There’s an old episode of Spongebob Squarepants in which Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward get their hands on some slide whistles and proceed to add inappropriate sound effects to EVERYTHING in Bikini Bottom — from automatic doors opening to lover’s quarrels. While we don’t recommend being that insufferable, these “Wet My Whistle” straws from Fred & Friends could add some much needed entertainment to an otherwise joyless drinking experience.
Slide whistle when your buddy gets turned down by a girl at the bar. Slide whistle to cover unpleasant vomiting sounds. Slide whistle just to slide whistle, because you and your friends are drunk and no one will remember how annoying you’re being anyway. The “slide” works by pulling the straw in and out of liquid as you blow, providing the perfect excuse to keep drinking — or the perfect excuse for the bartender to cut you off early.
Wet My Whistle Musical Straws, available soon for $9.99 @Fred & Friends