Fast Food

Ronald McDonald Loses His Head Over Some Disrespectful Teenagers, Here’s Why

For those who don’t know, the Ronald McDonald house in Burlington, VT., is a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping kids and their families maintain good health and well-being. So when some bored, rebellious shitdicks went and chopped the head off of the Ronald McDonald statue perched on the bench right outside, people were pretty upset.

These little McDouchebags attacked the clown three different times.

First they burned his face off, leaving him looking like Harvey Dent from The Dark Knight. Then they knocked his head clear off of his body by taking a cinder block to his domepiece. At least he’s going to be saving a lot of money on pillows, right? Finally, they sawed his feet off, presumably to make sure he can’t run away. Very cautious of them.

Kristine Bickford, Executive Director for the Ronald McDonald House, was totes annoyed by the whole ordeal. She claimed that the children were traumatized, and she also encouraged the perpetrators to come down to the Ronald McDonald House and see for themselves what her organization represents. Also probably to convince them to knock that shit off.

Personally, I think having a creepy red and yellow clown sitting on a bench outside is really where the trauma stems from. I guess Ronald won’t be getting a-“head” in life! Ha! But seriously McDonald’s, nobody likes clowns anymore. Maybe it’s time to consider a new mascot that doesn’t hide under my bed and murder me in my nightmares.

Image Source: Cotton Ball Conspiracy, Fox News

By Sean Fahmy

Sean's favorite foods are hot wings, cheeseburgers, seafood and gummy candy. He will likely die from both diabetes and obesity, or "diabesity." He's cool with that.

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