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Cravings

This Is The Most Erotic Poem About Pizza I’ve Ever Heard [WATCH]

Poetry can be beautiful, it can lift your spirits, it can take you to a place you never thought possible. And then there’s times when poetry wants to make you take a shower with pizza and do dirty things.

As our own Elie Ayrouth went down to St. Louis to find out what goes down after hours during Tastemade’s “All Nighter” show, he stumbled upon a slam poetry session and dropped a poem about his favorite cheesy pie that could almost be mistaken for a Too $hort verse.

Elie has a knack for turning anything sexual, as his Nikki Giovanni-like spoken word flows actually had the crowd bobbing their heads.

Pizza
Pizza is life
Pizza is sexy
It’s curvy, it’s saucy
Pizza is my wife
It’s deep, deep dish
No, no deep sea fish on my pizza
Paper thin crust
Mile-long cheese pulls
Mountains of pepperoni and basil
It’s nipply in Napoli
Cheese drips everywhere
My food boner burstin’ through my jeans, every seam wih me and my slice
Is ripe with wide eyes, for better or worse, I can’t see the world outside
I need a drink just thinking about my love for this piece of bread, sauce an cheese
It makes me weak to my knees and despite what’s outside
I keep my eyes on the pie
Just one piece, maybe two, maybe six
There’s no bad day for pizza
And even when the pizza’s bad, I want a garbage bag
full of seconds and thirds
until my stomach spits
and this world has heard that I got love for pizza
I want to fold it, I want to rip it
let it wrap around my tongue
as I run up the spiral staircase of a food boner building on my ground floor
the delivery guy’s almost here
I can’t wait to start eating some pizza

Its lines were almost like Kanye’s McDonald’s poem, except pizza trumps MCD fries any day.

There’s a very specific type of person who thinks of sex and pizza at the same time. If this poem makes you feel some type of way, you now know you are one of those people.

By Isai Rocha

Isai is the self-proclaimed Kanye West of burrito eating. He has a hard time trusting vegans, ranch dressing and especially vegan ranch dressing.

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