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What 24 Pizzas From The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cartoon Look Like IRL

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As a kid, I loved watching the ’90s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon. Who didn’t? One of the things that stuck was all the ridiculous pizzas Michelangelo and his brothers would order throughout the series. As the years passed, I started to think some of those pizzas could actually be pretty delicious if done right. Though it did take a solid 22 years for anchovies to grow on me.

Like his Renaissance namesake, who would have thought Mikey was ahead of his time. Using some hunger-fueled imagination I recreated 24 of the most disgusting pizza orders from the TV show and turned them into something you could order at a restaurant. Cowabunga.

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Tuna fish, peanut butter and grape jelly

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Tuna ahi poke on top of a bed of seaweed salad and drizzled some hot, melted peanut butter and grape jelly on top. Went more for color than taste. Ending up tasting great so that worked itself out.

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Peanut butter and clams

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Drenched the pizza in a cajun peanut butter sauce with four fresh calms. The heat from the sauce really made the clams, no pun intended, pop. Crawfish for garnish.

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Peanut butter, avocado and extra pickles

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A bed of guacamole topped with avocado slices, melted peanut butter and some sweet dill pickle chips. This is actually a sandwich I make on many an occasion.

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Marshmallow and pepperoni

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Pepperoni and cheese pizza topped with roasted marshmallows. The marshmallows look like haunting little lifeboats on a sea of pepperoni.

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Marshmallow and asparagus

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Asparagus and cheese baked directly into the crust and topped with toasted mini marshmallows. Had to many different versions of this one before I settled on this. Couldn’t be happier.

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Guacamole and Marshmallow

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A generous heap of freshly made guacamole and topped with a single marshmallow lit on fire. Kids, don’t try this at home. Grownups, go nuts.

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Butterscotch, onions and anchovies

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Onion and anchovies caramelized in brown sugar and a butterscotch sauce. Tasted great but stunk up my kitchen like nobody’s business. Do turtles have nostrils?

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Tea and toast

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A buttered slice of toast on top of tomato sauce and sprinkled with tea leaves, parmesan cheese and more tomato sauce. The original concept for this had chunks of toast drenched in tea. NOT. APPETIZING.

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Chocolate sprinkles and clam sauce

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A cheese pizza made with a hearty clam sauce and chocolate sprinkles and garnished with green onions. Not easy to make clam sauce pop on a pizza. Had to tweak it into a chowder. Master Splinter would be proud.

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Chocolate-chip

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Chocolate chips baked into the pizza and drenched with a generous amount of hot fudge. It’s essentially a cookie.

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Chocolate fudge with extra garlic

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A generous amount of fried garlic on top of a pool of melted chocolate fudge. Definitely not something you’d order on a first date, but then again, are any of these pizzas?

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Chocolate fudge, sardine, chili pepper, whipped cream

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A cheese and whipped cream pizza topped with shaved chocolate fudge and red chili flakes. Served with a fried sardine filet in chocolate fudge sauce. Any nutrients that piece of sardine contains is neutralized by that mountain of whipped cream. I guarantee it.

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Anchovies and hot fudge

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Hot chocolate fudge drizzled over anchovy filets on a sauceless white pizza. Until the day anchovies turn into giant mutated fish that eat people, they’ll forever be my favorite fish.

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Pepperoni and hot fudge

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A classic pepperoni and cheese pizza drizzled with a little chocolate fudge. Just a little. We’re not animals.

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Pepperoni and pickles

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Cheese and pepperoni pizza with sweet dill pickle chips. The pickles add a crunch that can be heard all through the New York sewer systems.

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Jelly bean and sausage

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A spicy pork chorizo and sour cream pizza topped with queso fresco and fresh cilantro and served with a jalapeño jellybean gastrique. The jelly beans had us stumped but luckily Reddit came to the rescue.

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Salami pizza with double yogurt

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Two servings of vanilla yogurt topped with fresh salami slices and drizzled with blackberry jelly. If you can get over the idea of salami and yogurt, it goes down pretty tastily.

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Shredded coconut and sweet pickles

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Pizza is topped with shredded coconut, drizzled with hot mustard and topped with sweet pickle chips. Shredder would be a crazy handy guy to have in this situation.

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Strawberry with anchovy sauce

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Caramelized strawberries served with an anchovy butter sauce and topped with whipped cream. This one was the most difficult to come up with. Thankfully, whipped cream saved the day.

