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Cravings

How To Make Some French Toast Crunch French Toast

french-toast-leader

Love breakfast? Love fried food? Love French Toast? Love the 90s? Love high fructose corn syrup? Well if you answered yes to any of these questions (you should have said yes to all of them, btw) then you’re going to love making French Toast Crunch French Toast. So hang on to your baguettes because I am going to take you on a high cholesterol meta joy ride.

ftc

When I was a kid I used to HATE cereal. I never got into Lucky Charms/Trix/Cap’n Crunch or any of those types of cereals. I never understood the appeal for something cold in the morning.

That was all before I had me some French Toast Crunch.

It was seriously like eating hard french toast soaked in milk (I know that  sounds disgusting but TRUST ME, it’s soooo good). I recall my sister and I eating an entire box in one sitting. So when I started to hear rumors that it might be making a comeback I started hunting the cereal aisle like I was Captain Ahab looking for my white whale.

After a couple of weeks I finally tracked down a couple of boxes and took them home ASAP. After eating around 10 bowls, and ruining the roof of my mouth I decided to switch it up and see what I could come up with other than the old fashioned bowl + milk + spoon ingestion method. That’s when it hit me, FRENCH TOAST CRUNCH FRENCH TOAST!

ingredents

Let’s get right into this.

INGREDIENTS

  • 1 Cup Flour
  • 3 Cups French Toast Crunch
  • 1 12 Teaspoons Baking Powder
  • 12 Teaspoon Salt
  • 1 12 Teaspoons Vanilla Extract
  • 1 Cup Milk
  • 2 Eggs, Well Beaten
  • 1 Loaf off Day Old French Bread
  • Vegetable Oil (for frying)
  • Powdered sugar (optional)

 

You’re going to to want to pulse your French Toast Crunch in a food processor until you have the desired texture. I wanted mine to have the classic shape of the lil’ toasts so I only hit it a couple of times.

ftc-powder

After you have the toast all crunched up it’s time to make your batter. You’re going to want to mix all the dry ingredients together first (duh) then add your eggs/milk/and vanilla. Then whip whip whip whip it till it’s allllll blended together. NO LUMPS!

batter

 

Cut the bread into 112 inch slices and let them soak in the batter for about 2 minutes. While you’re cutting bread and letting the slices soak, you should get your oil going. Pour about 1inch of oil into a frying pan and let it get to about 350°F.

bread

breading

Once you’ve got that oil up to temp you’re going to want to take your bread and coat that sucker with all the French Toast Crunch it can handle.

frying (1)

Place it gently into the frying pan (the goal here is not to set your house on fire). Let it fry for around 45 seconds on both sides. Place the French Toast Crunch French Toast on a rack and  pre-heat your oven to 350°F.

oven

Place toast in the oven for 14 minutes (flipping them at the 7 min mark). Once your house starts smelling like the State Fair and they get to that beautiful golden brown delicious color it’s time to pull them out.

Let them cool for about 5 min and sprinkle powdered sugar on top. Please don’t ruin the integrity of the French Toast Crunch by serving this with that fake knock-off Dollar General syrup, GO GET THE REAL STUFF, PLAYA’.

fin

 Written by The Glut Life for Foodbeast

Categories
Recipes

How to Make Deep-Fried Balut Po’ Boy

duck egg balut po boy

I’ve been on a po’ boy kick for the past couple of weeks, but then I got bored of all these basic ass po’ boys. I needed that new new. So, I hit up a nearby Asian market.  As soon as I walked in, I spotted some Balut eggs. It was love at first sight. If you’re not familiar with what balut is, then you NEED TO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS FIRST. Then, keep reading.

duck egg aioli

Ok, so first things first: I needed to make the aioli. Oh, and now that you know what Balut is, you know I had to keep this thing duck-themed. So I incorporated the duck egg in the aioli.  Check out the recipe.

