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Dangling Mushroom and Carrot Sweater Shorts, For Your Own Dangling Mushrooms and Carrots

This is all PETA’s fault. If it wasn’t for that damn veggie-dick video, imagining male genitalia as produce would have remained the safely hidden pastime of desperate housewives. But now the internet’s gotten a hold of it, and apparently, it’s not letting go.

This winter, because you know if you don’t, someone else will, why not buy yourself a pair of these vegetable-inspired “Sexy men Shorts” from etsy? Apparently they’re “ideal for cold weather” and not itchy at all. Just don’t be surprised if more than one confused visitor decides to take a bite, or judges you for being more baby carrot than full-blown carrot stick.

“Sexy Men” Veggie Sweater Shorts: $50-75 @ etsy

By Dominique Zamora

Dominique would be a foodie if she had money to pay for food. For now, she gets by just looking at food photography, which results in at least one more starving journalism student every time Instagram breaks down.

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