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How To Eat Milk & Cookies Like a Boss [WATCH]

Milk & cookies . . . how do you eat them?

If you grew up in my household, you likely had your fair share of cookies out of a package, because let’s face it, your mom wasn’t Paula Deen, she was a sweet Lebanese lady who bought enough packages of Chips Ahoy and Oreos to fill the minivan (oh, your mom wasn’t Lebanese?).

Regardless, the years of pulling cookies out of plastic packages and dunking them into a variety of ill-fitting glasses led to a revolutionary finding. While I was pouring milk into a nearby cup during a Saturday morning marathon of Boy Meets World, some of my milk splashed into the cookie tray. My irritation quickly grew to euphoria, as I came to the realization . . . the tray was the milk cup.

All the years of wasting glasses for milk and the solution was sitting in the very same package I was eating out of:

about-to-dunk-milk-cookies

milk-cookies-foodbeast-dunk

Most cookie packages come segmented into catch-all compartments that just happen to make the perfect container for your milk.

Gone are the days of dirtying piles of cups, crying over spilled milk, and failed attempts to fit your cookie into an uncooperative glass. And before people start throwing a fit and saying, “Well, now I’ve dirtied my cookie container,” I have one of two solutions for you:

  • Finish your damn cookies, there’s only an average of 24 per package. No big.
  • You can use any pair of mediocrely-crafted scissors to cut the compartment you filled with milk away from the others

Looks like cookie companies had functionality in mind after all:

cookies-milk-disposable

In the past couple months, we’ve learned How to Eat Chinese Food, Cupcakes, Apples, Strawberries and Corn. Now, we can add Milk & Cookies to the list of things we can say we’re doing just that much better. Foodbeast, changing lives every day.

Thanks cookies . . . thanks for nothing, mom.

By Elie Ayrouth

Elie is a product of Orange County, CA. In early 2012, his dentist diagnosed him with 8 different cavities, three of which on the same tooth, as a result of his 23-year Sour Patch Kid addiction.

17 replies on “How To Eat Milk & Cookies Like a Boss [WATCH]”

The guy didn’t have a small bowl. Only different sized glasses. What would you do if you were on a road trip and only had milk, cookies, and scissors? Or, if you were snacking at work? Or school? Or taking a hike in the backwoods? Or walking to your grandmother’s house?

This is still incorrect Milk & Cookie dunkage, while much close still slightly off the mark. Rather than removing the cookies you simply fill the tray with the cookies with milk until it reaches 1/2 to 2/3 up the cookies. Therefore you can have you cookies marinating in the milk until ready to eat. At least that is my approach.

Yeah, but if you don’t eat the entire tray of cookies, then you’re left with having to pull all the cookies out of the package and store them somewhere else. That is unless you waste time cutting off a portion of the tray. I’ve never had a problem eating milk and cookies. I just use my common sense and get a glass big enough to dunk the cookies into. And ya don’t dunk cookie, hand and all into the glass to make the milk spill overboard, LOL

Sorry, but this was just a terrible video this time around. First, there was exactly nothing wrong with the glass at 0:33, and everything wrong with its user. Second, this method depends on you eating a minimum of 1/4 of the cookies in the package. The article’s suggestion that you eat the entire bag of cookies? Like 2,000 empty, sugar-filled calories in a single sitting? That’s exactly what one of the fattest, most unhealthy nations in the world needs.

I’ve liked some of the other suggestions from this site, but this one just stretched way too far. Terrible article, terrible video.

What’s wrong with dunking them out of a pint glass? Oh, that’s right – nothing, other than that prefabricated accident that never occurs outside of infomercials.

What you should really use is a bourbon glass that has a wide rim and low height so you don’t have an out of balance milk/cookies ratio.

Wow, that is dumb. Then you either have to eat the whole pack or take your time cutting out that portion. Put the cookies in a bowl, drop some milk on em, and spoon em out.

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