Duck Egg Aioli

  • 2 or 3 fresh garlic cloves, peeled and minced.
  • Coarse sea salt
  • 1 duck egg yolk (room temperature)
  • 1/2 lemon, juiced
  • 1 cup pure olive oil
  • 1 table spoon of orange zest
  • a few slices of jalapeno (cause you know I gots to have  that spice)

Directions

Whisk minced garlic, pinch of sea salt (to start), and yolk until smooth. Squeeze in lemon juice. Then, while whisking by hand, pour olive oil in steady stream to emulsify. Putting a towel under the bowl during the process helps with the bowl slipping and sliding. Take a few breaks in between the process to make sure the oil is fully mixed in. Slow and steady wins the aioli — so check it before you wreck it. Once it reaches a consistency to your liking, add salt to taste and fold in the orange zest and jalapeno slices. Kept the ‘penos sliced, rather than diced cause yuh’ know I like’m cute and chunky.

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This is when things got weird….

duck egg embryo balut

To prepare these guys all you have to do is boil them like a normal chicken egg. After letting them cool, I was really hyped to try one dipped in salt and pepper, aka the traditional OG style. Once I cracked open that shell and popped the embryo sac, I saw a beak, feathers, and a set of eyes.  All I could think about was this ಥ_ಥ

tempura batter duck egg embryo

So I decided to go with what I know best and that’s to DEEP FRY ‘EM.

Tempura Batter

  • 1 cup flour
  • 1 table spoon cornstarch
  • 1 1/2 cups of soda water as cold as possible

Directions

Combine all of the ingredients and mix until smooth. A few lumps here and there is aight. The cold bubs keeps the batter fluffy, so refrigerate if you’re not going to use it right away and in-between battering.

deep fried duck egg embryo balut

I did a hood version of an at-home deep fryer by pouring a bunch of grape seed oil into a cast iron skillet (about halfway). Once the oil gets to about 375 degrees, then I’m ready to fry. Coat the ducklings evenly in the tempura batter and drop them in the deep fryer until golden brown delicious. Salt them as soon as you pull them out.

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The Holy Duck Trinity Sandwich Spread

deviled duck egg spread and duck aioli

Clockwise from top left: deviled duck embryo yolk spread – duck egg aioli – smoked paprika.

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How to Assemble

duck embryo balut po boy

Assembling the sandwich is up to you. I kept it New Orleans style simple and used iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, and leftover jalapenos. You know a GlutLife recipe wouldn’t be complete without sum drank. And the best way to wash a little quack down is with a little yak of the Hennessy variety.

A special shout out goes to Glut family member Landjawz for showing us how to suck on duck eggs.

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Recipes

How to Make White Truffle Risotto Served in a Bowl Carved Out of Parmesan

parm edit 1

Roses, chocolate truffles, diamonds… Who wants that perfect love story anyways? Please, son. It’s time you stepped your game up in the kitchen and made her swoon with those semi-pro Iron Chef skills. Plus, nothing says I heart you more than droppin’ some cheddar on 15 lbs of Parmesan!

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Recipes

How to Make Seattle Bacon-Infused Dogs with Cream Cheese

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This year the Super Bowl made me feel like I was getting epically trolled. The game was awful (yes, I’m biased), the ads fell flat (with the exception of this) and the Halftime show garnered an overall “meh.” That being said, we thought the Seahawks deserved some love on their first Super Bowl win, and we wanted to show everyone how they do dogs in The Emerald City — with a Glut Life twist, of course. cool

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Recipes

Heisenberg Approved: How To Make Breaking Bad Meth Candy In Your Garage

breaking-bad-recipe

After a year of sobriety from the first half of the final episodes of Breaking Bad, we finally got our fix with the premiere of the 2nd part of the 5th season. To celebrate we channeled our inner Heisenberg and made up a batch of that blue stuff, YO.

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Recipes

Here’s How To Make ‘Trap Champagne’ Using Dom Perignon, Pickles & Kool-Aid [Lolz]

Done Right: Trap Champagne

I always had a fascination with hood drinks. From walking down alleys on E. Grand Ave. as a kid, finding empty 40 oz. bottles and chuckin’ them at walls, to ordering my first Incredible Hulk at Club Blue, CRUNK juices set the pace for any night out. It’s time to give back to the hood what I so excessively guzzled away. Trap Champagne a.k.a. T-Pain, is a celebratory drink for all of life’s STRUGGLES.