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Hot oatmeal

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Hot, buttery oatmeal topped with brown sugar, honey and fresh strawberries. It’s another side to breakfast pizza.

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Popcorn

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Truffle oil popcorn with parsley flakes and parmesan cheese. There’s a pizza somewhere under that mountain of popcorn.

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Anchovies and banana

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Caramelized rum bananas and anchovy filets. The pizza that inspired this post. The bananas and anchovies were the perfect balance of sweet and salty.

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Goulash

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Hot goulash served with crumbles of queso fresco. After a quick Google search of what exactly goulash was, it was pretty easy to make.

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Granola and licorice 

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Vanilla yogurt topped with granola and shaved red licorice. It was a bitch to hand shred licorice, but doesn’t it look pretty?

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Video for verification

Categories
Adventures

Adventure: The Lime Truck

Ever since they won Food Network’s The Great Food Truck Race and hearing all the buzz surrounding The Lime Truck, I knew it was time to have a proper food adventure into the heart of Orange County to grab some delicious “California fusion” food.

After a cursory glance at the menu, me and my fellow FOODBEASTS decide to get the most out of our experience and order up a number of choice dishes.

We even got to sit down and have lunch with one of the food truck’s founders Daniel Shemtob and talk a little about the Food Truck Race and the finer points of running one of OC’s premiere food truck. But back to the food…

We started off with some succulent Crab Ceviche. The citrus tangy flavor coupled the natural sweetness of the shrimp and crab definitely made this dish a great way to start off our FOODBEAST meal.

We also had some roasted corn topped with spicy remoulade sauce and cotija cheese. Because FOODBEASTs need veggies too!

The Lime Truck’s Ahi Poke Tuna Nachos really was a sight to behold. The edemame hummus really brought a splash of color and flavor to some delicious raw Ahi Tuna chunks. It was almost a shame to eat such a beautiful thing… almost. A nice way to head into some heartier dishes.

Now this had to be one of my favorites of the entire meal. The Carnitas Fries. Sour cream, guacamole and chipotle cole slaw nestled on a bed of pulled pork–What more can anyone ask for? Some fries to eat them all with, that’s what. This proved to be the messiest and therefore delicious things eaten on this venture.

Daniel concedes it’s definitely one of his favorites they serve on the menu.

Nothing finishes a meal quite like a Slammin Lambin Sangwich. I say that because after all that food and this mountain of marinated lamb, veggies and tzatziki sauce and sriracha atop a flat bread bun, your meal is definitely finished. Good thing I had my fellow FOODBEASTs to help chow down on all this delectable grub.

Categories
Cravings

Original 5 Napkin Burger

Five Napkin Burger is a famous restaurant that started its legacy in Manhattan’s upper west side. Their most famous dish is obvious from the title of their restaurant, the Five Napkin Burger. In fact, their burger has made it into the lime light by receiving its own stage in Hell’s Kitchen! They also have the famous title Best New Burger of 2009 under their belt thanks to Time Out New York: Eat Out Awards. What makes this burger so popular is the 10 oz. fresh ground chuck patty, a pile of caramelized onions, melting gruyere cheese, rosemary aioli all sandwiched between a soft white roll! If the original doesn’t satisfy your taste buds, they have six other speciality 5 Napkin Burgers that will!  Their Ahi Tuna Burger and the Lamb Kofta Burger are on my 2011 New Years resolution list, what’s on yours? (Thx BurgerBusiness)

Categories
Cravings

Ahi Tuna Spring Rolls

If these don’t make your mouth water, I think you have a severe problem. And if you’re one of those bishes that don’t like seafood, then you  have an even larger problem. Never the less, these spring rolls are filled with seared Ahi tuna and served with sweet and sour wasabi sauce and red pepper mayo! Bamboo Bistro is the place that is rolling out these beauties,  make sure to show them some love if you ever in the O.C. (Thx Anita Szocs)

Categories
Cravings

Craving: Seared Ahi Tuna

When I’m in the mood to eat healthy I tend to go towards seafood. Not only is fish good for you, but it’s freakin’ delicious. One simple dish I always get when I go to California Fish Grill is seared ahi tuna. Fresh ahi tuna seared on the outside and left on sashimi style on the inside is all you need for a delicious and nutritious meal. (PicThx Fever2Tell)