If Alcohol Labels Told the Truth, They’d Look a Little Something Like This


You’re at a grocery store and you have to make a decision. Will you stay at home, crying about your ex with Netflix and Moscato? Or head out with the girls for an “I’ll hold your hair back if you hold mine” sesh after one too many vodka-Red Bulls?

Total Sorority Move drafted a series of tongue-in-cheek alcohol bottles renamed for what they should actually be called. We’re talking “Crying Alone” moscato, “Sugar” Malibu Rum, and “Vomit Everywhere” Jager. Granted, while some labels like “Dancing on Tablés” tequila are spot on, others like “Blackout” Fireball come off as a little generic.

Check out more of our favorites below, and feel free to enjoy with a can of “Super Deep V” PBR.

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H/T Imgur

By Dominique Zamora

Dominique would be a foodie if she had money to pay for food. For now, she gets by just looking at food photography, which results in at least one more starving journalism student every time Instagram breaks down.

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