Face it, the best part of not dying during Mayan Doomsday is knowing we still get to enjoy the two things that make this life worth living: Food and sex.
Here’s some of the best, worst, strangest and most OMGWTFBBQ-worthy sex-related news stories we saw this year.
Enter at your own risk.
Celebrated on March 14, AKA “Valentine’s Day for men,” the day for all you ladies out there to “show your man just how much you care.”
The guys from Epic Meal Time made a whiskey-flavored personal lubricant, to use on Steak and Blow Job Day I guess.
Here’s a lesson you can take away from this story about a Long Island food truck owner who tried selling her escort services on the side: Never trust the “secret sauce.”
Can you say sausage fest?
Thanks to sex therapist Dr. Ruth, you can now drink wine with only 6% ABV, which is apparently just enough to get you frisky, but not enough for naptime. Finally!
Hint: Don’t make jokes about Pam Cooking Spray either, ’cause ain’t none of this funny.
That’s the question that plagued one poor Chinese news station, who unfortunately broadcast the wrong answer throughout most of Asia. Oops?
Say “howdy” to our little friends.
Brought to us by a few of the grody minds at Eat Your Heart Out, these disease-ridden clapcakes have actually helped to promote STD awareness. Hell, I believe it. Ew.
The secret to staying long and strong? Eat your veggies, apparently. Now there’s something you won’t learn about in sex ed.
Answer: Your penis won’t grow larger and it’ll actually fall off and die.
Possibly the only good thing to come out of this year’s 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon. Because topless chefs and BDSM poultry? Hot.
The EU is raring to release a “natural alternative” to everyone’s favorite little blue pill. According to Angus Kennedy, founder of Kennedy’s Confection trade magazine, “It’s an all-natural ingredient which could give men the legendary staying power of some of the world’s greatest lovers.” Mmmm, sounds super sexy.