This intro goes out to all the incoming college freshmen: if (and when) you start to feel small and scared and nostalgic for the playground, Diageo USA has just created the perfect way to get recess-wasted with new Freeze and Squeeze Parrot Bay & Smirnoff Frozen Drink Pouches.
That’s right, it’s alcohol. In a pouch. Get your vodka gummies out.
Full disclosure: these bad boys were actually designed to provide a quick and easy way for party hosts to serve mixed drinks without having to mix anything, and therefore don’t come with any actual straws or straw holes. But there’s nothing stopping you from popping one in yourself (except maybe your date of birth, but hey, that’s what Bigs and RAs are for). So just grab a few, freeze them overnight and get yo’ illegal classroom-drank on the next day—all without ever using a blender or fake ID.
New Diageo Freeze and Squeeze packs come in six flavors, the Parrot Bays being a bit more “traditional” in their range (i.e., Frozen Strawberry Daiquiri, Frozen Mango Daiquiri and Frozen Piña Colada), and the Smirnoffs more innocently disguised as summertime-childhood fare with flavors like Frozen Strawberry Lemonade, Frozen Blue Raspberry Lemonade and Frozen Cherry Limeade.
Granted, as cool as these alcoholic “juice bags” are, they’re definitely not the first of their kind, having been released about a year after cocktail brand Daily’s introduced their own Frozen Drink Pouches around mid-2011. But that doesn’t make them any less fun. Or potentially dangerous.
Both Parrot Bay and Smirnoff Freeze and Squeeze Pouches are 5% ABV and are available in single 10 oz. sizes for $1.99.