rancho
“Most people will claim to absolutely hate El Rancho unless they’re drunk,” “and then that happens,” and then “you’ll find them at 2am demolishing a plate of steak fajita nachos.” “Right near all the bars,” this “cheap and dirty Mexican food” outpost “is open until 3am” and “will serve you booze all night” — “it’s the worst idea ever. Seriously, why would they do that?” “The margaritas are huge,” “made with cleaning products,” and “cost, like, a quarter.”

Runners-Up: Shakespeare’s Pizza, Broadway Diner

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OKLAHOMA

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Pizza Shuttle
“Basically the Totinos of delivery,” “no sane person would EVER eat this crap sober,” but, “hey, cheap pizza delivered to your door at 2:30am is fantastic.” “Their website hasn’t changed since Howard Schnellenberger was OU’s coach,” but they’ll still manage to deliver you “sandwiches that are every bit as delicious as their pizzas.” In summation, “it’s way more delicious than the space shuttle, plus it’s still in business.”

Runners-Up: The Mont Restaurant, O’Connell’s Irish Pub & Grille, Louie’s Grill & Bar

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LSU

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Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers
“The original,” which was “started by LSU business students who are now super-rich people” is “all decked out with LSU stuff,” including “much classier tiger-skin walls than normally found in chicken finger establishments.” “Go with the Box,” which is “filled with huge, greasy chicken fingers and fries,” but “be sure to switch out the cole slaw for extra Texas toast” so you can “most effectively sponge up all of the simply ridiculous Cane’s Sauce.” “I have no idea what it is, and honestly I don’t really care,” but “I would drink it with a straw if that’s what it came down to, and I kinda hope that’s what it comes down to.”

Runner-Up: Louie’s Cafe

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MICHIGAN STATE

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Bell’s Greek Pizza
“There’s great pizza in East Lansing,” but at 4am, “skip it and go to Bell’s.” “Like the dudes in the surrounding frats, it’s greasy and Greek,” but “nothing tastes like this pizza” — “the crust is like a sponge dunked in butter and deep-fried,” “the cheese is sharp and definitely not mozzarella,” and “you can eat the whole thing in two giant bites.” And at $1 a slice, “it’s the main contributor to the freshman 15.” They’ve also got “super-greasy grinders, pasta, and spinach pie,” plus, unlike most eateries in the city, “it’s been around since the ’60s,” so you can “take your alum dad there and relive memories he doesn’t actually remember.”

Runners-Up: Georgio’s Gourmet Pizza, Jersey Giant Subs, Menna’s Joint, Goombas Pizza USA

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ARIZONA STATE

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Oregano’s Pizza Bistro
While “the pizza is pretty good,” especially “the stuffed ones, which weigh about 600lbs a slice,” “I did it all for the Pizookie.” The “massive half-baked soft cookie” is “the finest piece of drunk food ass I’ve ever seen.” Go with “half chocolate chip, half white chocolate macadamia nut,” or the “peanut butter,” but the topper, literally, is “mounds of vanilla ice cream.” “The thing is only five bucks, but it could probably feed a family for weeks, even if they were a really fat family.”

Runners-Up: Cheba Hut, Silver Mine Subs

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This list brought to you by the folks at Thrillist

Categories
Fast Food

Miss Alabama and Carl’s Jr.’s Buffalo Blue Cheese Burger Are Like, The Hottest Thing Ever

carlskatherine

Don’t you hate it when you’re watching a football game and you catch a really hot lady in the bleachers taking all her clothes off and eating a giant hamburger?

Yeah, we didn’t think so.

If you haven’t heard of former Miss Alabama Katherine Webb, just know her claim to fame came after she was spotted by a sports telecaster at a football game, who simply couldn’t get over how pretty she was. You could ask which game and who won, but we’d bet the poor guy probably doesn’t remember anymore. Ah, journalism at its finest.

Now, Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s latest hottie-fueled ad for its new Buffalo Blue Cheese Burger features Miss Webb in a re-enactment of this kinda-famous scene, only with more spotlights and more Frank’s Red Hot. The burger itself includes a charbroiled beef patty drizzled in Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Wings Sauce and topped with Swiss cheese and blue cheese crumbles, and is available starting at $2.89 for the single. There’s also Buffalo Chicken Tenders, available only at Hardee’s, and Buffalo Blue Cheese Crisscut Fries, available only at Carl’s Jr.

You can catch the live commercial on television this week, but check out the video below for a behind-the-scenes look, including some very tasty buffalo sauce/thigh porn. Hey, it’s still better than looking at Harley’s less-than-precious mug.