Craving: Pepperoni Hot Pocket

Pepperoni Hot Pocket. Really can’t go wrong. No matter how long you put it in the microwave, when you bite into it, you know it’s going to be “burn your tongue and wish you hadn’t been so zealous” hot, and 15 minutes later your buttcheeks are going to be playing tonsil hockey with your favorite toilet. Sorry for the imagery, but it’s all part of the experience. If you’re looking for a nice dipping sauce (if you’re not, this post is over), try your favorite ranch dressing in a bowl, and spill some Tapatio and BBQ Hot Wing sauce into it, and stir. How do you eat your Hot Pocket? (Thx SeanHenri)

By Elie Ayrouth

Elie is a product of Orange County, CA. In early 2012, his dentist diagnosed him with 8 different cavities, three of which on the same tooth, as a result of his 23-year Sour Patch Kid addiction.