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#foodbeast Hit-Or-Miss

The Cranberry Juice Cleanse Is Not Going To Help You Pass That Surprise Drug Test

Imagine its Friday morning, you walk into work and there’s a memo hot off the press that reads: “Random Drug Screenings on Monday.” -HR

You start to sweat because lawwwd knows you’ve been feeling good off that loud all week. So the next chance you get, you grab the Costco sized handle of Cranberry juice, right?

Wrong!

While cranberry juice is chock full of antioxidants to help your body detoxify, THC is stored in your fat cells so getting cranberry wasted isn’t the proper method to get you through a urine drug test. That myth has been debunked, and there are more effective ways of getting your body ready to pass with flying colors.

Cardio/Weightlifting

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What’s the fool-proof way to release fat from your body? Sweating it all out. Intense cardio training and weightlifting up to the day before the drug test will substantially help in releasing the THC compounds from your body. As long as you’re really sweating, you know it’s working.

Drink LOTS of Water

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Your detoxification process will be all for naught if you do not consume enough water everyday until the test. At the very least, it is recommended that you drink ten glasses of water throughout the day, causing you to urinate hourly. The pro-tip is to drink water with your meals and before, during, and after the intense cardio and weightlifting sessions.

Avoid Junk Food & Red Meat

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Junk food and red meats slow metabolism and will only hinder your body’s natural cleansing. They contain enough sugars, fatty acid, and sodium that cause higher water retention within your body.

Eat Leafy Greens & Foods Rich In Fiber


Having a healthy diet will immensely aid in removing the chemicals from your body. Leafy greens, lean meat, beans, lentils, and peas will give you a fighting chance to cleanse properly.

Caffeinated Teas


Teas like green tea or black tea are rich in antioxidants that help in the detoxification process, but are also great because their small amounts of caffeine help boost your metabolism.

Vitamin B Supplements


Vitamins B-1, B-6, and B-12 supports your body’s metabolism and produces essential red and white blood cells that help your body fight toxins.

Your likelihood of passing that surprise drug test depends of course on how long and often you smoke, but the guidelines above should significantly improve your chances if properly carried out. Hours prior to the actual test, it would be good to have a home drug test handy to see where you stand. Godspeed, stoners!

By Raphael Madrid

Raphael is a lot better at eating than he is cooking. He also opts for the al pastor over the carne asada in his tacos and burritos. Mild in the streets, picante in the sheets. Vegeta > Vegetables.