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Hit-Or-Miss

Man’s House Mysteriously Egged Over 100 Times In The Past Year

This is the egging to end all eggings. The Ocean’s Eleven of petty vandalism (Rat Pack, not Clooney and the gang). The most colossal waste of eggs in criminal history.

Albert Clemens Sr., an 85-year-old Euclid, OH, resident, has been under attack for the past 12 months, and there’s no end in sight. An unknown assailant(s) relentlessly eggs his two-story house in the suburbs surrounding Cleveland, to the tune of about 100 incidents.

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It began in March 2014, and the case continues to baffle locals and law enforcement alike. At one point, the city’s entire police department was dedicated to capturing the culprit and officers always responded quickly to the scene, about a mile from the station.

Authorities have determined that the eggs are acquired from a local Amish farm (the trail goes cold after that) and launched from one or two blocks away. Evidently, the egger is Annie Oakley because the eggs almost always hit the front door in nice weather. No other houses on the street have been targeted, but an occasional stray will hit a neighbor’s home.

Clemens lives in the house with his two middle-aged children. It is unclear as to what enemies any of them would have. Suspects on the block have been cleared over time simply by being outside during an attack.

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An egging even occurred when police were at the residence; an officer’s foot got yolked while taking a report on a previous incident.

Clemens’ insurance company won’t pay for the damage to the house’s aluminum siding until the perpetrator is found, so Clemens has given up on cleaning after each downpour.

The Euclid Egger faces charges of felony vandalism, criminal damaging and potentially hate crime charges, depending on relevant evidence unearthed via an arrest.

How do you think the Euclid Egger is pulling this off?

H/t & picthx Cleveland.com

By J. Fergus

J. is an overbearing pizza snob who loves putting as much sugar as possible in cupcakes and coffee. They eagerly awaits diabetes.

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