The Bachelorette Party industry is really slipping. While it’s easy to understand the appeal of sucking down Screaming Orgasms oozing out of dick-shaped shot glasses, it’s a little harder to think our future husbands would appreciate experiencing a virtual circumcision every time they sit down to read the morning paper.
But it seems nobody told the folks at OMG International that. Dubbed the “Breakfast of Champenis,” their Penis Egg Fryer is exactly what it sounds like – a black, non-stick mold designed to help you make perfectly phallic breakfast foods, including but not limited to eggs, pancakes and pizzas.
Why? Because it’s “erotic” and “eggciting,” the packaging says, which makes total sense if you’re like, fifty, and the sight of solid sizzling egg white is enough to get you hot and bothered. Me, I like to think I’m a little harder to please. As in, it’s a bacon weave dildo, or no dice.
The Penis Egg Fryer: $15 @ Amazon