This Adorably Lazy Cat Reviews ‘Beef Wellington’ and ‘Chicken Pate’

A few weeks ago, that frou frou cat “Mittens” recommended I try Purrfect Bistro. While I rarely take anything seriously that hairy dude says, I secretly ordered a package of it anyway. Just don’t tell Mittens.

If you do, we’re totally not friends anymore.

The package arrived while I was in the middle of my usual routine — kicking back with some Saturday morning cartoons while trying to hide the remote from Socks. Then, just as Spongebob was showing that starfish who’s boss, the doorbell rang.

I leaped off the couch with the quickness of a trained ninja and opened the door.


Ugh. I was happier than a kitten in a pool of catnip and silly string.

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Of course, Socks took the liberty of opening it himself.

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He’s the reason we can’t have nice things.

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Once I managed to get rid of Socks, I set up a swanky picnic for myself.

I started off with Beef Wellington packed with Omegas. Gotta keep that fur lookin’ fine for the ladies.

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That Chicken Pate tho. Low carbs, high protein and most delicious thing EVAR.

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I followed up the main course with some grain-free chicken grub, aka #SNACKSONSNACKSONSNACKS

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Overall, some pretty classy treats that’ll put you in an epic food coma and make you useless for the rest of the day. Can’t be mad at that!

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If you’re trying to impress a certain lady cat in your life or just want to eat proper, grab some grub here or head to your closest Petco or other specialty pet shop.

You also get $4 off any Merrick Purrfect Bistro dry food bag or 50¢ off any wet food with this coupon.

Tell them Philly sent you.

Philly the Kat