Here’s the thing: free food is always great. But after several millennia of eating the same thing year after year after year, wouldn’t you get sick of plain old milk and cookies too?
Why not give Santa something to look forward to this Christmas with these five twisted takes on the traditional naughty child’s Hail Mary Pass? Who knows, hopefully this time the Peppermint White Russian will be enough to get the big guy to forget that one thing you did at that one place that one time. Hopefully.
Bacon Fat Cookies
For all the diet and weight loss f*cks Santa clearly gives.
Chocolate Chip Cookie Cocktail
After a swig of this super sweet solution, Rudolph’s nose won’t be the only thing that’s red. I mean, aside from the sleigh, and the suit and the . . . hat . . .
Dismembered Gingerbread Men
Because gingerbread men are creepy anyway and I’m sure by now Santa’s developed one sick sense of humor.
Dismembered Gingerbread Cookie Cutters: $13 @ Tasteless
Peppermint White Russian
Milk + Peppermint + Booze for one super jolly Christmas in Santa’s mouth. Ho ho ho, indeed.
via A Beautiful Mess
And finally, Sunny Side Up Breakfast Nachos
Mostly for all those living south of the equator, because after a long night of working and drinking, Santa’s bound to have worked up an appetite.