Don’t Have Sex With Olive Oil as Lubricant — Or This Can Happen

olive oil lubricant goes wrongThe state of Florida has a knack for keeping our news queue filled, specifically with the amount of residents that commit food-related crimes (not to mention the state has its own category on Fark). Not too long ago we told you the story of the Palm Bay resident that used Cheez-Its as ninja star weaponry that sent his wife to the hospital. And no one will soon forget the Miami zombie-apocalypse-face-eating story which led the CDC to give a written statement denying the existence of zombies. So what now?

Port St. Lucie resident Barbara Hall and her boyfriend are getting all riled up (sexy time) when she tells him to get the olive oil. The rest is comedic history. The report states:

When (the boyfriend) returned with the olive oil, Barbara asked if he had also brought the PAM cooking spray. Barbara believed (the boyfriend) misunderstood what she had said, and commented on a girl named Pam that he knows.

To briefly summarize, the boyfriend had made a comment about a girl named Pam that he had recently slept with, mistaking the PAM joke for a criticizing comment about a previous rendezvous. An argument began and ended with Hall throwing the Olive Oil bottle and hitting her boyfriend in the head. Hall has since been booked on a domestic battery charge.

Hall did not comment about the specific type of olive oil. So it is still unknown whether the oil was of a virgin, extra virgin or cock-blocking variety.

(via TCPalm, Photo Credit via USDAGov Flickr)

By Geoff Kutnick

Geoffrey Kutnick is the King of Soft Serve. Been placing ice cream in soup bowls at the buffet since '87.

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