Done Right: Trap Champagne

Kool-aid simple syrup should be at hands reach at errry bar.  I mean, just  imagine your childhood fav flavor enhancing cocktails. Tongues telling no lies: grape, cherry, lemon-lime, orange.

  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 3/4 a packet of Kool-Aid Cherry

In a small pot, boil the water then slowly add the sugar while whisking. Turn off the heat and continue to stir until the sugar dissolves. Then add the Kool-Aid and stir until dissolved. Set aside to cool.

Done Right: Trap Champagne

Kosher Dill pickles for a un-Kosher practice. These spears bring the perfect amount of sourness, saving it from being called a “fruity drink.” Cut into 1/4 in. pieces so they can continue their journey as a TRAP STAR

Done Right: Trap Champagne

It’s time to get trappy mane. With the remaining Kool-Aid, portion the powder so that it can be rolled with the pickle slices.

Amex Black cards = Yayo. Public library cards = Kool-Aid. Gotta’ craw before you baaaalllll

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Time to dust your pickle. As soon as it hits the dry powder, it will transform to vivid red like a Phoenix rising from the ashes. I suggest that once rolled, you should let it rest so that the powder can work its magic through the spear. You might of seen something like this when full-sour pickles are brined in a Kool-Aid bath. Thank you M.I.crooked letter crooked letter I. crooked letter crooked letter I. hump-back hump-back I

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Tell-tale signs of an addict. Beware of the effects of a heavy user. Your fingertips will be stained the color of the Kool-Aid, sooooo better use some protection.

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Dom Perignon, your vintage is never too old to try something new! Pour chilled bubblies into a chilled champagne flute. Add 1/4 oz of pickle juice then 1/2 oz of Kool-Aid simple syrup. Watch how the sizzurp transforms this drank. Are you fiending now?

IMG_7830

Finish off the glass with a chunk of Kool-Aid pickle as a garnish. At first sip, the champagne brut comes through then you are slowly introduced to the brininess, but not too sour, of pickle juice. At last, a sweet sour send off of cherry Kool-Aid as you finish off the Trap Champagne.

So let’s all raise a glass to the ass-holes, let’s all toast to Poppin’ bottles, put supermodels in cabs, and let’s all agree that ‘May all our pain be champagne’. Jeezey and Gucci Mane, ya’ll swash the beef and pour it up over some Trap Champagne.

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Recipes

Here’s How To Make Hot Cheetos-Crusted Fried Mozzarella Sticks

Hot_Cheetos_cheesesticks

Okay so I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but Hot Cheetos have pretty much ruled my life since they came out. I seriously don’t know what I’d do if they stopped making these things. Back in 2004 I moved to Brooklyn, and not many people know this, but back then, you couldn’t find Hot Cheetos up there. I had to beg my grandma to ship to me some about once a week so I could get my fix. LOVE YOU, GMA.

The idea for this post was pretty simple, folks. I like fried cheese, I like Hot Cheetos, I decided let’s combine the two and make some MAAAAAAGIC.

Hot Cheetos-Crusted Fried Mozzarella Sticks

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Ok first things first, ingredients:

  • $.99 Bag of Hot Cheetos, easy. (1 cup)
  • Brick of mozzarella chz, easy.
  • Panko Bread Crumbs, easy. (1 cup)
  • 2 eggs, easy.
  • Tabasco, easy. (Use however much you can take)

Pretty simple stuff. Now lets get to steps:

The first thing you want to do is to get your brick of mozzarella cheese and cut dem sticks to size. By the time we finished it looked like we had a lil’mozzarella Stonehenge going on.

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Then throw pretty much the entire bag of Hot Cheetos into a food processor and chop chop chop, chop it up. Once you’ve got it into crumbs, mix with the Panko in a 50/50 ratio. If you can dig the heat, go 70/30.

Ok, now time to get it coated. Hope y’all don’t mind gettin’ kinda messy cause this egg wash mess doesn’t play. What you wanna do is go Cheese – Egg Wash – Panko & Hot Cheetos – Egg Wash – Panko & Hot Cheetos.

Ohhhhhh yeh, I guess it would help if I told ya’ goons how to make our egg wash:

  • Crack two eggs, place them into a bowl.
  • Add a couple of dashes of Tabasco and scramble the hell out of them.
  • That’s it. You’ve just made an egg wash. Congrats.

