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Ex-Spokesman Jared Fogle In Constant Fear For His Pitiful Life In Prison

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Jared Fogle, a name now synonymous with floppy sandwiches and child-piddling, is back in the news for another cringeworthy but well-deserved shitstorm.

A little over two weeks ago, Fogle was approached in the recreational yard at Englewood Prison in Colorado by a fellow inmate named Steve Nigg. Nigg then proceeded to beat the living bajeezus out of Fogle for being a nasty, nasty boy. Apparently Nigg has some real issues with child molesters, and frankly, nobody blames him.

In order to prevent my homie Stever the Pedo-Cleaver from shoving his all-American foot back up Fogle’s stretchy ass, prison officials decided to transfer him to another prison in Oklahoma, over 700 miles away. TMZ reported that, “Our sources say prison officials talked to Nigg who made it clear…he would brutalize Fogle again if given the opportunity, because of his seething hatred toward child molesters.”

Let’s just be thankful that Fogle is now paying a much steeper (perhaps deeper) price for his footlongs.

 

 

via NBC News, Heavy

By Sean Fahmy

Sean's favorite foods are hot wings, cheeseburgers, seafood and gummy candy. He will likely die from both diabetes and obesity, or "diabesity." He's cool with that.

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