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Ok time to get things a’cooking. You wanna fill your pan/pot/bucket/whatever you got about half way up and then heat up on your oil to around 350 degrees Fahrenheit. With a pair of tongs, place the sticks into the oil. Careful doe, with that hot oil. You don’t wanna end up like ol’boy from RoboCop.

When they start floating and/or 60 seconds comes up, time to flip those birds and turn them over. Do the same thing on the other side and let them rest on a paper towel to soak up all that nasty. They should be all stringy and nice looking like the photo to the below.

NOW GO MAKE THEM!!!

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Recipe by The Glut Life

Categories
Recipes

Here’s How to Make Deep Fried Little Debbie Christmas Trees

Strollin’ around a brightly fluorescent lit grocery store, a spotlight shined down from the ceiling onto something at the far end of an aisle. Feeling like one of the three Wise men following the north star during Biblical times, I made the journey towards the light. What was I going to find when I reached my destination? Treasures? Little Baby Jesus? Wrong, I kneeled down and picked up the LAST box of Little Debbie’s Christmas Tree Cakes. Hallelujah. Angels started singing

 I eat Debbies, I drink Shiner

at the same damn time.

I was given the gift from a higher power of the last Little Debbie’s Christmas Tree Cakes of the season. With this gift, it deserves to be transformed and showcased. The Fried Xmas Tree ornaments are born.

For the Holiday beer batter you need:

  • 1 – 12 oz Shiner Holiday Cheer
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 cup of sugar
  • 1 tablespoon of salt
  • 1 teaspoon of baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
  • 1 egg

Mix all dry ingredients first, then everything else. Mix in the Shiner at the end. Chill it. Heat 24 oz of canola oil to 350 degrees in a medium pot.

This season’s dark wheat brew from Shiner Brewery is the perfect choice for this batter. Its malty flavor still comes out along with the Texas peaches and roasted pecans. You better believe this is the drink choice for around the fire-pit this winter.

 

Done Right: Fried Xmas Tree

Time to prep the ornaments. We’re in the kitchen, put that sewing needle and yarn away and pull out the bamboo skewer and butcher’s twine. Grab the box of trees and start stabbing holes, running string through, and tie knots like a Las Vegas wedding chapel on 12/21/12.

 

Done Right: Fried Xmas Tree

The trees are now ready to bathe in the batter. Be careful not to pull out the trees too quickly after they are coated, they might break at the holes because of the extra batter weight. Let the excess batter drip off.

 

Done Right: Fried Xmas Tree

Done Right: Fried Xmas Tree

This is were I get excited and start feeling that Xmas cheer! Slowly lower the beer-battered holiday ornament into the hot oil (a sentence I thought I would NEVER say). Oh man, the smell of this frying brought me back to State Fair days, passing by the funnel cake stands. Fry each side for less than a minute until golden brown. Remove fried goodness and drain any excess oil on a paper towel. Set aside to cool.

 

Done Right: Fried Xmas Tree

Done Right: Fried Xmas Tree

What’s the holidays without a family bonding activity? Have the kiddos (or drinking buddies) decorate the ornaments. Use festive icing, sprinkles, and powdered sugar. Make it a contest for the best looking ornaments. The loser gets to spend Christmas in a corner… I kid, I kid.

 

Done Right: Fried Xmas Tree

Now this is a Xmas tree! The Glut Life tree got some fried ornaments around it, no fugazi. Finally biting into this piece of heaven on a string will fill you with holiday cheer! The batter is crunchy on the outside and fluffy with hints of vanilla, cinnamon and peach. (This would make a dope funnel cake BTW) The frosting on the Little Debbie is contained in the batter shell and the cake is warmed from the frying.

An angel might get his wings when a bell rings, but after he takes a bite of this he’s not gonna want to fly, just park and sip.

 

Done Right: Fried Xmas Tree

Oh… and Santa, we at The Glut Life made you a little som’n som’n. Tell the Misses to stop tha bitchin’, you gonna make it in a second. Beer battered chewy Chips Ahoy (leftover batter = excuse to fry anything)